My kids love attending Grace Kids on Sunday mornings, I might even dare to say it is the highlight of their week. My 5 year old son Clark often requests “go to church” throughout the week and is disappointed when we explain that it is not Sunday so we can’t go today. Therefore, I’m sure you can imagine his dismay (and mine) when we had to start staying home on Sundays all together and he could no longer “go to church.” 

During this unique time, things have changed for us as parents and for our children. There are so many questions that we don’t have answers to. We know that the outcome of many of these questions is outside our control as parents. It is however, our responsibility to equip our children with the truth that God is FAITHFUL and that He is ALWAYS there for us. I know that I cannot do this alone which is why God gave us a community, but with social distancing, we have had to become creative. 

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/04/Image-from-iOS-8-1.jpg)

So you can imagine the joy I felt when I found out that Grace Kids was going to be online every week. It was fantastic to watch the first time Clark was able to see “Ollie” on the computer and hear the familiar voices of his teachers as they introduced the lessons during Grace Kids Online. 

It’s pretty great to see all the things he’s learned in Grace Kids over the past few years as I have gotten to watch him engage with the lessons and say his memory verses. My daughter Aurora, who is 7, loves to sing and dance to the songs and often requires me to sing and dance along with her making it a total family experience. I feel like I’m even learning new things about God as I watch along with them. I find it really heartwarming and encouraging for me to be able to chat with the other parents during the live stream and see that we’re all still in this together as parents and that our kids are still able to connect with their teachers and learn about the one who loves them most. 

Currently, our children are also participating in school online from home during the weekdays and many parents are working from home as well. Some weeks, my son Clark, has a call with his school teacher and classmates on Wednesdays and hasn’t been able to watch Grace Kids live with his sister. We understand that there are many things competing for our time during the week! This is why I’m excited to announce that Grace Kids Online will be MOVING TO SUNDAYS! I’m super pumped about this change and I think it will help us to be able to focus on school and work during the week instead of feeling like we need to rush to get everything done at the same time. Clark may still ask to re-watch multiple times a week as he does now, but both he and his sister and YOU will be able to experience the live conversations with your friends and teachers anytime by visiting [hobokengrace.com/kids. ](https://hobokengrace.com/kids/)

I’m so grateful that, even during this time of uncertainty, we have this way to keep our kids engaged in Grace Kids and they can keep learning about how God made them, how He loves them, and how Jesus wants to be their friend forever.

So join me and tune in to a new day and time as Grace Kids Online moves to Sunday’s starting THIS Sunday, May 3rd at 8:30am for Preschool and 9am for Elementary. There will be music, bible stories and activities! We will not have Grace kids this Wednesday, April 29th,

Visit[ hobokengrace.com/kids](https://hobokengrace.com/kids/) to bring Grace Kids right to your home every Sunday! Can’t wait to see you there!


Grace Kids Online


My first time ever walking into Hoboken Grace was Memorial Day weekend, 2019\. I’d occasionally see people walking up and down Washington Street with a Hoboken Grace t-shirt, or see a booth or flags flying at one of Hoboken’s street fairs or at a waterfront park. I enthusiastically swung open the door and stepped inside. To my surprise, the church was closed…on a Sunday?

As my journey of spirituality and faith waxed and waned in intensity over the years, I’d never lost touch with the personal connection I felt with God. I’d often find myself in conversation with Him, even if I was going through one of my “down periods” in attending church. By Memorial Day weekend, 2019, I had been actively seeking a new community of faith. Leading up to that weekend, my out-of-state girlfriend, who attended a Northpoint Partner church herself, suggested we try Hoboken Grace.

As a resident of uptown Hoboken, I rarely, if ever, had occasion to walk by 301 Garden Street. So, on that relatively warm Memorial Day Sunday, we zig zagged our way down from the northern edge of Hoboken, eschewing the Lime scooters in favor of a brisk, but slightly perspiration-evoking walk. Finally reaching the church, we carefully stepped a few feet inside the lobby, fully expecting to be met by an assortment of greeters, ushers, and members hustling around pre-service. Instead, it was silent.

I barely had time to wonder to myself if we were in the right place when, seemingly out of nowhere, a jovial, goatee-adorned fellow appeared in front of me. Pastor Anthony, as if expecting our arrival, introduced himself and immediately offered some words of appreciation for our effort, while explaining to us that we had arrived on the one Sunday each year when there are no services in order to celebrate those who serve as church leaders. He invited us to stop by the Memorial Day picnic the next day. We shook hands (remember when we used to do that?) and I told him I’d see him at the picnic.

The next day was a slightly windy but beautiful Memorial Day. After bidding farewell to my girlfriend as she headed back down south (yes, I dropped her at the airport; didn’t make her take an Uber), I ventured down to Maxwell Place Park and easily spotted the sea of orange. Looking around for Anthony, I found him mingling somewhere between the cornhole and corn on the cob. He at once put me at ease amongst a throng of strangers, introduced me to some of the Hoboken Grace community, and we struck up a more in-depth conversation than time had permitted the previous day.

The next Sunday I attended my first service at Hoboken Grace. A few months later I joined a dinner group. A few months after that, I volunteered for a team. It was a wonderful start to my first year at Hoboken Grace. What it means to be truly part of this community would be revealed to me sooner than I could have ever imagined.

Growing up, I regularly attended a church. I have always been grateful for the foundation my relationship with God provided. However, even as a child, I remember questioning some of the articles of faith (both manmade and within Scripture). This discomfort deposited deep within me as if stuck in the firmest bedrock and had always made it difficult for me to “mine” my experiences and share my personal relationship with God with others.

So, one Sunday at Hoboken Grace, I was listening to Pastor Chris speak about how to have conversations about one’s personal faith with people outside the church. It touched a vein. As the weeks wore on and I continued to listen to Chris share the numerous blessings reverberating throughout our community when it came to sharing faith experiences. So, I put my fears, apprehensions and self-doubt aside and decided to take the chance.

My closest friends are fellow Hoboken residents and are a non-practicing couple from a mixed religious background. They have two small children under the age of six. We’re blessed with a closeness that allows us to share the good times and the bad, be there for milestones in our lives, and spend time together fairly regularly. On a particularly unremarkable Saturday evening last Fall while at their house for dinner, we started discussing our plans for the next day. I mentioned that I’d be going to Hoboken Grace which was my new “usual.” Inspired by Pastor Chris’ encouragement, I decided not to stop there. I shared with them my personal experience at the church so far and how I thought they’d really enjoy the people, faith, and family atmosphere at Hoboken Grace. The wife announced that she’d be open to her husband and the kids “checking it out” and that it might be good for them. But, to my disappointment but not necessarily my surprise, she made it clear that as a non-Christian, she herself had no interest in attending.

Months passed and the opportunity to attend services together, or for them to go on their own, had not materialized. We all seemed to be out of town on alternating weekends quite often. Whenever we did get together, most often during the week, I continued to mention Hoboken Grace. I trusted God that when the time was right, the husband and kids would join me one Sunday.

Fast forward to Monday morning, March 23rd, 2020\. Most of us were working remotely in a post-coronavirus world, routines had been turned upside down. Accessing the news had become a “proceed at your own risk” activity. In the middle of writing a work email, my attention was diverted by the vibration and gentle ping of a new text message. Seeing my friend’s name in the notification window was a welcomed distraction since I hadn’t seen them in a few weeks as isolation and self-quarantine have become _de rigueur_.

Opening the text, I was immediately confused. The first thing that caught my eye was the unmistakable logo of Hoboken Grace. _“That’s strange,”_ I thought to myself*.* The message said, _“Your Hoboken Grace event is live. Join it now at live.hobokengrace.com._” My initial confusion turned to speculation. _“They_ _must have come across this from a friend,”_ I thought. They _obviously_ wanted to make sure that I was aware of the daily “[Anthony & Chris in the Morning](https://live.hobokengrace.com/)” video series and I was thankful that my friends would look out for me in this way.

So, I asked, _“Where did you get that?”_ Then, my friend, a non-Christian mother of two, responded:

_“I signed up for it. Need some meditation/prayer.”_

The power of the moment took my breath away. In nine little words, on the screen of my iPhone, I experienced the awesomeness of God living inside each one of us and being drawn out into the light. To bear witness to God opening the heart of someone I care about was an immeasurable blessing.

I am so grateful I didn’t say no for them. In finding my own way back to God I had learned the power of His transforming love and what sharing that love can do for others. Still, it took me stepping out of my comfort zone and sharing Him with the people I love and trusting He would do the rest.

Being part of the Hoboken Grace community helped me to find the strength and confidence to be a vessel for God’s grace and abundant love.

This is an unmistakable and clear reminder that I am, in fact, [_Home_](https://hobokengrace.com/home/#vision).


Don’t Be Discouraged By A No

Social distancing has changed a lot about our day-to-day lives but our family didn’t let that stop us from celebrating Easter in fun and creative ways. As churches all across the nation continue to suspend in-person services, finding ways of utilizing an online format continues to be a challenging way to connect as a community. But Hoboken Grace didn’t let that stop us from celebrating during our biggest day of the year.

In what was our most interactive online service yet, the community got the opportunity to use multiple social platforms to greet one another and say a little “hello” to those viewing at the same time as them. Going another step further, 16 of our band members put together a special home worship experience including two songs written by the band themselves. 

As if that all wasn’t sweet enough, Hoboken Grace was able to send out festive Easter care packages containing various items such as easter eggs, candy, personal communion cups, and an encouraging note; all of which served to uplift and unite our community. 

John Carluccio was one of many to tune in Sunday morning and said “I really enjoyed the music. It seems like it’s been forever since we’ve been able to gather together and this really helped, especially on a special day like Easter. I’m really missing my entire Hoboken Grace family but am so happy that we can find ways to stay connected!” 

That connection we’re so used to feeling on any given Sunday morning had never felt stronger than the moment we took to celebrate what Jesus did for us on the cross with communion. While you couldn’t take from the usual plates and cups located around the room, Pastor Chris and Pastor Anthony encouraged everyone to grab juice and bread that was sent in their easter boxes or something from their own kitchen and take it together. What better way to feel that you are not alone in something? 

Pastor Chris also used the special occasion to lead us into a brand-new series called “Lost and Found”which is an appropriate theme during this season. This new series is not only timely for Easter, but also useful any time by reminding us that while it feels like we may have lost the loving embrace of hugs, handshakes and hive-fives from our fellow friends and family on a Sunday morning, or the warm feeling of all being under the same roof singing songs together; we have still found a strong connection through God’s love. 

In the message, we were reminded of something very powerful; that no matter how dark things feel, God never turns away from us. Jesus cried out to His Father while on the cross because He had experienced God turning away from Him for the first time. While He was broken-hearted by the feeling of separation, He still went to the cross so that we would never have to feel that separation from God in our own lives. This is just one amazing detail in the Easter story that is more relevant now than ever as things feel uncertain and maybe even hopeless for some. But what better time to be reminded of God’s love than on Easter Sunday?

This may not have been the Easter we had expected coming into the new year, but together we managed to make it memorable. It’s great encouragement going forward because we know now that if this virus couldn’t stop us from experiencing Easter as a community of God, then nothing ever will.


Creative Easter Experience

A few years ago, I was at a bar with a friend who struck up a conversation with the bartender. They started talking about what brought her there — a few people from Hoboken Grace had wandered over after a [connection event](http://hobokengrace.com/events/) — and what she liked to do on the weekends. And then she invited him to church.

This was shocking to me not only because she had just invited a complete stranger, but because she’d made it look so easy. And it was something I could never picture myself doing. I’m practically a 10 on the introvert scale, and unless I’ve known someone for years, I feel awkward in most conversations. So inviting someone to church? I get anxiety just thinking about it.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/04/Easter-Social-Invite_1-1.jpg)For years, when Easter rolled around and we started talking on Sundays and in dinner group about inviting others, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat inadequate. On the one hand, I knew that as a Christian, I was supposed to be sharing the message of Christ. But I’m not great at initiating invites to brunch, let alone church. And the whole thing usually served as a reminder that I don’t have the social skills of some of my more extroverted friends (whom I’m incredibly grateful for, because otherwise I’d probably never leave my apartment).

To be fair, not all introverts are shy, awkward or antisocial (and extroverts can be just as prone to social anxiety). But generally speaking, introverts find their fuel in alone time, while extroverts thrive in being around other people. They process things and approach relationships differently. And while there are different levels of introversion and extroversion, most of us identify with one or the other.

But while an estimated one-third to one-half of us are introverts, we live in a world that seems to have a cultural bias toward extroverts, more often valuing charisma and action over silence and contemplation. Christians and churches are no exception — oftentimes, we celebrate the people who are comfortable sharing their story with strangers, who are incredibly friendly and hospitable, who eagerly sign up to serve, and, who, yes, invite other people to church.

As someone who’s more quiet and reserved than most people, it took years to shake the sense that my social awkwardness was some kind of epic shortcoming. It took years to stop feeling like being an introvert somehow made me inadequate — especially when it came to serving God. But as I came to realize, the Church is a body of people with different gifts, who can accomplish God’s work because of that. Introverts can serve God just as well, though they’re often in less visible roles. They might not be the people who are greeting on Sunday mornings, or standing at Connection Points. They are most likely not the people inviting random bartenders to church — and that’s okay. 

But if you identify as an introvert — or anyone who deals with social anxiety — that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invite that person you feel God is nudging you to invite. So how do you do that when it goes against your entire wiring? Here are a few suggestions:

**1). Think about the people you’re closest with**

So we’ve already established that you’re probably not going to invite a random bartender or someone you’ve just met. But there’s likely someone in your life who you might feel more comfortable inviting on Easter (which, studies show, is when people are most likely to attend church). Consider inviting a parent, sibling or roommate.

**2). Play to your strengths**

Generally speaking, a lot of introverts are more intuitive and better at picking up subtle things than extroverts. Maybe you’ve noticed that someone you know is going through a tough time. Maybe they’re the person God is nudging you to invite this year. And speaking of strengths, perhaps you’d feel more comfortable inviting them by email or text.

**3). Check your comfort level at the door**

Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, being vulnerable and stepping outside our comfort zones is what enables us to grow. And really, most of us — myself included — make inviting someone way more complicated than it is. The worst scenario is that someone says no. 

**4). Get out of your head**

Chances are, you’re better at inviting people than you think. If you tell yourself you have nothing to offer and that your words are ineffective, you’ll likely only continue to believe that. My extroverted friend — the one from the bar — says getting an invitation from an introvert feels more personal and intriguing than an invite from an extrovert. “The down side to being an extrovert is that people sometimes get overwhelmed by them, or assume they’re just one of many to get an invite, and therefore even if that person is special it might not seem meaningful to them,” she says.

**5). Find a place where you’re comfortable inviting someone — in your own way**

If you’re not comfortable with inviting someone right now (it took me a few years to get there), consider joining a team where you can use your strengths to do that in a less scary way. For example, through social media and the newsletter, the Communications Team indirectly invites hundreds of people to attend services on Easter. In addition, members of most teams at Hoboken Grace — Grace Kids, First Impressions, etc. — will serve on Easter Sunday, helping to create a welcoming environment for those who might be checking out church for the first time. If you’re interested in doing the same, check out [hobokengrace.com/teams](http://hobokengrace.com/teams).

_Brittney is a member of the Writing Team, and writing this was much easier than talking about it._

Also check out [Hoboken Grace Easter ](https://hobokengrace.com/easter/) page for Easter Services times and Easter invitations to forward to your friends and family!


Inviting for Introverts

As I entered what was going to be my 5th consecutive month of “monthly fasting”, I knew it was going to be the most meaningful one yet. Instead of being nervous that it was going to be my LONGEST one to date (that’s right, a full 12 hours), I had excitement inside of me. I was excited to spend the day in heightened reflection and extra prayer. 

I honestly never thought I would actually be excited to fast. But boy was I overcome with joy for such an emotion! Why was I so excited? Because it came during a time where I found myself stopping to pray throughout my day more than I ever have. I believe God was planning and preparing me the last five months to be able to handle this fast during what is already such a challenging time; the COVID-19 pandemic. 

We are in a time of confusion, frustration, and an overwhelming sense of the “unknown.” Personally, I have found this time to be so nourishing to my relationship with God. The type of nourishment I will never find from food. These past few weeks have been screaming the truth “GOD WILL PROVIDE.” For me, He has provided me with two major things: Gratitude and Prayer. 

Every time I encounter something I am grateful for, I am faced with a prayer for those who are suffering. For example, I am beyond grateful I can continue to work during the pandemic. I think of this truth multiple times a day and immediately follow it up with a prayer for those who are currently out of work or the stability of their job is unknown at this time. I am also beyond grateful for my health. But immediately, I turn to God to keep those who are on the front lines in the medical field safe from contagion, along with the safety for all those affected during this time.

This is the exact pattern that occurs when I fast. Each moment that I feel hunger becomes a moment of gratitude and prayer. Gratitude that I know where my next meal will come from and prayer for those who do not know the next time they will eat. I have also been faced with this while seeing empty shelves at the grocery stores during the pandemic. I reflect in gratitude for everything God has provided me; the food on my plate and the roof over my head. Again, this is immediately followed by a prayer for all those who are lacking in resources and who do not have a place to rest.

I want to leave you with two truths. In times like this we may think “I am not going to make it through.” But I challenge you to stop and remind yourself of the beautiful truth that GOD WILL PROVIDE. He has been providing for us every day, through every challenge, and He will continue to do so. Another beautiful truth, that comes to light during fasting, is that THIS IS TEMPORARY. The sun will eventually set and the hunger, that I thought was going to last forever, was in fact temporary. 

This pandemic is temporary. Our isolation is temporary. But God’s love endures forever and if you ask me, He has strengthened our love for one another during this time. I cannot wait for the day we can all celebrate these truths and rejoice, together. 


The Most Meaningful Fast Yet

No matter who you are or where you come from, we are all living through an uncertain time. But whether you’re working from home (“WFH” as the kids are calling it), watching Netflix in your pajamas or trying to find productive ways to fill your time, Hoboken Grace still believes that our community needs to be there for each other now more than ever. That is why we are so thrilled to share with you a handful of online options so that you can experience the love of God just like you would if you were still meeting on Sundays together,and hopefully you feel a little less alone in this time of transition and uncertainty.

* If you’re looking to fill your home with some laughs and prayer each morning, look no further than “[Anthony & Chris in the Morning](https://live.hobokengrace.com/).” This video series started this week so that Anthony and Chris can take a few moments of their morning to chat together and pray for anyone in need of it. This short video series will take place every weekday morning at 10:00am for those able to tune in. As they kicked it off this past week, Pastor Chris and Anthony shared a little bit about their care call with partnered churches and how cool it was to hear from everybody and how thankful we are to connect in this way, not just in our neighborhood, but globally.

* If you can’t get enough Chris and Anthony in your daily diet, you’re in luck. They will also be continuing their online series “Let’s Grab Lunch,” where they discuss the past week’s message and answer any questions you may have about it. All you have to do is join the chat every Tuesday on [Facebook live](https://www.facebook.com/hobokengrace/) and you can have lunch with the guy’s right from the comfort of your living room.

* Another new weekly feature now being offered is [Grace Kids Online](http://live.hobokengrace.com). This includes a video about a weekly topic as well as worship songs geared to get your children up off the couch and on their feet to worship God in a fun, energetic way. This past week’s lesson was all about forgiveness and used a story inspired by Matthew chapter 5 to illustrate how holding onto anger in our hearts makes it impossible to love those around us. These online segments will take place every Wednesday morning at 9:00am for Pre-K and 9:30am for elementary aged kids.

* Best part of all, you don’t even have to worry about missing your weekly dinner groups. We got you covered in that department too! [Dinner groups](https://hobokengrace.com/dinnergroups/) will still be taking place online at the normal time you would meet on any ordinary week. We feel that it’s important to come together no matter where the location, and even if nobody is in the same room. Relationships and connection can still take place through online.

* Lastly, like any other Sunday, our services will be available to stream live every week during the 9:30am, 11:00am and 12:30pm times. There will be no physical meeting at 301 Garden St. at this time. We believe that this is the most responsible way to love our church family and community while still delivering the message of God in the best possible way. We want to use all these online opportunities to show everybody that even under the circumstances, we are still committed to loving each other and being a place for everybody to come to in times of need.

A timely reminder coming right off the heels of our “Home” series, which is that our home in God is not just one place, but it is found in each other. Now more than ever it is important to be there for our neighbors, loved ones and community to show them that they are not alone and that comfort can be found in the ups and downs. So, join us online and we look forward to seeing how God will use these new to connect!


Staying Connected

As I walked into Ash Wednesday service, I thought I already knew what I would sacrifice for Lent. I had decided I would wake up 20 minutes early and do a Bible reading every day. I felt making that commitment each day would be a worthy sacrifice and would definitely help me prepare my heart and mind to get closer to God and get ready for Easter and Jesus’s resurrection. However, about mid-way through the service, Pastor Chris started saying how important it is to give up your “fleshy” desires to get aligned with God’s plan for your life.

What are your fleshy desires? According to Galatians 5:17, “The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”

All of a sudden as I was sitting there, it started weighing on me… I felt I needed to change my sacrifice for one of my fleshly desires. God put it on my heart that I needed to give up drinking for 40 days instead. In my head, I was like, “No way can I do this; I don’t want to do this!” However, God was speaking to me even louder telling me I needed to stop drinking for 40 days.

I don’t necessarily have a problem with drinking, but I do indulge 1- 2 times per week and it definitely clouds my judgement and emotions somewhat. I’m also tired and not as clear the day after. I thought, “Ok God, if this is what you want, I’m in.”

It’s been a week since Ash Wednesday when I changed my sacrifice for Lent, and I have to say, I already have had a TON of clarity in various areas of my life. I feel like I’m stronger and more assertive in telling people no. I also feel that certain areas I’ve been struggling in for a while are starting to work out.

Before, I used to struggle when my ex-boyfriend would call me when he was lonely and wanted to hang out. Now I’m finally saying no and putting up boundaries! My mom has made some terrible choices, despite her loving nature, and recently I’ve been able to speak with her and give her a healthy reality check. I also hosted a “Women Makers Panel Discussion” at work and was featured on Cherry Bombe’s social media, the largest publication of women in the food industry. Then I was thanked by one of my bosses on a global call for my work on a project I did.

It’s only been a week, but I feel so much more aligned with God’s plan for my life. Simply making the decision to follow God into what He was asking me to do has given me strength and discernment to follow Him in so many other areas.

Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

During this season of Lent, I encourage you to also use this time to get closer to God and seek His plan for your life. God wants the best for our lives and for us to seek His will especially as we prepare of our hearts for Easter. It may not be easy to give up your “fleshy” desires but in the long run it will pay off.

Roman 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose”.


Ash Wednesday

If you’ve attended Hoboken Grace in the past few weeks, you have no doubt heard about The Home Initiative which is an initiative to have our church family more rooted in the city of Hoboken and officially call this place our HOME.  
The initiative took a big step forward on Monday night as attendees of Hoboken Grace came together for an evening of appetizers, comfy couches, worship, and sharing. So many people shared stories about how they have been impacted by God’s faithfulness and how He has consistently provided for them during their time in Hoboken.

The word that kept popping up throughout the night was the word “trust.” The band wrote and performed a brand-new song that fit perfectly with the evening. Then, almost every person that got up on stage to share, said how they plan to offer up the gifts that God has given them because they trust that He will also be faithful.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/03/49620661258_3722e9f74f_w.jpg)Two of those members that shared were Nate and Natalia, who talked about how their planned giving hit a speed bump when life circumstances had unexpectedly changed for them. “Things happened that might make this difficult,” shared Nate. But he went on to say they had trust that God’s plan to use their money was greater than their own, so they would trust His plan, even if it was hard.

Later in the night, Pastor Chris shared his own story about Hoboken Grace’s origins and how his trust in God’s plan brought him to where he is now. About fourteen years ago, Chris asked Ana to marry him and together they decided to plant their roots here because God was calling them to serve Hoboken. This was the first step that ultimately led to what we all see and experience every Sunday morning when anybody walks through the doors.

All of these stories are the result of trusting God and following Him where He has called us to lead and believing that He will faithfully provide.

As attendees of the church, trusting in God is important when making a big commitment like this, especially when added to the everyday struggles of life. It is impossible to lead and follow in the footsteps of those who came before us without trusting in what He will do with our gifts.

Pastor Chris spoke about leadership when he told the story of a trip he took to Italy where he stopped to observe a field of sheep. There was a shepherd with a staff walking with the sheep and as he walked, the bell on his staff signaled to the sheep to follow. Then as they walked closer, Chris noticed that some of the sheep also had bells and that their bells were leading and signaling the other sheep to follow as well. Just like those sheep with bells, when we take these early steps of committing to God’s mission, we are signaling and leading those around us to follow also.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/03/49620660158_c398a53f2e_w.jpg)

As members of the Hoboken Grace community, we not only have to trust that our own giving will be enough, but we’re also called to be leaders in this next chapter of our church’s story. We must continue the work that God started 14 years ago when He called Chris and Ana to serve in Hoboken. God has done so much in that time and His faithfulness has been demonstrated in amazing ways! The story isn’t finished yet and He is calling us as a church body to step out in faith and help create something that will demonstrate the love of Christ to future generations in our community.

1 Chronicles 29: 10-17 tells the story of David and how he praised the Lord in front of his entire assembly for what he had been given. Verse 14 says “But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this?”

Advance Commitment night reminded us that everything in our lives is made possible through God’s love and grace. By making the commitment to give back to Him in generous ways, we will lead others to follow as well and ultimately further His kingdom in our great city.


What A Night!

After their baptisms last week, Jack and Sharem sat down with Hoboken Grace’s Story Team to talk about why they decided to take the step of baptism, who they shared this moment with and the advice they’d give others who are considering baptism as well. Our conversation with them appears below.

**JACK**

**STORY TEAM:** _How are you feeling right now?_

**JACK**: Warm. Warm on the inside. I had my whole world around me when I took this exciting step. It was everything that I wanted. I was so nervous — so, so nervous! The second I walked into the water, the nerves went away. Chris is such a brother in Christ of mine that he has guided me through this. 

**STORY TEAM**: _Who was up there with you?_

**JACK**: Family. Friends. Dinner Group. Profession. Grace Kids partners in service. Step Parents. Parents of my best friends who treated me as a child growing up. I had so many good people around me. They are always there for me — I just love them!

**STORY TEAM:** _What made you take the step of baptism?_

**JACK**: I have been waiting for this for a while. We lived in Charleston in 2015 and I thought about it, but I wasn’t ready. My wife and I came out of a really tough time and we found such solace and healing in God , and how He creates community. Last Sunday I felt like it was time. I have my favorite Bible verse tattooed here (points to tattoo that reads: “I can do all things”) and I woke up one day and I knew it was time to do what is important to Him. 

**STORY TEAM:** _For another Hoboken Grace community member who may be thinking about taking this step, what would you say to them?_

**JACK**: Ask the questions you are afraid to ask. Ask the weird questions. Chris says, ‘put yourself in the story’ and that’s so right. On the surface it does not feel that way, but once you dig into the story it is right. You learn how God steers, guides, molds and teaches, and that is what ultimately led me here. Don’t ever stop trusting Him, because He loves you — don’t forget that.

**SHAREM**

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/02/49576696202_9e5174692b_o.jpg)

**STORY TEAM:** _How are you feeling right now?_

**SHAREM**: I feel peaceful. I feel really good and happy.

**STORY TEAM:** _What did that first moment out of the water feel like?_

**SHAREM**: Really good. It felt like a renewal, like I am getting a second chance at life.

**STORY TEAM:** _How was following God impacted you?_

**SHAREM:** I am more committed to God and more separated from sin.

**STORY TEAM**: _Who was up there with you? How have they impacted your life and your decision to take this step?_

**SHAREM**: My mom, my dad and my boyfriend. They have kept me on the right track and they make sure that I continue to make the right choices.

**STORY TEAM:** _What made you take the step of baptism?_

**SHAREM**: So I can fully follow God. I’ve been thinking about going on a missions trip!

**STORY TEAM:** _For another Hoboken Grace community member who may be thinking of following God, what would you say to them?_

**SHAREM**: It is the best decision you can take in your life. I am very grateful that I was able to have this experience with my community.


Taking the Next Step

A night of glory

On Monday night, my daughter’s fifth-grade basketball team had their spectacular first win of the season, with my daughter scoring her first-ever basket in the final play of the game. She had only decided to start playing basketball at the beginning of the year and had been really enjoying it, so the moment brought so much joy to this proud father.

But what made it extra special was the fact that sitting next to me, watching and cheering her on, were her Grace Kids teachers! The game wasn’t the playoffs, the level of skill on display was at best “enthusiastic” and the gym was out of the way for both of the teachers. Yet they took time out of their busy schedule to come and cheer their students on.

How did this happen?

In nearly seven years of sending my children to Grace Kids, I had never really said more than a few words to the teachers and had always been focused on dropping the kids off and getting downstairs in time for worship or picking them up quickly so we can beat the rush.

About six months ago, I was asked to help Grace Kids to host a Q&A session on the Bible. It was my first opportunity to actually spend time inside the classroom and interact with our church’s children in a big group setting. I dare say I got a lot more out of it than they did, as they asked the best questions!

It was also one of the first instances in which I interacted with our Grace Kids leaders in a more meaningful way, witnessing the amount of work and persistence it takes to prepare and run the class – and they do it week-in-week-out.

It was sometime later, after I reflected on everything, that I had the realization I had been treating our Grace Kids teachers as people providing a service, rather than people doing life with me. And I don’t mean that I should have revered the position of teachers because they are preparing the next generation, though there is merit in that point. More simply, I mean that they, like me, are part of the Body of Christ and we are all just doing life together. 

I’m especially ashamed to say this because, as an Elder and someone on the staff of Hoboken Grace, I should have known better.

What happened next?

So a month later, we invited my two children’s Grace Kids teachers over for dinner. That sounded like a radical thing to do – but it really shouldn’t have been. Afterall, we have people over for dinner all the time! Again, it was only weird because I thought of them as service providers – not as members of the same community/family. We didn’t prepare anything particularly special – it was just a regular meal that we would have had; we just had to make more.

Sharing a meal together was a great way to get to know them on a personal level. We heard their stories and met their spouses and kids. In every instance, our relationships deepened, even if just by a little. I’m really thankful for that – for me and for my kids.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/02/48122971407_188385e7c0_c.jpg)

Let’s build a village!

So I encourage you to introduce yourself to your Grace Kids teachers soon (though give them grace if they are rushed during dropoff/dismissal). Treat them as a brother or sister instead of a service provider, and yes, invite them over!

Many of us are transplants to this area, and Hoboken Grace has become our second family. Many of us believe that it takes a village to raise a child. I certainly want as many trusted adults in my children’s lives as possible, especially as they grow older (and stop listening to me). But the village requires your investment – and who better to invest in than the ones already investing in your children? The village is so much more than volunteers providing a service – it is a community doing life together. So let’s build a village together!


Investing in Grace Kids Teachers

Numbers tell a story, and that’s especially true when it comes to your home. Square footage, for example, can paint a picture of just how much you are — or aren’t — roughing it in a city apartment. And the number of years you’ve lived in one place can also say a lot. So it seems appropriate that numbers played a huge role during Hoboken Grace’s first-ever Vision Night.

With the 12th birthday of our church rapidly approaching, Pastor Chris wanted to take a moment to look back on all that God has done since Hoboken Grace launched in 2008\. That year, the church consisted of just 42 people. The next year it was 52 people. Small growth, but growth nonetheless. In 2010 it was 110 people. Fast-forward to present day, and Hoboken Grace’s church body is up to an astounding 1,145\. Other numbers also tell the story of what God has done: Since 2008, there have been 392 baptisms, 2,346 people serving, and 3,519 people involved in community dinner groups. 

While it is amazing to see this growth firsthand, Pastor Chris also shed light on the reality of the situation. There just simply isn’t enough room to love in the way that’s needed for our entire church family and community. That’s why this past week we were all invited to take part in Hoboken Grace’s newest venture, The Home Initiative. We want to plant our roots in Hoboken OFFICIALLY. The Home Initiative is all about getting us to the next point of having an official space that we own and can share with our community. Hoboken Grace does not want to be temporary. We want to show the community that we are here to stay. 

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/01/49392591806_5dcf0ae598_o.jpg)

As the night went on, Chris dove deep into the meaning of the word “HOME” and just how much weight it actually carries. That home is made up of our hundreds and hundreds of stories. Stories that every single one of us has, whether you’ve gone to Hoboken Grace for 12 days or 12 years. That story is yours, and that story makes you a part of this family. 

As wonderful as it is to celebrate the past, we also have to be practical about the future. That means finding a space where we can continue to impact more and more. While your continued support and prayers are needed to see this vision through, we are confident in the Lord’s guidance. We hope you join us, because Hoboken Grace’s next phase will hopefully be its most exciting yet. 


Vision Nights

At Hoboken Grace, we celebrate this public display of inward faith in a BIG way. After their baptisms last week, Chris and Melissa sat down with Hoboken Grace’s Stories Team to talk about why they decided to take the step of baptism, who they shared this moment with and the advice they’d give others who are considering baptism as well. Read our conversation with them below.

CHRIS

HOBOKEN GRACE STORIES TEAM: How are you feeling right now?

CHRIS: I am feeling incredible! I am feeling wet, but I am feeling loved and embraced! It

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/01/49445394013_dbbe57a8d2_w.jpg)

was so incredible to be there up on stage and to just feel the love of my community around me. To answer the questions from Pastor Chris, as to where my faith is, the answers just came out so naturally. I am new to Hoboken Grace, and over the past few months I just felt God’s love growing greater and greater in my life and this \[baptism\] was the logical step to take, to profess my faith, and to do it in front of this great group of people.

STORIES TEAM: Who was up there with you?

CHRIS: I was with my parents, who are not members of the church, so for them to be here with me was incredible. I was with my wife and also my dinner group. Without the community of my dinner group, I do not think I would’ve been abl

e to make this step. I also felt everyone in the audience with me, too. People who I have seen before and people whose names I do not know…they felt like family in that moment.

STORIES TEAM: For another Hoboken Grace community member who may be thinking about taking this step, what would you say to them?

CHRIS: Don’t delay! I delayed. I talked with Anthony about doing this awhile ago and for whatever reason, I didn’t. I’d say, ‘don’t delay!’ Read scriptures. There is no reason for you to put this off and to wait. Just do it, it is worth it!

MELISSA

HOBOKEN GRACE STORIES TEAM: How are you feeling right now?

MELISSA: Relieved! I was incredibly nervous to the point that I was crying…I don’t like being the center of attention, so I am relieved!

STORIES TEAM: What made you take the step of baptism?

MELISSA: I turned 30 two days ago and I have been part of the church for almost three years (Easter 2017). I said, ‘You know what, it is time.’ I am trying to get more involved in the church, but I work Sundays. So even if it’s the morning setup, at least I am doing something. I feel like I have grown closer to God.

STORIES TEAM: You mention ‘growing closer to God,’ so what did it feel like coming out of the water today?

MELISSA: It felt like an incredible amount of peace, and very few times have I felt that.

STORIES TEAM: Who was up there with you?

MELISSA: My mom, my friends from my dinner group, and just people that I have met volunteering and along the way in church.

STORIES TEAM: For another Hoboken Grace community member who may be thinking about taking this step, what would you say to them?

MELISSA: Do it. Even if you are nervous about how many people are around, remember it is something you are doing for yourself and you are doing for God.

Click [here to learn more ](http://hobokengrace.com/baptism/) if you are wondering about the step of baptism, and going public with the decision to follow Jesus!


A Step of Faith

Over the last few years, God has been growing our children’s ministry at Hoboken Grace. Our Clubhouse rooms (K-5th) are packed and we had one of the largest Grace Kids’ Christmas concerts ever this year. But there is another branch of our children’s ministry that has been expanding too: our middle school group (grades 6-8). In just 3 months, we’ve seen the group explode from 4 to 12 students who attend regularly, with 15-20 incoming sixth graders expected for next fall.

We believe that each of our middle school students are a precious gift that God has entrusted into our church family’s care. And so we are excited to announce that we are re-launching the middle school group in the new year at a new time and location. The group will be meeting on Thursday nights at 301 Garden Street at 7pm.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2020/01/49241211861_e0a6a1bc52_o-1.jpg)

Our vision for this group is to continue to create a safe space where students are encouraged and reminded that their identity is found in Christ, and be discipled and encouraged through weekly teachings and discussions on what God says about some of the tough topics and questions that our kids are facing today. We also want them to build lasting friendships with each other and have FUN together. We want to create an environment where students will feel comfortable inviting their friends to join!

As we prepare to move the group to a new location and time and look to build our middle school leadership team,we are asking that our church family comes alongside us in this endeavor. We have already seen that God is on the move within this group and we ask that you pray for His continued provision and guidance as we take this next step. We also ask that you pray for the students’ hearts to be opened and for more leaders to come forward, with a heart for this age group and who are willing to walk beside our students during this crucial time in their lives and faith journey.

If you have a middle schooler and would like to be added to our middle school group newsletter, or have questions, please reach out to [Jon Ciccarella](mailto:jonciccarella@gmail.com) or [Catherine Laudone](mailto:claudone18@gmail.com).

And if you might be interested in joining the middle school leadership team, please reach out to [Rachel Ciccarella](mailto:rachelciccarella@hobokengrace.com) for more information.


An Exciting Expansion

The Fifth Annual Hoboken Christmas Exchange was this past weekend and we were blown away by the outpouring of love that was shown. This event was started just a few years ago to make sure that no child or senior citizen went without a gift on Christmas. The mission is simple: collect and distribute gifts to those in need for Christmas. We partner with organizations in Hoboken and surrounding areas to identify needs in our community and collect wish lists from families. Donors are able to “adopt” a family and drop off the gifts from their wish lists for the recipients to then pick up. This year, we had 660 total donors and 383 volunteers participating in this event! It was such an incredible sight to see.

Each and every single volunteer that signs up helps to make this event special. There is an atmosphere of love and excitement because this event is truly community focused. “Everyone is here because they want to be. People who don’t even go to church are here to volunteer,” remarks one of the “elves”. By the end of the day on Saturday afternoon, the entire space at 301 Garden Street was filled wall to wall with gifts. We had over 3,300 participate in this years exchange and what better way to kick off the Christmas season than with a story of genuine love and countless acts of selfless giving, it is truly amazing to see.

Before the doors open, two bright-faced youngsters are waiting outside. Nine-year-old Karas and his 6-year-old brother countdown the minutes until the doors open in anticipation. Karas stays warm in a jet-black Converse jacket he received here last Christmas. Though you wouldn’t remember that detail about him, you’d remember his excitement as he waited for the doors to open. Karas has asked for a dirt bike and shoes, his brother asked for a remote-controlled monster truck. The brothers wait anxiously in line with their mother and two younger siblings.

Cheers erupt when the doors are finally opened, and as they walk through the decorated halls, each one is smiling ear to ear, and volunteer elves run through rows of presents to collect gifts for each family.

It reminded me of the way the shepherds must have felt. The first Christmas was marked by the excited whispers of young boys as they ran off into a star-filled night to find the newborn savior. They were going to see something marvelous.

In just 36 hours, the Hoboken Christmas Exchange collected and distributed gifts to hundreds of families and more than 2,400 gifts within our community. Utilizing the 660 donors, and 383 volunteers who gave their time and money to help show God’s love to a stranger by being part of this marvelous event … but those are just numbers. The most important part of the event is how the gift of Christmas spilled out from that room and overflowed into the streets of Hoboken and beyond.

We get to celebrate the single best gift in the history of humankind by giving others a small taste of what it’s like to know Jesus. The Hoboken Christmas Exchange isn’t about presents, it’s about loving our community. It’s about bringing people together and meeting the needs of people within our community, it’s about sharing joy and experiencing the gift of Christmas together.

To those of you who gave of your time, money, and love to make the Hoboken Christmas Exchange happen, thank you! And to those who missed out, we’ll just say what the shepherds said to each other two thousand years ago, “Let’s go and see the thing that has happened!” And be sure to join us next year because there’s always room for more love.


The Gift of Christmas

The Grace Kids Christmas Concert is one of our most favorite Sundays of the year! You can feel the energy and eagerness of the children (and their parents!) the moment you step onto the fourth floor to drop off your little one. The kids are rushing to their classrooms; parents are smiling from ear to ear; and everyone is officially ready to celebrate the start of the Christmas season!

This year, we had 245 kids and 121 teachers participate in the Christmas Concert, and almost every seat at 301 Garden was filled. While there were – no doubt – moments of chaos in the preparation leading up to all those kids being up on stage, for those of us watching, there was purity and joy in seeing those children sing their little hearts out. It is incredible to think about how much children can teach us about the promise, excitement, and reason for the season.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/12/49190936861_509d920491_o-3.jpg)

“What an amazing day! It was so fun to see so many kids participating in the concert again this year. I love that each year, as we grow, we learn how to engage the kids even more in the event,” said Rachel, our Grace Kids Director. “We love that it’s a time where we, as a family, can celebrate our little ones.”

Sarah and her husband Michael are two of the parents who drop their children off at Grace Kids week after week. “We are so grateful for Grace Kids and the opportunity to hand off our two year old son and four month old daughter to the unbelievably capable and loving teachers from week to week without a moment of hesitation”. Sarah said, “It is such a gift. Having that hour to worship and actually process the message each week, we do not take it for granted.”

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/12/49190436398_2afa803d68_o-2.jpg)The Grace Kids Christmas Concert allows us to celebrate big with the little ones in our family. It’s a culmination of another wonderful year at Hoboken Grace, and we love that so many family members are able to join in on the fun by watching online even if they are not able to be there in person to see the little ones. Sarah said, “We were so grateful to share the video of the concert to a grandma in South Dakota, uncles in California and Delaware, and local family members who could not make it on Sunday. It is simply one more way to engage our community and encourage others to take a step into a relationship with Jesus. Thank you, Grace Kids, for affording us this gift.”

What an incredible way to kick off the Christmas Celebration! We invite you to join us this holiday season for our new series, [Simply Christmas](http://hobokengrace.com/currentseries/), as we seek to capture the simple and powerful peace that Christmas can bring to every one of our lives. And to learn more about Grace Kids, please click [here](http://hobokengrace.com/kids/)!


Celebrating Together!

After their baptisms last week, Jena and Betsy sat down with Hoboken Grace’s Stories Team to talk about why they decided to take this step, who they shared this moment with and the advice they’d give others who are considering baptism as well. Our conversation with them appears below.

**BETSY**

**HOBOKEN GRACE STORIES TEAM:** _How are you feeling right now?_

**BETSY**: I feel amazing. I was very excited and now I just feel content and proud of myself that I finally did this. I felt ready.

**STORIES TEAM:** _What made you take the step of baptism?_

**BETSY**: I actually felt I was ready a few weeks ago when I started my dinner group here at Hoboken Grace and I just wanted to take that extra step with God and build my relationship even stronger.

**STORIES TEAM**: _Who was up there with you?_

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/12/baptism3.jpg)

**BETSY**: My family, my mom came from out of state, my cousins, who actually sing here on the Worship Team, and my friends from dinner group. I also had my dad and my close friends who couldn’t make it, they were on Live \[watching the live stream\], and they sent me messages as soon as I was finished! And my brothers too, because I have family who lives out of state. I am grateful that \[Hoboken Grace\] has the Live option. My best cousin too, in Florida, she was online as well; everybody’s excited! I know they would have wished they could _physically_ be here, but they were still here with me.

**STORIES TEAM:** _For another Hoboken Grace Community member who may be thinking about taking this step, what would you say to them?_

**BETSY**: I would say ‘just do it, don’t wait!’ The minute you feel ready, just do it and take that extra step because your life is going to change forever. I feel like my life has already started to change, so I know I am looking forward to this new additional beautiful journey that I am about to embark on. I am also trying to set an example for my daughter as well.

**STORIES TEAM:** _How old is your daughter?_

**BETSY**: She’s 3! She has been coming to Grace Kids and she loves it! After the baptism was over she said, “Mommy! I am ready to go back to class!” so she went back to Sunday School until I was done. 

---

**JENA**

**STORIES TEAM:** _How are you feeling right now?_

**JENA**: I am just overwhelmed and so grateful that I had so many family and friends there. Looking back on the past two years and the impact God has had on my life and all the amazing friendships I have made with the people at this church is overwhelming. I feel very blessed!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/12/baptism2.jpg)

**STORIES TEAM:** _What made you take the step of baptism?_

**JENA**: I have known for a while that I want to follow in, and wherever Christ leads me now. So just seeing the other baptisms happen throughout the other weeks, I knew I could answer both of those questions wholeheartedly, YES!

**STORIES TEAM:** _Coming out of all those beautiful relationships you’ve built, who did you have up there with you?_

**JENA**: I serve on the Grace Kids team, with the fourth- and fifth-graders, so I had Jake there who is the other teacher, and he has been huge in my journey and my faith so far. Then I had all the people in my dinner groups over the past two years, just a great, amazing body of women who are there supporting me all the time. My parents came in from out of town and my sister surprised me! And some of the kids that I teach each week \[were up there\], so it was a good mix! 

**STORIES TEAM:** _What would you say to someone who is sitting in the crowd at Hoboken Grace, just like you, watching the other baptisms…what would you say to them to encourage them to take this step?_

**JENA**: I think the way my life has changed since I have chosen to follow Christ and not go back to my old ways has been amazing. The kind of transformation that He makes possible in your life is something that I would want everyone to experience. 

_If you are wondering about the step of baptism, [click here](http://hobokengrace.com/baptism/) to learn more about our “What is Baptism Class?” that is held on the first Sunday of every month on the 2nd Floor of 301 Garden._


Behind the Celebration

Divorce and separation are never easy.

So, how do we C.A.R.E. for our group members and friends who are experiencing the anger, pain and loss of divorce and separation?

### C.A.R.E.S.

**CRISIS –** _Understanding the Stress of Divorce or Separation_

Regardless of the reasons, divorce and separation impact every area of a person’s life: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, even vocational for some. To show you care about your group member going through divorce or separation, it’s helpful to understand the stress and emotions they may be experiencing.

According to a recent article in the Huffington Post, there are [Five Emotional Stages of Divorce](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-emotional-stages-of-d%5Fb%5F779816), similar to the stages of grief:

1. 1. Denial: I can’t believe this is happening!  
   2. Anger: What went wrong? He/she is so terrible!  
   3. Bargaining: I can’t handle this emotionally, so I will negotiate whatever I need to go back to the way it was before.  
   4. Depression: I can’t go to work or face my coworkers or my ex-spouse.  
   5. Acceptance: This is my/our new reality.

**APPLICATION –** _Practical Suggestions for Encouragement_

LOOK – Realize your group member might be stressed about the divorce, even if they say they’re happy or relieved to move on. They may be stressed if you notice any of these symptoms:

* * Lack of concentration  
   * Defensive or overly-emotional  
   * Physical exhaustion or illness  
   * Loss of appetite or excessive eating, drinking, etc.

ASK – Sometimes our group members want encouragement and support even when they try to appear strong and independent. So here are a few questions you can ask them:

* * How can I support you this week?  
   * How’s your family doing? How are your kids responding to your news?  
   * Do you have a good support system right now?  
   * Is there anything I can do to support you and your family?

LISTEN – Be available just to listen to your group member talk about the pain, anger, sense of relief, and stress of the whole experience. Avoid telling your own story re: divorce or separation unless they ask, or avoid stating your biblical stance on marriage- which could do more harm than good if they are not a follower of Jesus.

EXPRESS KIND CONCERN – If necessary, kindly express your concern if your group member is making unwise choices during this season by saying something like, _“I’m concerned about you. The choices you’re making don’t seem like you. Are you doing okay?”_

**REFERENCE** – _What Does the Bible Say About God’s Response?_

* * [Philippians 4:6-7](https://www.bible.com/bible/59/php.4.6-7): God gives us peace  
   * [Proverbs 3:5-6](https://www.bible.com/bible/59/pro.3.5-6): God will guide us  
   * [Ephesians 6:10-17](https://www.bible.com/bible/59/eph.6.10-17): God gives us strength

**ENGAGE** – _Next Steps for Engaging Your Group Member_

OFFER empathy and concern, but hold back on giving advice or stating your biblical stance on divorce; what they need is a friend to encourage them to make healthy decisions right now.

CONNECT them to a friend or dinner group at church who understands the heartbreak of divorce or separation or a trusted [Counselor](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/people/forms/2538?open-in-church-center-model=true). For support at Hoboken Grace go to hobokengrace.com/support.

SHARE the link to Hoboken Grace Online as a way to relieve stress.

SUGGEST they reach out to [care@hobokengrace.com](mailto:care@hobokengrace.com) if they need pastoral care, assistance financially, or other means of support.

PRAY for your group member and their family in this new season.

Return to [Care Guides](https://hobokengrace.com/toolbox/)

_Photo by [Kinga Cichewicz](https://unsplash.com/@all%5Fwho%5Fwander?utm%5Fsource=unsplash&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcontent=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=unsplash&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcontent=creditCopyText)_

### 


Supporting Others In Divorce and Separation

In March of 2016, I [left home](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/mission-to-love/), my job and a community I had built at Hoboken Grace to serve for three years with the Navigators student ministry at a university in Japan. I had been reading Bob Goff’s “[Love Does](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0078FA8HU/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1),” and decided that I needed to “just do something” to love people.

Loving people, however, turned out to be a lot more complicated than I expected when dealing with a foreign language and culture. I knew that I would be moving into a shared housing environment with Japanese roommates, and expected to get along well with everyone and make friends quickly. This was true at first, at least on a superficial level. But I did not speak Japanese, and understand very little of the hierarchical nature of the culture. I soon learned that my roommates held negative views of American missionaries, and while they were polite, they weren’t really interested in deep friendships. As the new member and “junior” of the house I had a lot to learn, and attempting to introduce and initiate change felt almost impossible. 

I was also surprised to find that it was difficult to connect with the Navigator team. In my previous job, I reported to a supervisor and performed as requested. In full-time ministry in Japan, however, I found that my opinions and voice carried more weight, which also meant that my values, convictions and strategies were often challenged. For a strong introvert who tends to avoid conflict and is sensitive to criticism, this was a tough challenge and character stretching experience.

Over time however, I grew to appreciate my fellow teammates and the experience of community. In a place with very few Christians, my teammates were all I had and we were forced to depend on each other. If one person needed a ride to the train station or another needed help babysitting, the team had to rely on each other. This allowed me to experience a raw and sweet sense of community that I never had when I could choose my friends. In light of our differences and brokenness, we learned to love each other well.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/11/20180615153739.jpg)

Having gone on short-term mission trips before, I have realized that they are focused driven, and with a specific goal and end in sight. With a three year trip however, you need to plant roots. And that is what I did. Although I did not speak Japanese at first, I began to enjoy the language learning process. Things that bothered other foreigners, such as the heat and humidity and constant bugs, I actually enjoyed. I slowly began to feel at home in Japan and almost felt like I fit in as a small piece of a large puzzle.

I soon discovered that my personality was wired in a way that helped my fellow missionaries connect and build trust with our students. In Japan there is this saying, ‘reading the air,’ and that means understanding what is not said. You have to sense and intuitively guess what people are thinking in order to understand what they really want to communicate. As I became more comfortable in speaking the language, I also found myself getting better at ‘reading the air’ and sensing when students felt uncomfortable or insecure. My natural goofball and lighthearted personality provided a sense of calmness and comfortable environment to our community. I think God used this part of my wiring to build greater trust among the Japanese students and our primarily American and German Navigators staff.

One of the biggest changes I saw before leaving was particularly in this area of trust. When I first arrived in Japan, there were five or six students interested in the Bible and very little trust between students and staff. As God opened doors to friendship with students and developed a trusting and comfortable environment, we had close to thirty students participating in our Bible discussions.

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Ultimately, I can say that I loved well and invested wholeheartedly into the lives of students. I know that there have been seeds of love planted through genuine friendship and the message of the Gospel we presented through our lives. After three years of sharing life together through traveling, sports, karaoke nights, cooking nights and simply enjoying each other’s company I know that I have left Japan having made good friends and having had an impact there.


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