Whether you are young, old, rich, or poor, death and grieving is part of our lives.

So, how do we C.A.R.E. for our group members who are suffering the loss of a loved one?

### C.A.R.E.S.

**CRISIS –** _Understanding Death + Loss + Grief_ 

The death of a loved one or close friend is one of the biggest stressors in life – it’s also a crucial opportunity to show care and support for your group member.

Grieving is a necessary part of healing, and healthy grieving requires the care and support of a community. But grief can also intensify depending on how people react to the person dealing with loss.

According to grief experts, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, there are Five Stages of Grief – and it’s important you understand these stages as you care for a group member:

1\. _Denial_: This is not really happening right now.  
2\. _Anger_: Why me? Is this my fault?  
3\. _Bargaining (with God)_: Take this away and I will do whatever you ask of me.  
4\. _Depression_: I can’t think straight and I can barely get out of bed in the morning.  
5\. _Acceptance_: I’m allowing myself to be sad and grieve with this loss, and I’m starting to experience peace.

**APPLICATION –** _Practical Suggestions for Caring_

_LOOK_ – Your group member might need some support if you notice any of these symptoms:

* * Forgetfulness  
   * Exhaustion, physically drained  
   * Withdrawn and lonely, crying bouts  
   * Loss of appetite or excessive eating, drinking, etc.  
   * Taking on demanding schedules to avoid grief topic  
   * Physical distress such as headaches, heart/chest pain, upset stomach

_ASK_ – Sometimes we ignore grief because we don’t want “to make things worse”, but the best way to care for your group member is to ask questions like:

* * How are you doing today?  
   * How can I support you this week?  
   * What are you missing most about your loved one today?

_LISTEN_ – Be available to listen to your group member talk about what he or she is going through and be present if they’re not ready to talk.

**REFERENCE** – _What Does the Bible Say About Death?_

* * [Psalm 147:3](https://my.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.147.3): Jesus cares about our broken hearts  
   * [1 Thessalonians 4:3-18](https://my.bible.com/bible/111/1TH.4.3-18): Jesus gives us hope amidst grief  
   * [Romans 12:15](https://my.bible.com/bible/111/ROM.12.15): It is good to grieve with our friends  
   * [John 11:34-35](https://my.bible.com/bible/111/JHN.11.34-35): Jesus experienced grief and loss too

**ENGAGE** – _Next Steps For Engaging Your Group Member_

_OFFER_ any help you are able to give (projects, meals, lawn care, pet care, laundry, travel arrangements, etc.) Send a card letting them know you’re thinking about them with a small gift card for coffee or groceries. Say something like this (copy as necessary):

* * So sorry to hear about your loss! Just want you to know we are all here to support you. Here’s a little something to help you get through the week.

_CONNECT_ them to the Care Team at Hoboken Grace. Email [care@hobokengrace.com](mailto:care@hobokengrace.com).

_SUGGEST_ they attend a Hoboken Grace service with you or watch it [online](http://hobokengrace.com/online-opportunities/).

_READ_ a book about death and grieving: [Helping Those in Grief: A Guide to Help You Care for Others](https://www.amazon.com/Helping-Those-Grief-Guide-Others-ebook/dp/B00LA9L6WQ/ref=sr%5F1%5F3?dchild=1&keywords=Helping+Those+in+Grief%3A&qid=1586893947&s=books&sr=1-3) by H. Norman Wright or [A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss](https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Disguised-Soul-Grows-through/dp/0310258952) by Jerry Sittser.

PRAY for your group member, for their family, for their “new normal” as they deal with loss and grief.

Return to [Care Guides](https://hobokengrace.com/toolbox/)

_Photo by [Daniel Gregoire](https://unsplash.com/@yeeeeeeha?utm%5Fsource=unsplash&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcontent=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=unsplash&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcontent=creditCopyText)_

### 


Supporting Others Through Death and Grieving

For the past nine years, Hoboken Grace has hosted an Easter egg hunt that grows larger and larger each spring. This April, we will have 36,000 Easter eggs and over 6,000 participants, making it the largest Easter egg hunt in Hudson County. This gives you an incredible opportunity to be part of significantly loving your neighbors! We want to give you a sneak peek and let you know how you play a vital role in that opportunity.[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/27A39633.24.18_Easter-egg-hunt_socialsz-300x300.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/27A39633.24.18%5FEaster-egg-hunt%5Fsocialsz.jpg)

Hoboken Grace’s Bridge Events Team works to create the best possible experience for everyone involved. This means informing and training the volunteers. It also means getting all the important details into the hands of participants to make sure they can flow easily through the various activities at the field prior to the actual egg hunt. The Bridge Events Team strives to be the glue connecting all the different parts of our community together; creating something bigger than any individual. 

Given the size and scale of the hunt, there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes. We work with the City of Hoboken, the Hoboken Police Department and the Hoboken Housing Authority to ensure safety and efficiency for all participants and volunteers. The Hoboken Housing Authority provides resources as we transform Mama Johnson Field into a massive Easter egg hunt field. The City of Hoboken and the Hoboken Police Department provide resources to secure the field location, to help with the flow of traffic and people and to make sure the event remains safe for everyone.

Lastly, you play a key role. Each of you is part of your own community, whether it is at work, in your apartment building or your group of friends. This is your chance to invite them to be part of something significant with you. Over a few short hours on a Saturday, you will get the chance to impact thousands of your neighbors with your community. All you must do is show up! How awesome is that?

If you are interested in volunteering, you can register [here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/people/forms/27888). Go crazy, send the link to a few friends or co-workers as well. 

We can’t wait to celebrate with everyone on April 13!


Bigger Than Us!

Ugh. I can’t sleep. There is so much going on at work that if something wakes me up, my mind instantly pops into gear and I start thinking about all the things I need to do and what I need to accomplish.

It’s cool how creative God makes our minds. Even when we’re not thinking about a problem, we can wake up with an “A-Ha!” (or Eureka!) and a creative solution comes to our mind. Even now, I’m thinking about a big change to the website that will fix a problem I’m having.

While it’s cool what the mind can do, we have a word to describe what happens when we wake up and our mind takes off. It’s called worry.

When I worry, I usually end up with less sleep, more stress, more irritation and less peace.

So I have a practice I am trying to use when I wake up and my mind starts swirling around with thoughts about troubles I’ve encountered yesterday or will encounter today. My practice is to use that time to pray.

I choose to use that time for prayer because I think it is a better use of my time than to worry. I also hope that as I talk to God, I will calm down and be able to say, “Talk to You later,” and then go back to sleep.

Paul writes to the Corinthians, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” And that is what I think of when I stop worrying so I can talk to God.

My strategy when talking to God in these moments is to start out by saying “Hi.” Then I say, “I’m coming to talk to you God because I trust you.” If you take up my practice, you can tell God how you’re feeling or thinking about Him. Maybe you want to say, “I’m coming to talk to you God, because I believe you can help me.” Or “I love you.” Or “I’m mad at you.” You can use your own feelings. Then I say, “At this moment I’m feeling stressed about …” and then I briefly tell Him why I’m awake. For me, it’s key that it’s brief so I don’t just make it an excuse to worry. I try to limit it to one sentence: “I’m worried about the website.” Or, “I’m worried about work.”

Then I talk to God about how wonderful He is. I tell Him that I’m thankful for my job. I tell Him how I have seen Him at work in the world. I tell Him that His creation is beautiful. I tell Him I’m amazed by His mercy. I tell Him I’m thankful for the leaders he’s brought to Hoboken Grace.

Then I go on to talk about other things. I tell Him that I’m worried about my friend who is battling cancer and ask Him to give her strength. I ask Him his advice about a situation I’m facing. I ask Him to help me to follow Him closely.

Again, I try not to dwell too long on any one issue because if I do, my mind will wander off and I’ll forget to talk to God.

If I find I’ve forgotten that I’m talking to God and I’ve started worrying again, I just come back to God and say, “Ulp. Sorry about that. My mind wandered away from what we were talking about. I’m back now. Where were we?” And then I go back to talking to God.

After a little while, I’ll tell Him, “Ok, well that’s all I wanted to say for now. I’m going to try to go back to sleep and I’ll talk to you later.”

As I explain to you what I do, I’m thinking I should also say “Love you.” And “Goodnight.” After all, that is what I would say to the people I’m closest to if I were hanging up the phone or turning over to go back to sleep; why don’t I say those things to God, too?

Well, at the end of the day, the practice is not an end to itself. It’s not important what words I use. It’s to remind me that God is present in all my circumstances and that He cares about me. It’s to remind me to include God in what’s going on in my life and to invite Him into all that’s important to me.

I find that this practice has made me more mindful of the love God has for me, and I hope it does for you too.


Prayer?

For the last few weeks, we have been telling you about the upcoming Easter Egg Hunt from our perspective. But, what’s even more interesting is hearing firsthand about the day from last year’s volunteers.

**CJ – Bunny Photos**

Volunteering at the Easter Egg Hunt last year was one of the highlights of my entire year. I dressed up as one of the Easter bunnies to allow for photo opportunities with children and their parents. It was a humbling experience for myself and the other Easter bunnies – we couldn’t talk and barely moved for several hours at a time – yet we were able to bring a smile to the faces of many families. Whether it’s volunteering in this capacity or another aspect of the Hunt, there’s perhaps no other event that we’re able to serve the community to the same volume and scale of the Hunt. It’s an incredibly rewarding experience.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/HGEggHunt-20180324-DSC_4970-1024x684.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/HGEggHunt-20180324-DSC%5F4970.jpg)

**Lonzell – Registration**

It was awesome being able to see the smiles on the kids’ faces! Seeing their joy and knowing that I was able to play a small part in making that possible was so rewarding!

**Stephanie – Face Painting**

I love interacting with the kids, and I love seeing their ecstatic faces when I (attempt) to draw something on their faces that they love. It is always a very simple design or picture, and sometimes it doesn’t look very good, but the smile it always brings to their faces lights up the rest of my weekend!

**Ben – Hunt Area Set-up/ Tear Down**

I’ve volunteered to help at the Easter Egg Hunt several times. I always sign up to help with setting up the hunt. I love watching the transformation from a field and a plan on a piece of paper to an amazing event in a couple hours. The planning and teamwork are amazing. Then the best part is watching the kids and families thoroughly enjoy the event.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/27A31573.24.18_Easter-egg-hunt_fullsz-1024x683.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/27A31573.24.18%5FEaster-egg-hunt%5Ffullsz.jpg)

**Megan**

The Hunt is one of my family’s favorite events of the year! The kids love it for all the fun, excitement and candy, but I personally love being able to serve and love so many people in our community and to see all the joy it brings to so many families!

**John – Bunny Photos**

Last year I volunteered as one of the bunnies. It was definitely something new for me, as I flopped around and had about a hundred little kids posing for pictures with me! I actually enjoyed the mix of emotions that a huge bunny rabbit sparked in these kids!

**Casey – Face Painting**

The Easter Egg Hunt is by far my favorite event to volunteer for. It’s amazing to see everyone come together to transform the field into the Hunt and once the families and kids arrive, it is high energy until the very end. It’s a great way to serve the community and the extra bonus is seeing how much fun the kids have!

**Join In!**

We hope these quotes inspired you to [sign up](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/people/forms/27888) and to also invite your friends or co-workers. This is an awesome opportunity to invite people to be part of something significant!

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/27A30253.24.18_Easter-egg-hunt_socialsz-1024x683.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/27A30253.24.18%5FEaster-egg-hunt%5Fsocialsz.jpg)

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/27A26843.24.18_Easter-egg-hunt_socialsz-1024x683.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/27A26843.24.18%5FEaster-egg-hunt%5Fsocialsz.jpg)


In Other Words


One of the things I always notice when traveling to Sierra Leone is how there are no lights as you’re landing. This time, as we headed toward Freetown, the drive to the ferry had some streetlights. Each time I visit, I see a bit more development in the country. It’s always encouraging to see that things are getting better there.

When I returned to Sierra Leone last month – for my third trip – I was also struck by the changes I saw in the Enable the Children program and the families they work with. When I first traveled to Sierra Leone with Hoboken Grace in May 2016, we were able to observe and interact with ETC’s staff for a day as they made home visits. The organization, part of World Hope International, provides physiotherapy and occupational therapy, care, as well as support services to children living with disabilities, many of whom are ostracized by their communities. ETC also works to reduce the stigma surrounding developmental disorders such as autism and Down syndrome.

Over the past few years, as we’ve returned and grown our partnership, I’ve been able to observe children who were in the program anywhere from a month to a year. I can see the huge difference ETC is making in the children’s and families’ lives and how certain therapy treatments have evolved.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/2019-02-1606.37.32-1024x683.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/2019-02-1606.37.32.jpg)

We started this year’s trip by accompanying the ETC staff on home visits, getting a taste of what they do on a daily basis while guiding children through various therapy techniques. While I already knew much of the staff, my fiancé, Tom, got to meet them for the first time. Having him there to share this experience was amazing because he was able to see why I’m so passionate about this organization and the work they do.

On the second day, it was time for the annual beach celebration. This is what our team helps with every year. While none of us are trained in speech, physical or occupational therapies, at Hoboken Grace, we all know how to celebrate. On beach day, we serve about 2,500 meals to the families that ETC cares for, in addition to making sure the day goes smoothly in other ways. The biggest part of beach day is setting up and ensuring that the food lines are organized. What blew me away was that ETC had already come up with a plan to have three different tents/lines to help with line/crowd control in comparison to last year. This is what I’m talking about when I say that the staff has grown immensely in what they do year over year.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/2019-02-1605.37.43-2-1024x683.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/2019-02-1605.37.43-2.jpg)

The third and final part of the trip involved taking the staff away for some rest and relaxation at a private resort in Freetown. We essentially watched their kids, taught some of them how to swim, and just caught up with them as a way to encourage them. For most of them, the first time that Hoboken Grace took them to Tokeh, it was their first time staying overnight outside of their homes. So, this time of rest and encouragement is a luxury — something we all do regularly.

I think these trips are really important for your perspective on what’s important in life. The experience is constantly shifting my vision, outlook and goals. Tom and I even started sponsoring a child together through ETC after our return.

I’ll continue to go back as often as I can. I love the people of Sierra Leone and the impact that ETC is making on that country’s perspective on kids with disabilities.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/2019-02-1513.10.38-2-1024x683.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/2019-02-1513.10.38-2.jpg)

_There are two upcoming Mission Trips that you can still be a part of!_

_Take your musical talents to Potter’s House in Guatemala or share some love with the children of Casa Hogar in Mexico. More information can be found [here](http://hobokengrace.com/mission-trips/) or feel free to email missions@hobokengrace.com_


I’ve Been to Sierra Leone Three Times Now. Here’s Why I’ll Keep Going Back.

If you’ve checked out any of Hoboken Grace’s events, you’ve most likely seen titles like “[Mission Imbocceball](https://www.facebook.com/events/742944842508952/)” and “[Game of Throws](https://www.facebook.com/events/331036534215649/)” in the Facebook event descriptions, followed by even more wordplay. Why use puns to invite people? And how did this all start? The Writing Team recently sat down with Anna, the creative mind behind the event puns, to ask those questions and more.

**How did you start writing the event posts for**[ **Hoboken Grace**](http://hobokengrace.com/events/)**?**

Whenever I’ve thrown a big party, the sweetest part is the potpourri of people — school friends, coworkers, family, neighbors and strangers — all having fun together. “The more the merrier” is straight truth! I’d always get excited to send an event invitation, but never imagined that simple pleasure could be useful in the real world, let alone a way to serve God and others. 

A few years ago, before I was interested in knowing God, I was going through what I now call my “quarter-life crisis.” Far from where and who I wanted to be, unemployed and feeling utterly worthless, I felt convinced everything in life was meaningless. Desperately seeking to understand the core of who I was and what an authentic life would even look like, I came across _The Purpose Driven Life_. This soul-changing book guided me to pursue some sort of “creative communications,” despite my finance background. Meanwhile, I didn’t know this search for “myself” was actually leading me to God. 

I’ll never forget the bittersweet feeling in my heart when I first became a believer. I was awestruck with the love and joy that comes with understanding God’s amazing grace. But that was coupled with an angst of realizing how rarely Jesus’ message is communicated in a way that inspires people to want to know Him. This juxtaposition of emotion happened almost within the same moment. I was a prodigal daughter ready to celebrate and instantly longed to invite everyone. I had been so lost, but now wanted to share what I found. With an open invitation to the dopest party in town, I wanted to share the good news with friends, even ones I’d yet to meet. People ought to know Jesus isn’t a buzzkill — He’s the host and literal life of the party! 

It just so happened the Communications Team needed an assistant right around the same time I stumbled into Hoboken Grace. And the rest is history!

**How did all the puns come about? Was it always your intention to incorporate them into the events, or did it just sort of happen?**

It was not my original intention, but it evolved quickly from a few things.

First, coming from a traditional, liturgical-style church where I’d be side-kicked for grinning in the pew, I’d never experienced how fun getting to know Christians could be. I think a lot of young people feel the same. While attending my first Hoboken Grace event, I was shocked to see churchgoers at a bar drinking a beer (or what Grandma calls “the devil’s juice”). I never thought my normal could possibly be _their_ normal, too. Finally, these were people who realized life doesn’t always have to be so serious! 

I used to wonder if God ever laughed. But back then my humor came in the form of flippancy and riffing on friends. Much later I realized how that only creates distance and hurt. So perhaps when you take a passion for playfulness, without a joke being at the expense of others, you’re left with fun alliteration, metaphors, similes and puns — after all, a pun is always its own reword!

Second, I’m usually more attentive and interested when situations are seasoned with a little lightheartedness. Humor draws people in, creates a shared experience and inspires joyful responses. A mutual smile really is the best medicine; I love how a little laughter can be disarming, contagious and communal. If giggling at a silly phrase on the latest meme can help me feel connected to something and improve my day just a little, maybe Hoboken Grace events can have a similar effect. A small invitation to a “Sunset Social” happy hour that says _“Don’t let life kick you where the sun don’t shine_” can paint that familiar image and offer up some fun as a “ray of hope” to someone’s week, while hopefully adding a little comic relief to this crazy cocktail called life. And I love animals but killing multiple birds with one pun is fun. 

**How do you come up with so many puns? Do you have some sort of process, or do they just come to you?**

If I told you I’d have to kill you…

Actually, when someone submits an event idea I start with a short, unfiltered brain spew. I type out relevant thoughts or words, pop culture references or concepts associated with the topic as they come to mind. Then I try to string the diverse pieces together into something that makes sense (my approach to most of life). And there you have it, you can now take over.

I might also have a strange advantage. Growing up, I had difficulty focusing and reading. It was discouraging to need a class called _Hooked on Phonics_ because I had trouble sounding out and interpreting words within correct contexts. Mike Myers said it best: I kept putting the em-PHA-sis on the wrong Syl-LAH-ble. I blamed it on ADD and the assumption I must be a slow-acclimating Chinese baby adopted by American parents in a British colony. But later I realized, if Philadelphia, New York and Boston can’t even agree on how to pronounce “water,” then language is simply whatever communicates an idea effectively. In writing, as opposed to speech, accenting words is a conscious choice. And so a love for linguistics and affection for wordplay grew. Now I laugh at how God used this to write my story. My past struggles were the perfect setup. And now the irony in how these events turned out is a funny, unexpected punchline — and those are the best kind!

**Do you have a favorite pun that you’ve come up with over the years? Or a favorite event post?**

Hmm, that’s a tough one… 

I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast, but don’t ever forget when someone mentions an event description was enough to make them or a friend want to go — those inevitably are my favorites. But the first one I was proud of was a football event around the time of Deflategate: _“We’re pumped up for this event! Hopefully the footballs are too…”_ On social media, when it’s possible to relate to something trending and relevant to more people, that’s gold. It’s also a fun challenge finding common threads between what’s seemingly different — like combining an HBO show with Ultimate Frisbee in[ Game of Throws](https://www.facebook.com/events/289994838017229/), and bringing new types of people together.

A few fan faves: 

[_Derby Day Soiree_](https://www.facebook.com/events/112888705778881/) _– “If you’re in the neeeigh-borhood you mustang out with us! So run an invite pasture friends and rein ’em in to stirrup the fun.” (Fun events like this basically write themselves.) Also,_ [_BBQ 101: Who let the dogs out?_](https://www.facebook.com/events/205550850064641/)_,_[ _Meat & Greet_](https://www.facebook.com/events/120494481675971/)_,_[_SciChella_](https://www.facebook.com/events/1650766935005449/)_,_ [_Hair of the Dog_](https://www.facebook.com/events/194001874538397/)_,_[ _TGIF the 13th_](https://www.facebook.com/events/255317164828576/)_,_[ _Shake it till you Make it_](https://www.facebook.com/events/340505703124387/)_,_[ _Movies Under the Star Wars_](https://www.facebook.com/events/234734770242493/)_,_[ _The Lady Brunch,_ ](https://www.facebook.com/events/328011194256937/)[_Bring the Light,_](https://www.facebook.com/events/1913167972285963/) [_MUG LIFE_](https://www.facebook.com/events/1995316040718913/)_._

**This is obviously an unconventional way to serve at church. What has the role taught you about serving and using your gifts?**

I’m pretty blown away by how this small niche within the church can have such a huge personal significance and potential for impact. I’m always thankful that a unique need fit a really weird skill set. 

Words are a gift and hold incredible power. They can make or break, love or hate, open or harden a heart. During that “quarter-life crisis” when I was most depressed and lonely, my mom would send me Hallmark cards with motivational words that transformed my mind. God spoke creation into life, and in a similar way, our words can create anything we want – belonging, joy, hope, meaning, love. That’s why we’ve all been called to find our voice and use that gift for the encouragement and inclusion of others. You don’t have to be a scholar to share your faith. A few creative words in a friendly invitation is all you need. 

I love how Jesus constantly invited everyone He encountered to just check things out and experience something new. Hoboken Grace events are an opportunity to do exactly that. The events are an invitation with the same message over and over — _“All are welcome. There’s fun to be had. Come and see!”_ The puns simply season in a little more flavor and life. Repetition is boring, but there’s joy in discovering countless ways to express that same idea within fresh contexts, helping people to know how welcome they are no matter when or where an event takes place. 

I can’t attend every event, but I don’t need to because Hoboken Grace is a community that shares the same vision, and spirit. Our hope is that these events help build an ever-expanding kingdom of friendships, while also adding a little more meaning to life — in more ways than one (fun intended)!

_“Our motive for writing is simply this: We want you to enjoy this, too. Your joy will double our joy!” 1 John 1:3-4 MSG_

_Subscribe to Hoboken Grace events on[ Facebook](http://www.facebook.com/hobokengrace/events)!_


Life Is Punny (Fun Intended)

Maybe you missed the chance to join a Dinner Group. Maybe one of these topics spark your interest. Or maybe you are a short-term commitment kind of person. Whatever the reason, we have groups that are about to start meeting for 6-10 weeks and it’s a great [step for your growth](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups).

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Dinner-Group_Starting-Point-300x300.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Dinner-Group%5FStarting-Point.jpg)

Wondering about God, Jesus or the Bible? Why not check out Starting Point? Beginning in January, and continuing every 8 weeks, we will be kicking off a series of conversations about faith. Starting Point is a casual, 8-week get-together of individuals just like you learning about their story and how it fits into God’s. It’s for those of you who are brand new to your faith, returning to it, or just have questions and doubts. It’s a safe place, without judgment, where you can ask the questions you think you’re not supposed to ask in church. Your questions matter. Your doubts matter. They deserve a conversation.

[_**Starts March 26th – Meets for 8 weeks**_](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups?group%5Ftype=74994&archived=&display%5Fmode=cards&tags%5B%5D=860442)

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Dinner-Group_Love-and-Respect-Photo-copy-300x300.png)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Dinner-Group%5FLove-and-Respect-Photo-copy.png)

Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find. This Short-Term Dinner Group is open to married couples in a committed relationship.

[_**Starts April 1st – Meets for 10 weeks**_](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups?group%5Ftype=74994&archived=&display%5Fmode=cards&tags%5B%5D=860446)

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Dinner-Group_Dating-Photo-copy-300x300.png)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Dinner-Group%5FDating-Photo-copy.png)

Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for?

Single? Looking for the “right person”? Thinking that if you met the “right person” everything would turn out “right”? Think again.

In The New Rules For Love, Sex & Dating, explores the challenges, assumptions, and land mines associated with dating in the twenty-first century. Best of all, he offers the most practical and uncensored advice you will ever hear on this topic.

Not for the faint of heart, The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating challenges single Christ followers to step up and set a new standard for this generation.

[_**Starts Week of March 25th – Meets for 8 weeks**_](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups?group%5Ftype=74994&archived=&display%5Fmode=cards&tags%5B%5D=860445)

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Dinner-Group_FPU-Photo-copy-300x300.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Dinner-Group%5FFPU-Photo-copy.jpg)

What if money doesn’t have to make life and relationships harder? What if the answer isn’t always more? What if you had a solid plan for the future that you actually followed? Join us as we engage our finances from a new perspective. Join us as we pursue true financial freedom!

[_**Starts Week of March 25th – Meets for 9 weeks**_](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups/dinner-groups?tags%5B%5D=860447&group%5Ftype=74994&archived=&display%5Fmode=cards)

Find your place. Dive in.

[_Sign up for a group here._](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/groups)


Getting Short With Others

Supporting those in our community helps make our community stronger overall. That’s why Hoboken Grace has a group of organizations that we partner with — to expand the impact that our own community is able to make.

This past Sunday, New City Kids shared an opportunity for us to support their students. On April 11th, they’re putting on an extra performance of their Spring Concert! So let’s pack the house! Tickets can be bought [here](https://www.eventbrite.com/e/new-city-kids-presents-upside-down-kingdom-art-house-productions-tickets-57223786887). 

In true Hoboken Grace style, we want to be able to connect afterward, so we’ll be hanging out at Jersey Social after the show. If you can only make it to Jersey Social, it’s worth coming out to meet the incredible staff and volunteers who are changing the trajectory of hundreds of kids’ lives.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/2018-Spring-Production-Photo-1024x682.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/2018-Spring-Production-Photo.jpg)

So, what is New City Kids? We had the chance to interview two current students and two alumni. Their words say it best.

Jahkyiirah and Jeremy are both ninth-graders in their first year of teaching at New City Kids. “I don’t like people, but this opened me up to change, to meet new people,” says Jahkyiirah, who teaches dance to 11 girls in elementary school. She now says she loves kids.

Jeremy had a traumatic move to Jersey City from Puerto Rico two years ago and says that New City Kids “makes me better with people.” For him, being a drum teacher helped him figure out what he wants to do and that he likes teaching others. When it comes to New City Kids as a community, he describes it as being a place where, “if things aren’t good at home, you can always count on New City Kids.” 

“It’s safe,” Jahkyiirah says. “It’s more than just an after-school program.” 

Alumni Nicholas and Jeje provided insight on the long-term impact of all that the students learn through New City Kids. Nicholas, an economics major, couldn’t stop listing how much he had learned from his time with the program. As a bass teacher, he said, he grew in character, improved his speech skills, learned how to make lesson plans and felt the importance of being accountable for your work. 

“It’s real,” he says of the program’s impact. “You hear of stuff like this, but I was involved. I actually care and am still involved.” 

He emphasized that those involved with the program pick up more than skills you can test or measure — it’s life changing, he says.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/nck-1024x683.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/nck.jpg)

_(Jeremy, current student, and Jeje, alum, during their visit to Hoboken Grace this past Sunday.)_

Jeje, a more recent alum, remembers interviewing for his teaching position and how the whole process was very professional. Not everyone his age was experiencing that kind of exposure to the business world, but he remembers thinking, “I want to make it.” At that young age, he says he wasn’t thinking long term, but he started seeing the importance of everything he was learning. Between budgeting, real-world schedules, applying to college and financial literacy, he felt ready to take his next steps.

Let’s do our part in helping to make an impact in the young lives around us. Come out to their [Spring Concert on April 11th](https://www.eventbrite.com/e/new-city-kids-presents-upside-down-kingdom-art-house-productions-tickets-57223786887) and hang out afterward at [Jersey Social](https://www.facebook.com/events/350424969017253/).

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Academic-Photo-1024x683.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/03/Academic-Photo.jpg)

**More about New City Kids:**

New City Kids has been changing outcomes for underserved urban youth for nearly 20 years. Founded in 2000, the organization believes that a holistic, educational approach has the power to impact the lives and transform the futures of at-risk youth in marginalized communities. New City Kids’ mission is “loving kids for change to create a community of academic, leadership, musical, and spiritual development.” It uses preventative after-school services with intentional mentoring and leadership development as tools to end cycles of generational poverty. Since 2009, New City Kids has helped 99 percent of seniors graduate high school and continue on to college. In addition, 90 percent of program alumni have earned a degree or are on track to graduate. New City Kids has helped the at-risk youth in Jersey City change their trajectories through employment, enabling them to achieve success in educational attainment, as well as upward economic and social mobility.


Changing Lives in JC

**The King and Queen of Connection Events: Jimmy and Rebecca Kissmer**

Jimmy and Rebecca joined Hoboken Grace in December 2016, just before Christmas. They’d recently moved to the area, leaving behind family and friends on Long Island, and decided, “Ok, now we have to stay here on Sunday and find a home church.”

“We specifically sought out a church that had dinner groups,” said Rebecca. “We had small groups when we were both in college. I went back to church on Long Island, which had the energy and had the modern-ness of the church we were looking for, but it didn’t have that community aspect.”

“We typed in ‘community church’ in Google Maps, we came to Hoboken Grace, and were like, this is it. This is absolutely where we want to be.”

Rebecca and Jimmy spent no time worrying about fitting in. They had their hearts set on connection and being a part of the community. Connection events quickly became a part of their everyday life. 

“We jumped in here,” said Rebecca. “It’s worth the awkwardness of the first few times or two to jump in and meet people that are part of your community, that are part of your family. You’ll start seeing faces you recognize and it won’t be awkward anymore.”

James says he liked that connection events provided an unstructured opportunity to interact with people.

“I like that we have church on Sunday where we see people and there’s time for worship, time for the sermon, time for hanging out with people,” James said.” With dinner groups there will be time for catching up and time for diving into what we’ve heard from the previous week, but connection events are a break from that and a time that we get to — in a very unstructured way — come together and enjoy each other and to build each other up.” 

Rebecca, a self-proclaimed introvert, notes, “I tend to stick with the people I know. If you start talking to a new person and then you see them on Sunday, you can meet a lot of people this way who aren’t just in your small group.”

In fact, it was a connection event that brought Jimmy and Rebecca into the lives of Elizabeth and Esteban. “We met them at the pizza crawl,” Rebecca said. “They’re a really good couple friend now, and Elizabeth is in my dinner group.”

“We’re actually moving to Charlotte in a few months and they’re from Charlotte. And so we were just trading – I know the good stuff up here and you know the good stuff down there. And we have an offer to have dinner with their parents when we get down there.”

As for advice that they might offer to others about getting plugged in, James states emphatically, “Jump in. Just jump in. I think that God has been working on my heart in a way – I’ve heard growing up about having your heart break for people who don’t know who Jesus is, and that was kind of a cliché for many years of my life and only recently has that become more real.”

“I don’t want people to know this because I feel obliged to tell them about it. I want people to know this because of the immense peace and joy that comes with it. I can almost say the same about dinner groups and connection events. I just wish that for anyone who doesn’t know what they’re like, for you to just jump in and see it first-hand.”

Rebecca and Jimmy will be moving soon , but as they put it, “Until we go, we’re here and we’re going to continue to be engaged. At some point we made the decision that we know we’re not going to be here forever, but while we’re here, we’re here. We’re going to be too much energy. We know it.”

Once in Charlotte, they will be looking for a church that has connection events. But, if they can’t find that they say, “we’ll bring that there. 

We need to do life together.”

See upcoming connection events in the app, on FB, or [here](http://hobokengrace.com/events/).


King and Queen of Connection


When someone in her dinner group suggested joining the Production Team, Yuli had no intention of following through. For one thing, she’d been going to Hoboken Grace for only two weeks, and she hadn’t envisioned herself joining any team — let alone one involving lighting and sound boards.

“I just wanted to come to church to observe,” Yuli said. “I didn’t want to be a part of a team.”

To a self-proclaimed introvert with no technical experience, the Production Team looked particularly intimidating. It seemed like everyone had known each other for years, and knew exactly what they were doing. Yuli had barely even touched a Mac. Plus, she was clumsy, she thought. What if she broke the equipment? From nearly every angle, the Production Team seemed like a place where she wouldn’t belong.

But the woman from her dinner group encouraged her to at least meet the team — no pressure, no commitment.

“I just said yes to say yes, and figured I’d get out of it later,” Yuli said, laughing. “My plan was really to say hi and then leave.”

But what happened next was completely unexpected.

“The moment you say ‘Hi,’ they make you a part of the family,” Yuli said. “Everyone’s so willing to teach you, and it doesn’t feel like you don’t know anything or you don’t know anybody. Immediately you feel like you know everybody.”

In fact, Yuli felt so welcome that she’s been a part of the Production Team ever since that day. It’s a behind-the-scenes role, where the impact might not be obvious, she says. But by making sure everything runs smoothly on Sundays — from the lights to the sound to the slides projected onstage — the team is instrumental when it comes to creating an atmosphere where people can feel closer to God, with minimal distractions. Plus, she says, it’s perfect for an introvert who likes to hide in the back.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2017/12/PRODUCTION_TEAM-SCREENSHOTS-7.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2017/12/PRODUCTION%5FTEAM-SCREENSHOTS-7.jpg)

From the production booth, Yuli helps create the visuals seen on stage, choosing moving background images for each song. She also coordinates with whoever is working the lights that day, ensuring that each color and pattern synchronizes with what the Worship Team is doing and the mood of each set. Thanks to others on the team, it’s a skill that was much easier to learn than expected.

Asked how her life has changed since she began serving, Yuli says her relationships with God and the people around her have both improved. While she originally wanted to be more of an observer than a participant at church, she’s come to love serving and seeing how the Production Team helps people find their way back to God. That might mean taking someone new under their wing or creating an atmosphere on Sunday mornings that feels warm and inviting — not unlike the way the team made her feel.

“They’re so welcoming and warm and loving. … It pours out when they’re working,” Yuli said.

She encourages everyone to check out the team, even if you have no intention of joining.

“Even if you’re just coming to say ‘Hi,’ come to say ‘Hi,’” she said. “Because it’ll change you.”

Come say Hi and shadow at a rehearsal!

_[Team Link is this Sunday!](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/202084) 4-5pm at 301 Garden Street. Childcare provided. Your chance to meet multiple teams!_


The Team She Never Thought She’d Join

The Hoboken Grace Easter Egg Hunt is a short six weeks away. This is the perfect time to reflect on last year’s hunt, which was epic. To set the stage, Hoboken received over a foot of snow on the Monday before the hunt. In partnership with the Hoboken Housing Authority, we worked to plow the field to make the hunt possible. Unfortunately, it was a heavy snow and it created big piles that surrounded the field, taking up valuable space. Snow wasn’t going to stop us, though. A few brave volunteers went out and shoveled on Friday to clean up a few areas even more. The attendees were amazed and excited at how far we would go to make sure the event continued as planned!

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/02/EEH3Picture1.png)

The morning of the hunt brought plenty of hustle and bustle. We were expecting over 6,000 people across two separate hunts, and that meant a lot of preparation. Thankfully, over 250 people signed up to volunteer throughout the day and they did an amazing job. They unloaded over 75 cases of water and over 125 bales of straw. Then to top it all off, we had to hide 30,000 Easter eggs.

After the event, words like epic and amazing were used to describe the hunt. Those words still apply, but we also have new words that emerged over the last year.

The first word coming to mind is stories. In the week following the hunt, I regularly heard stories about volunteers who went above and beyond at their stations to make sure everyone felt loved. A greeter high-fived every person who came through the gate. The stroller parking team battled limited space, yet still made sure every stroller was returned to the owner. The hospitality team worked with the Hoboken Housing Authority to run extension cords after we tripped a breaker from the coffee pots. Sure, the event was one big story, but these individual stories are what make it significant.

The second word is community. This word gets thrown about regularly and sometimes loses its meaning. Individuals came together as one community to pull off something this amazing. The participants expanded community by showing appreciation. Through it, connections were made, and friendships were formed. People came to church and came to know Jesus because of the love shown at the Easter Egg Hunt. Community is about togetherness. It’s about meeting your neighbor and building bridges so we can all be there for each other.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/02/EEH2Picture1.png)

Heading into this year’s hunt, I hope to see many of the same themes, except of course the snow. The Bridge Events Team is committed to putting in the hours of planning. We are counting on you to invite your friends out to serve or to participate. Check out the full details on our [website](http://hobokengrace.com/egghunt/).


An Egg Hunt To Remember


Four months after Hurricane Michael roared ashore in Florida, becoming one of the most powerful hurricanes to ever make landfall in the United States, residents and businesses are continuing to rebuild. The Category 4 storm devastated the Florida Panhandle, reducing houses, schools and churches to rubble.

So this spring, be a part of the team from Hoboken Grace that will spend five days assisting in the recovery efforts. Whether it’s helping to rebuild, clean up or provide supplies, the team will bring the manpower that is still desperately needed.

From March 25-30, the team will partner with a church about an hour outside Tallahassee, assisting in debris cleaning, aiding the community and helping to rebuild part of the church.

Like last year’s Puerto Rico trip after Hurricane Maria, team members will be assigned different tasks each day and move from project to project, depending on what’s needed.

“The activity could change each day, and the relief that we’re providing could change,” says Shelby, who went to Puerto Rico last year and is leading the Florida trip.

For Shelby, the trip hits close to home. She is originally from south Florida and attended school near Tallahassee. And after assisting in the recovery efforts in Puerto Rico, she knows how much of an impact the team can make.

In addition, she says, mission trips are a huge growth opportunity.

“It changes your relationship with Christ in a way that I can’t even begin to fathom,” she says. “Every person I’ve talked to that’s gone on a trip has said it’s greatly impacted their relationship and it’s greatly impacted how they see things. … You see things so differently after.”

Those interested in the trip can email questions to [missions@hobokengrace.com](mailto:missions@hobokengrace.com) or check out [Hoboken Grace’s Missions page](http://hobokengrace.com/mission-trips/), where you can register for the trip.


Why We’re Going to Florida This Spring


Once a year we take a night to free ourselves of distraction and spend time with God. What is it and why do we do this?

For some, hearing that music can act as “worship” might be confusing, and for others, it may be a habit that isn’t given much thought. So, why is it that we sing on Sundays? Why is music part of what we do?

For John, who has served as a vocalist on the team for about a year, music plays a pivotal role in his ability to connect with God.

“During a past event like this I was going through a lot of stuff, in a dark place and feeling overwhelmed,” he says. “I wasn’t sure what to think or what to do. And then they started singing ‘Oceans,’ one of my favorites.”

Even though it’s a popular song, it hadn’t been part of Sundays for awhile, so this came as a surprise to John.

“It was the first time I felt God was really answering my prayer,” he says. “I started crying, then laughing and crying. I was reminded God is here with me through all my struggles, and it was that song He used to speak to me. That’s the power of music.”

**But, why devote a whole night to music?**

“We all worship in different ways,” John says. “Maybe you’re not going to be the person lifting your hands, but it can be a time for you to spend in prayer in a conversation with God.”

_Hannah, who serves as a leader on the Worship Team, describes music as “a gift He’s given all of us.”_

“Worship is not just about singing and music,” says Hannah. “Even if you’re not comfortable singing, I’d encourage you to come because God uses these moments to draw our hearts to Him.”

It’s also a time when you can be fully focused on being with Christ, she adds.

“We can do that all the time, but there’s something powerful in being able to do that with our family, our community.”

“Music is simply a tool for responding to all Christ has done for us, it’s like engaging and meditating on His Word,” she says. “He created music and enjoys music. You can see it throughout scripture.”

_Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! Worship the Lord with gladness. Come before Him, singing with joy. – Psalms 100_

God uses music to speak to us. Over the years, members of the band started writing songs- things they felt God was showing and teaching them in their own lives and in the lives of our community. Dana, the Arts Director, saw this and realized how important it was for the team to come together in the writing process. Together, they completed several original tracks and made an album that was released last year. Some originals, plus your Sunday favorites will be part of Worship Night.

_See you there! [Worship Night](https://www.facebook.com/events/279759342712936/) is February 22nd at 8pm – 301 Garden Street_


Worship Night…Is All Music?


I’m glad you asked!

In short, it’s an hour where you will have access to all our teams and their leaders. Pastor Chris will kick off the event, you’ll mingle between each team’s table as you learn more about what each team does. Then, after about 30 minutes you can pick a team you want to belong to and start making your impact.

The whole story?

Everything Hoboken Grace does revolves around our mission – to help people find their way back to God. And it takes a LOT of people to make that mission possible. People with all sorts of skills, talents, and passions. Every person is a necessary piece in impacting the world around us. Each of us are called to love our neighbor.

Currently, if you want to find a team and find which one is the best fit for you, you won’t have every team in one room.

At Team Link, this is the first time you’ll have access to all the teams, be able to talk to leaders from those teams, and gain a firm understanding of what it means to join in on this mission. Plus, each team has several different roles within, so really the possibilities are somewhat endless.

…But, I want more details!

Perfect.

**First, you’ll [register here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/202084).**

You’ll let us know if you’re new to serving on a team, or whether you’re already on a team and accompanying someone for moral support. We encourage that too! We understand starting something new can be intimidating, so a buddy is more than welcome. Just be sure you both register, so we can prepare for you. (If you decide to attend at the last minute, we will accept registrations at the door.)

_Childcare will be provided. Just indicate if you plan on taking advantage of that on your registration._

**Mark your calendar.**

February 24th from 4pm to 5pm. One hour. Sunday. It’ll be in the same space we meet on Sundays at 301 Garden Street, but it’ll be completely transformed. Where there’s usually chairs, there will be large, round tables. Each representing one team and filled with people from that team. Giving you a chance to speak to at least one person from each team.

**Read about the teams ahead of time.**

If you’re living in this area, chances are, you’re an over-achiever and want some info beforehand. So, [here’s the rundown of the different teams](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2019/02/Serve-2019-Booklet%5FSmall-3.pdf). There are nine categories, and within each are multiple roles, sometimes multiple sub-teams. There’s no bad team to join. But, sometimes a team might not be the best fit for you, and that’s to be expected. Each of us has different gifts, different time commitments, and different passions. That’s why this event is going to be so crucial in finding your best fit for where you can make the most impact.

**Show up.**

Team Link is going to be buzzing with energy of people who want to make a difference. Pastor Chris will kick off the event and then the leaders will be ready to talk further about the week-to-week of their teams. Each team will have more information ready for you at the event. You can ask them any questions you have. Then, move on to the next team. You’ll have about 30 minutes to bounce around the tables.

**Jump in.**

After that 30 minutes, you should have a pretty good idea of which team you want to join. The leaders will let you know when their next orientation is, and swap contact info. Now, all you have to do is jump in!

**Make an impact.**

The most exciting part of Team Link is connecting people who want to make an impact to all the ways available to do just that. It’s all about loving people and impacting the world.

We can’t wait to see you at [Team Link](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/202084). And can’t wait to see how God will use you to impact His mission.


What Is Team Link?

The first time I set foot into 301 Garden, it was Hoboken Grace’s 10th birthday. I didn’t have a clear idea of who God was at the time, but my roommate served on the Production Team and convinced me this was a great day to go see what Hoboken Grace was all about — and also spilled the beans that there would be confetti cannons. I wasn’t sure how I felt about going to church, but I knew I liked confetti and celebrations.

As I walked through the doors by myself for the first time, unsure if this was even right for me, I remember so many smiling faces greeting me and making me feel like I was a friend from the start. Coming from the South, you have this assumption that “Northerners” don’t show that Southern hospitality you are used to. It caught me off guard when people would introduce themselves and ask me about myself, not for their benefit or curiosity, but because they genuinely wanted to get to know me. Someone pointed me in the direction of the coffee and bagels, and I found a seat in the back of the church, doing my best not to sit too close to anybody else and forcing awkward conversation.

When Pastor Chris came on stage, one of the first things he did was introduce himself, which I found thoughtful because he didn’t assume everyone knew him. He talked about living a life that is significant, a life deeper than earthly pleasures, a life where we walk with Jesus. Going over Matthew 16:13-18, he reiterated the question “Who do you think Jesus is?” Sitting in my seat, I realized I had no clue who He is. I had been told a lot of lies about Jesus, but no one ever bothered to tell me the truth. No one told me about His endless love and grace. I found out about Jesus through everyone I came in contact with at Hoboken Grace; they all reflected something deeper than this superficial life I was living. I wanted to be like them!

I never felt qualified or good enough to receive God’s love and forgiveness. I hadn’t prayed in years, but I remember sitting in that service and saying to myself, “Okay, God. If you really are as powerful as these people believe, then be it your will to change my heart, because there’s no way that I can do it on my own.” I prayed that same prayer for weeks.

A month later, I joined Grace Kids. Through the videos and stories we teach the kids, I started learning the Bible stories along with them. I don’t remember the exact moment when I accepted Jesus, but I remember feeling full where I previously felt empty. My thoughts started to become more selfless and I started to put others before myself. My heart became softened when I previously felt like it was a rock-solid chunk of ice. All the plans I had made for my life were falling apart, and I decided to give it over to the One who knows what’s best for me.

As soon as I made that decision, my life felt like it was just beginning. I got baptized in July and started working with Hoboken Grace in August. When I moved to New Jersey a little over a year ago, I had no idea that it was God’s will for me to be here and to grow in Him the way I had.

I may have walked through those red doors the first day for the confetti cannons, but I stayed for the love I found in my community and our God. I don’t know how I ever lived my life without Him previously, but I know I won’t ever live without Him moving forward.

I’m excited to see what God has in store for us here at Hoboken Grace!

_Join us as we celebrate all God’s done these past 11 years!_  
_301 Garden Street_  
_9:30am | 11:00am | 12:30pm_


From One Birthday to the Next

The end of January is almost here, and you may think it’s too late for those New Year’s resolutions. But regardless of what the calendar says, it’s never too late to work on your goals.

This past weekend, about 20 people gathered for a one-day conference in Montclair to outline a vision plan for 2019\. Hosted by Devin, who has attended Hoboken Grace for the past few years, the retreat also touched on how to follow through on your goals and how to keep them at the forefront of your life. 

The Writing Team recently chatted with Devin about the conference, as well as some tips for goal setting.

**The Power of Intentionality**

Devin started the day with a short introduction and asked attendees a question he’s been asking himself: “What does it look like to grow towards the call God has for my life?”

“A slow and quiet revelation of who I am and what I have been called to has emerged out of the pursuit of this question,” he says.

When starting to make a goal, Devin suggests starting with a broad idea. You take the dream, bring it down to a vision and then get very specific with your goals.

Simply setting a goal — and establishing a plan to see it through — requires intentionality. The retreat gave many the time to step away from their phones and other distractions and think deeper about their goals. In doing so, some found that in order to get to their future goals, they had to take care of some other goals first. Which brings us to…

**Our Life Is Connected**

Devin explains that through coaching he’s received, he realized he was being crushed by pursuing goals in one area of his life and ignored what he was neglecting. If you think of the different sections of your life as part of a wheel that consists of goals in different departments –career, financial, spiritual, physical, intellectual, family and friends — each needs to be attended to with care for the circle to roll. If one outweighs the others, you will be crushed by a wheel (life) that is uneven, he says.

In taking the time to sit and think of the connectedness of our goals and our lives, those areas that needed attention became clearer to some. Devin says that in goal setting, we may need to step away from future goals to take care of other goals first. Diving deeper into God’s word and spending more time in prayer to build a solid foundation is an example of that. “Laying the foundation is so important, as we can see in the story in Matthew 7,” Devin says. “We can’t control the circumstance, but we can control where we build.”

**Accountability**

Finding people you can share your goals with and who can check up on you are important to the process of goal setting. For many at the retreat, finding those people became one of their goals. 

“Find people you can learn from and people you can walk with,” Devin says.

“If I don’t have someone to do something with, I’ll never get anything done,” he adds. 

Having that community is important for many reasons. “If you’re in a rut, you need to hear from other people, that’s ok,” Devin says.

Those people can help remind you of who you are and how God continues to pursue you.

Keep Going. Goal setting takes persistence. It’s a messy business, but if we wait to begin we’ll never get anything done. And as we’ve been walking through Hoboken Grace’s Vision series, we’ve seen that God has a vision for us, too — one that is more focused on who we are becoming.

And if you fail? Devin suggests focusing on what has been working, not what you don’t accomplish.

“Look at how God has been faithful,” he says.

And even though the calendar is inching toward February, you still have plenty of time. 

“Set yourself up for success this year,” Devin says. “Make sure this year’s goals aren’t next year’s goals.” 


3 Tips On Goal Setting

After growing up in the foster care system, Heather was left with the feeling that God had abandoned her. It was one of the most difficult periods of her life, she says, one filled with more bad experiences than good ones.

Years later, when her friend Meghan introduced her to Hoboken Grace, Heather had more than a few reasons to turn down the invitation. In addition to feeling abandoned, she was “anti-church,” she says. Heather was also afraid of feeling judged.

“I struggled my whole life with depression, and I was concerned about people judging me at church for being a single mom,” said Heather, whose daughter Hailey is now 5\. 

When she decided to give Hoboken Grace a try, it was the people she encountered, and the way they made her feel, that kept her coming back.

“I was in a dark place when I started attending church, but being greeted by someone smiling at the door was a feeling that boosted my spirits,” she says.

She even signed up for one of the [church’s dinner groups](http://hobokengrace.com/dinnergroups/dinnergroups/), a family group where kids were welcome. The idea of spending time with other families each week was refreshing, she says, and she started attending regularly. 

“It may sound corny, but being a former foster kid, they were so nice and welcoming to me,” she says.

The group’s weekly gatherings became a safe place where Heather could talk about some of her past hurts — and find healing in them. Her faith has become her reason for getting out of bed each morning, she says. And feeling the constant support of her dinner group, as well as others at Hoboken Grace, has put most of her loneliness away. 

Last month, family and friends surrounded Heather as she took the step of getting baptized. Part of her motivation, she says, was the realization that it’s “progress, not perfection,” that’s important in your walk with God. 

“Thank you to all of my friends, and everyone at Hoboken Grace for supporting me, and showing me that I deserve love, and that I am wanted,” she wrote on Facebook afterwards.

Heather says she never thought her life would be filled with so much joy, friendships and people who love her. It’s a feeling she now wants to share with others.

“I want to help people who suffered with a childhood of foster care,” she says. “If I can make an impact in someone else’s life like how Hoboken Grace gave me my life back, then I can make a difference in others’ lives.”

[Check out Hoboken Grace’s dinner groups today](http://hobokengrace.com/dinnergroups/dinnergroups/)!


When Love Exceeds Expectations

Resolutions are one of those things people seem to love or hate.

Love is a strong word, but as a frequent journaler, I get pretty into them. I’m not talking about your ordinary “go to the gym” resolutions, though — I’ve never been able to follow through on those.

I have what I call annual “do something” goals. Each year, I aim to do at least one thing I’ve never done before, go somewhere I’ve never gone before and eat something I’ve never eaten before. The best thing about this is you don’t have to try very hard to make that happen. I like to fill out the list throughout the year, adding experiences as they come. They don’t have to be far-flung or exotic — just new. I love looking back at the lists as a reminder of how I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone and expanded my horizons.

Then there are the more structured goals I come up with each January: do this, prioritize that, get better at these five things. Over the years, I’ve learned to refine these goals so they have a better chance of actually happening (“do this X times a week,” as opposed to just “do this”). Every few months, I circle back, evaluating my progress (or lack thereof). It’s a system that helps hold me accountable, and I’ve been able to follow through on a lot of things as a result.

But many of my goals, I’m starting to realize, are pretty _me_ centered. _Work less. Sleep more. Save X amount of money._ Resolutions usually encourage me to look inward – as opposed to outward. As a result, I think, the past few years have been pretty _me_ focused, too.

So this year, as I think about my 2019 goals, I’m trying to think outward as much as inward. _What can I put out into the world this year?_ _How can I better serve God and my community?_

I don’t have all the answers at this point, and that’s OK. Vision alone can steer you forward.

**Here are a few of the questions I’m asking myself. Maybe they’ll help you, too.**

What are some things that have been weighing on your heart lately?

What is a problem you see — globally or locally — that you can’t turn away from?

What are some things you can do something about it?

What are some ways you can serve your neighbors better?

Who are some people you’d like to focus on encouraging and/or praying for this year?

_Brittney serves on the Writing Team at Hoboken Grace._


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