In memorizing God’s word, we allow the Spirit to bring truth into our lives at any moment as He calls us back to a passage at just the right time in just the right situation.

This month our memory verse is:

**“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”**

**John 15:5**

One of the most difficult and yet beautiful steps in our maturity as disciples of Christ is the embracing of our disabilities. The scriptures are incredibly clear that it’s in our weakness that His strength is displayed and yet we continue to act as if this journey is about our strength instead of His.

He calls us to embrace our weakness. He calls us to live in light of our disabilities.

The following book is designed to help us address two of the most destructive of our disabilities; our forgetfulness and our blindness.

Our forgetfulness robs us of living in light of His grace, His provision, His love, and His presence. We have the capacity to walk out of an incredible experience with Him and in a moment to believe the lie that He is distant. We need to develop rhythms in our lives and day that call us to remember the reality that we live and move and breathe in Him.

Rhythms also help us address our blindness because they draw us into a conversation with Him that does not cease. Rather than simply speaking to him once a day or once a week, we intentionally schedule times throughout our day to reignite our conversation with Him if by chance it has ceased. We seek to live our lives listening. We seek to live our lives attune to the voice that awakens us to the truth of God. We seek to pray without ceasing as we engage Him throughout our day rather than wasting our conversation by talking to ourselves.

Throughout history those who have known God well, those who have walked with Him, have lived lives with [rhythms](http://hobokengrace.com/rhythms/) that called them back frequently to the one they loved most. We seek to do the same. We hope you’ll join us.

[ More On Rhythms ](http://hobokengrace.com/rhythms/) 


August Rhythms


Over the past few years, I’ve [interviewed](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/category/fpu/) countless people about their success with Financial Peace University. Couples told me it made their marriage stronger. Individuals reported paying off thousands of dollars in debt. Other people said they gained confidence and clarity in their finances that they’d never had. No matter where they were, everyone seemed to walk away with huge takeaways and more money in their bank account.

And yet, when I heard these stories, I didn’t think [FPU](http://hobokengrace.com/berich) was for me. I had no debt, wasn’t married and already considered myself pretty financially savvy. So really, I thought, what could this class possibly teach me?

In some ways, I felt like I’d been a student of personal finance my entire life. Raised by a stay-at-home dad who dabbled in investing between diaper changes, I remember watching more CNBC than Barney in the early ’90s, learning the ebb and flow of the stock market before the alphabet. Growing up, my dad coached me to buy things when they were on sale, taught me which stores doubled coupons and instilled in me a weird fondness for grocery store circulars that exists to this day.

That frugalness followed me to college, where I worked three jobs before graduating a year and a half early so I’d have minimal debt. I paid off the rest six years early, tackling the loans with the highest interest first, just as my dad had taught me. I started contributing to a 401(K) as soon as I got a job, eventually paid off my car, and seemed to be doing just fine on the meager journalism salary my college friends and I once joked would keep us eating ramen noodles forever.

But something changed around the time I moved to the Hoboken area. I started dipping into my savings to pay off my credit card at the end of each month. I racked up brunch and bar tabs and booked expensive vacations, swiping my credit card left and right like it was nothing. I was living in a city where most people don’t seem to worry about money, in an era of Treating Yo’self and Instagrammable vacations and avocado toast. With my student loans and car paid off, I stopped worrying about money, too, treating myself to plenty of metaphorical and literal avocado toast. (Sidebar: That stuff is even more ridiculously expensive when you have a gluten allergy.)

After months of this Groundhog Day cycle where I’d pull up my bank account, panic over the balance and vow to do better next month, taking control of my finances became one of my goals for 2018\. I wanted to save more and give more — and have some basic idea of where my money was going.

When I signed up for FPU in January, I was still hesitant. Despite my bank account screaming otherwise, I thought I at least knew how to be smart with money. I had the basics of budgeting down. I didn’t need someone to warn me of the horrors of not saving for retirement — Suze Orman had already done that most of my life. And besides, once you know a ROTH IRA from a 401(k), you’re basically an expert, right?

As it turned out, those nine weeks made a huge impact on how I’ll look at money for the rest of my life. I learned about what types of insurance you actually need — what to add to your plan and what you shouldn’t bother paying for. I learned that changing your budget month to month works better than sticking to the same one throughout the year. And lastly, I learned that gaining control of your finances has much more to do with weighing priorities than giving up the things you love.

It was exactly what I needed to get my finances on track. And I know FPU made just as big an impact on the other people in the class. A survey at the end of the semester found participants saw an average turnaround of $7,723 — which might mean debt paid off or money saved. On average, families and individuals see a $4,000 turnaround in their finances during the nine weeks.

In the end, FPU was for me — because, really, FPU is for everyone, no matter how much you think you know.

[ Register for FPU today!](http://hobokengrace.com/berich/)

_Brittney serves on the Writing Team and she apologizes for reinforcing countless millennial stereotypes with the mere mention of avocado toast._


Why I Didn’t Think FPU Was For Me

Last fall, during Hoboken Grace’s 1Day event, two teams cleared out a pair of abandoned plots of land, weeding, picking up garbage and digging out stumps. Nearly a year later, the plots on Willow Avenue and Park Street are still being cared for by Hoboken Grace. 

For James, the church’s Director of Community Impact and Outreach, tending to these small gardens seemed like an ideal project. After joining Hoboken Grace’s staff earlier this year, he approached the Hoboken Shade Tree Commission and offered to take care of the plots, which were quickly becoming overrun with weeds again. 

“Hoboken Grace doesn’t have a building of our own — we meet in the HOPES building at 301 Garden Street,” he explained. “We want the spirit of Hoboken Grace to move throughout Hoboken and try to touch all four corners of our community.”

Ever since, James has been working to beautify the two areas, which countless people walk by each day. In addition to keeping them free of weeds, he is working to add more plants to each one.

As one of the gardeners of a different Hoboken community garden, in the center meridian of 11th Street, I also feel the value of gardens in our city. My garden was overrun with tall, robust, orange daylilies that were taking over part of the plot. So I offered the full-grown plants to James to help the new plots get a good start. 

Several days of digging out and replanting them with James’ help led to the first floral contribution to the new Hoboken garden on Willow Avenue. It was also a casual way for James and I to have a pleasant conversation about our lives and what brought each of us to Hoboken Grace. Now that the daylilies are in place, James is talking about adding two silver birch trees to the design.

Most of the plants and flowers that grace the 11th Street gardens are purchased with funds from the city. It was satisfying to think that some of the plants I’d taken care of for years were outgrowing the space, and being donated on to another public city space.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/Day-Lilies-2.jpg)

While I was taking the photos for this blog post, showing the full bloom orange daylilies that remain in my plot, my previous neighbor drove by. He slowed down to chat and admire the flowers. He had been the original gardener of this plot, and he told me the history of the lilies. “These flowers were originally from my mother’s house and I transplanted them here,” he said. “The house has been sold, but it’s nice to see that these flowers from the yard are still here.” 

I told him that they were so healthy and had spread so far that some of them were being moved to another plot to beautify another area of Hoboken. He smiled, and I snapped a photo of the beautiful blossoms.

It takes a community to maintain these Hoboken gardens that bring the beauty and grace of God’s creation to passersby. If you are interested in working with James to maintain these gardens, contact him at James@hobokengrace.com.

_Barbara is a member of the Writing Team._


The Daylilies on Willow Avenue

One of our favorite nights of the year as a Dinner Group is when we get to have an encouragement night. Encouragement night is an evening when we can take time to stop, reflect, and share on how we value and appreciate one another.

Encouragement is something we’re already doing in groups by just [showing up](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/show-join-real/) and being willing to listen and support one another in their own spiritual growth, but by vocalizing that encourage we are able to love those around us at the next level.

> “So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.” [1 Thessalonians 5:11 MSG](https://my.bible.com/bible/116/1TH.5.11)

Here are three questions you can ask to lead your group on an encouragement night:

#### What do you value and appreciate about others in this group?

Over the year we’ve learned this is valuable because it’s rare that we take time to let others know how we appreciate them. Your and your group members love group. The biggest reason you like group is because of the people in the group. By stopping to reflect on others in the group allows us the space to think about why we value others. Most of the feedback in life can be how we don’t measure up or that we could be doing more. This is where we get the opportunity to flip that. Spoke encouragement from others stirs up one another to love well.

> “Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” [Hebrews 10:24-25](https://my.bible.com/bible/116/HEB.10.24-25)

#### What are the strengths you see in others?

We’ve learned that as individuals we can struggle to know what are strengths are because we live with an assumption that because it comes easy to us it must . When our group members recognize this strength as a gift from God that makes them unique it empowers them to use it in service of others.

#### How have you witnessed others in this group grow?

Because we are in it every day it can be a challenge for us to witness our own growth. If you’re group member is consistent in group it’s rare that they are not growing. Helping them to see how they’ve mature can really motivate them to keep going and to overcome the next hurdle they face in life.

A few tips that we’ve learned along the way:

* We recommend hosting an encouragement night quarterly, but we’ve also found it’s super helpful at ending well. So if you group is coming up on a break or about to wrap up because you’re about to launch a new group hosting an encouragement the last time you meet really puts a bow on it.
* As a group leader you need to make sure everyone has been encouraged. You may need to think a head of time what you might say about everyone in the group in case someone is overlooked. I have found this rare but it’s helpful just in case.
* Just because we want to make sure everyone is encourage it’s important to make sure what you are saying is true. Don’t lie. Lies are not encouraging. If your stuck think, “what does this person bring to our group? What is unique about them?”

Have you done and encouragement night in your group? Share with us how it went! Email [dinnergroups@hobokengrace.com](mailto:dinnergroups@hobokengrace.com)

For more group leader resources, click here to return to [dinnergroupleader.com](http://dinnergroupleader.com)


Encouragement Night

Last Sunday, Anthony talked about how each person has a part [when on one mission together](http://hobokengrace.com/podcast/crazy-book-engage/). Just like the early church, we’re called to the same mission of helping people find their way back to God. But in order to fulfill that mission, everyone is called to engage in it.

At Hoboken Grace, several dozen teams do their own small part. While some roles are more visible, like serving in the band, others are much more behind the scenes — [greeting people](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/first-impressions-lasting-connections/), [washing dishes](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/service-with-a-smile/), [taking photos](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/love-camera-lens/). Each role is just as essential, and each team depends on each other — like different parts of the body working together.

Joining a team is a great way to meet people with similar interests. And it’s an easy way to pick up new skills.

In the meantime, here are five questions you might have.

**What’s the time commitment?**

With several dozen teams at Hoboken Grace, there’s bound to be one that fits your schedule. While most teams serve on Sunday mornings, there are also many opportunities to serve during the week. Some teams are more flexible than others — for example, while the Writing Team meets throughout the month, team members can write on their own time. (As long as they meet deadline, of course!)

**How will I know which team is the right fit?**

In choosing a team, it’s often helpful to think about your gifts. Also, what do you love doing? What makes you feel alive?

Are you a people person who thrives on making connections? Or maybe your friends rave about your hosting abilities. The [Assimilation Team](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/gift-ill-never-forget/) or [First Impressions](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/first-impression-stuck/) could be a great fit. While First Impressions creates a welcoming environment on Sunday mornings (through the setup and tear-down teams, hospitality and greeting), the Assimilation Team includes the people who stand at Connection Points, as well as other teams that help people take and celebrate their next steps.

Love [photography](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/love-camera-lens/), [writing](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/why-we-write/) or [video production](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/capturing-the-story/)? Or do you have [social media](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/never-thought-share-facebook/) or marketing skills? Our Communications Team works to tell the story of what God is doing in our community.

Do you love helping others? The [Community Impact/Outreach](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/yes-can-reach-people/) teams work to impact those in our city, demonstrating God’s love in tangible ways (random acts of kindness, supporting local shelters, etc.).

Or maybe you love working with kids. Serving with [Grace Kids](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/teams-make-no-mistake/) can make a huge impact on our city’s children — and their parents.

If you thrive on creativity, the Arts Team might be a good fit. The team is made up of musicians, designers and contractors working to communicate His value [through the Arts](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/3-myths-worship-team/).

**What if I’m still figuring out this whole faith thing?** 

That’s fine! Teams are a place to grow, no matter where you are. 

**Do I need to have experience for any of these teams?**

Absolutely not! One of the great things about joining a team is the opportunity to learn new skills. For example, while the Production Booth might look intimidating, most members got started without any knowledge of how the controls work. You don’t need to be a photo whiz to join the Photo Team, or a creative genius to join the Arts Team. (That said, it’s often helpful to have some experience before joining the band.)

**What if I join a team and then decide I don’t like it?**

Most teams start with a tryout period — no, not like an audition. You’ll get the chance to “shadow” someone on the team, learning what they do and getting a preview of what it’s like to serve. If you decide that a team isn’t a great fit, you’re welcome to give something else a try.

_Ready to serve? Sign up for Team Link happening this Sunday._

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/02/pic.jpg)](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/202084)


Five Common Questions About Joining a Team

Over the past several years, more than 200 people in our church family have taken Financial Peace University, forever changing the way they interact with money. In story after story, we’ve seen individuals take control of their finances, pay off thousands of dollars in debt and be able to give more freely to those around them.

This course has already been transformational for countless people. So this fall, we’re taking it to the next level. We’re opening up Financial Peace University to everyone in our city, with the goal of 1,000 people taking FPU together.

**Why talk about money?**

Most of us want to impact the world around us — we want to be able to help our friend when they’re in need, or to give more freely to certain causes. But very few of us are positioned for impact. We have the greatest of intentions, but because of the way we interact with money, because of the way we look at money, we’re not positioned to do this well.

As we walk into the fall, we’ll be looking at all that God teaches us about finances. God doesn’t just talk about finances in terms of giving — He talks to us about planning, providing for those around us, even debt. When it comes to talking about the financial aspects of your life, He does this not because He wants something from you, but because He wants something for you. He wants you to know what it is to live a rich life.

The name for this series, “Be Rich,” comes from 1 Timothy 6:17:

_“Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so unreliable, but their trust should be in God, who richly gives us everything we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should **be rich** in good works and generous to those in need.”_

\[vc\_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkyKggnuZsE”\]

**Who is FPU best suited for?**

No matter where you are in your finances, this is for you. Over the next couple weeks, you’ll hear stories about people in different places with their finances. For some of them it’s about getting out of debt. For others, it’s about planning for the future, or managing the tension between saving and giving. Another common theme is couples who, for the first time, are finally on the same page about their finances. It has created an open door for couples to openly discuss and plan their finances rather than arguing about them.

God wants money to be something that frees you, not something that causes stress. As a community, we’re going to walk through this together.

**What does it cost?**

Typically at Hoboken Grace, we provide all the resources. But we want you to invest in this. We’ve learned that when you invest in it, you stick with it. We’re asking you to invest in this. The cost of $88 (for a couple or an individual) covers the materials you’ll need — a book, videos you can watch from anywhere and other resources. But we also don’t want the cost to keep anyone from taking the class. Contribute whatever you can and we’ll cover the rest. This is going to be completely transformational, and we don’t want anyone to miss out.

**A few last words**

What God wants for you — what we want for one another — is for us to be able to live rich lives, for us to be able to see money as a tool, not something that consumes us and is constantly causing stress in our relationships and inside our lives. Our finances can be a tool for us to be able to love better, impact the world around us and, more than anything else, to follow Him better.

[Ready? Sign up now](http://hobokengrace.com/berich/) 

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/IMG-3706-1-1-1024x604.jpg)


Everything Changes This Fall

It’s probably no surprise that some of us Writing Team members have a long summer reading list. And of course, we’re always on the lookout for other recommendations. So this week, we asked some of Hoboken Grace’s staff what they’d suggest — the books that changed their perspective, the ones they’re still thinking about, and the ones that simply make a great summer read. Here’s what they suggested and why.

### Anthony, Care Director

How People Change by Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp

Sometimes I think we struggle believing that the Gospel applies to present, everyday living. This book helped me to understand that it all starts with the heart. If I truly want to change and grow, that need begins at the heart.

The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller

Not a reader, but want to be? This short book helped me understand what it takes to truly enjoy my life. It’s packed with truths about identity, work and what we put in our lives that takes the place of important things. Plus, it’s less than 100 pages!

No More Dragons by Jim Burgen

If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and didn’t like what you saw looking back at you, this book has the power to move you. The author is real, honest and shares powerful story after powerful story to illustrate how people really can change. It’s a fascinating and wonderful read.

### Rachel, Kids Director

The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Peter Scazzero

This book was a great reminder of how important it is for me as a leader to maintain a healthy relationship with God by spending time with Him daily. My ability to lead well when things are busy or stressful can only come from a deep connection with Him. I found this book to be encouraging and helpful!

### Sarah, First Impressions Director

Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion by George J. Thompson and Jerry B. Jenkins

This is a great read on how to engage people through empathy and how to love them through words in difficult conversations. It’s a great encouragement on how to listen better. I recommend this read to help anyone improve their communication skills.

Be Our Guest: Perfecting the Art of Customer Service by the Disney Institute with Theodore Kinni

A fun and inspiring look behind the scenes of the cast and customer service at Disney! Whether you’re hosting a party, planning a meeting or getting ideas for First Impressions, this read will spike your curiosity and inspire you to up the ante in serving others.

Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves to be Noticed by Sara Hagerty

A lovely friend gifted this book to me — I had no idea how it would encourage my soul in this season of life. For all the ladies who need a sweet reminder of whose you are — beloved by our Father — dive in and enjoy!

### 

### Nick Lenzi, Community & Finance Director

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah

Okay, I didn’t “read it,” but I listened to the audiobook and I feel that was the best choice because Trevor is a wonderful performer and impressionist. _Born a Crime_ is a true story about a mischievous young boy (Trevor Noah) who grows into a restless young man as he struggles to find himself in a world where he was never supposed to exist. This book does such a wonderful job with race, history, anthropology, economics, faith and so much more.

### James Sproule, Outreach Director

The Captain Class by Sam Walker

A great read on sports dynasty and leadership dynamics.

### Melanie Leonard, Communications Director

Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Amy Wallace and Edwin Catmull

Nothing energizes me more than talking about ideas and the possibilities of the future. This book was a great inspiration in how to create, manage and maintain an environment where that can happen. Everyone can be creative in some form and I love finding ways to draw that out of people.

### Pastor Chris

Artisan Soul by Erwin Raphael McManus

I love how Erwin moves people to dream. I love how he helps us all connect with the artistic aspect of who God made us to be.


Staff Picks for Your Summer Reading List

Try as we might to grow closer to God, our daily whirlwind of responsibilities and distractions often pulls us in other directions. But what if you set aside several days to simply experience His presence?

Next month, you’ll have the opportunity to do just that.

Join us for [Axiom: Pilgrimage](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/128598) from August 6-10\. This wilderness retreat will take you deep into the wilds of Montana, in a valley framed by the Bob Marshall Wilderness & Mission Mountain Wilderness.

Axiom, an international program, is designed to help participants gain intimacy in their conversations with God. For some, that might mean wrestling through specific questions. For others, the retreat may involve focusing on where God is leading them — and exploring that through journaling, scripture and prayer.

To find out more about Axiom, hear about Anthony’s experience below.

\[vc\_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeV8pTiDJVE”\]

**Don’t wait! Sign up for the retreat by _Tuesday, July 17!_**

[Sign up here](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/128598?utm%5Fsource=Hoboken+Grace+Mailing+List&utm%5Fcampaign=bb2a25f13e-EMAIL%5FCAMPAIGN%5F2018%5F04%5F24%5FCOPY%5F01&utm%5Fmedium=email&utm%5Fterm=0%5F5abf2eddf8-bb2a25f13e-35367025) 


Looking Up

Has something ever happened in your life that was so good that it left you completely awestruck – just utterly mind-blown? Like there was something you’d been wanting and hoping for and dreaming about but never imagined it would really happen until it actually came true? That’s what it’s been like for me since I found my way back to God and found myself at home at Hoboken Grace. 

You might be reading this and wondering, “Who is this girl?” Well, hi! I’m Alex, and I am so new to Hoboken Grace that most of you reading this probably have no idea who I am. It’s alright because I am going to change that. Once you’ve read this, and you see me at church or out in town, I hope you will stop me and say hello because I am eager to meet you. 

I have not always been a Christian. I’ve been exposed to Christianity, but wasn’t raised in the church. I actually went through the motions of becoming Roman Catholic when I was 18, but I would not have considered myself a believer. I think I always wanted to be, but I just couldn’t seem to find my place. 

I experienced a lot of tragedy in my life at a young age and I blamed God. As I grew into an adult, I still felt like I had no control over anything that was happening to me and around me. The harder things seemed to get, the more I blamed God. By the time I graduated college, I had turned my back on Him completely. I closed my eyes, covered my ears, and turned my heart and mind off to Him. I eventually became lost in my vices, which led me down a path of indulgence and self-destruction. I somehow managed to grow an ego as big as the sun – and that pride was probably my biggest downfall.

Fast-forward 10 years and I found myself as a single mother who’d lost _everything_ I had ever worked for and most of my relationships. But little did I know, God was there the whole time, watching me, nudging me, dropping little hints and giving me signs. I’m only just realizing this now, of course. 

My first service at Hoboken Grace was this past Easter Sunday. I got to witness several people get baptized, experience the most important Christian holiday on my very first day, and find a home for myself and my daughter so that we might get to experience God the way He has intended for us. 

Our stories are not going to be the same. Each one of our relationships with God is so very personal, but we are not alone and not entirely unique either. I feel like every time I meet someone new at Hoboken Grace and get to know them a little bit, they tell me they never could have imagined they would be working or serving at a church, but they can now see how everything that they have ever been called to do has led them here. If someone would have told me 10 years ago, five years ago, even one year ago, that I would be who I am and where I am today, I wouldn’t have believed them for a second. But as lost as I was, I can see what the Lord was doing in my life to prepare me for what He has planned for me.

As God would have it, I was connected with the Communications Team and have been blessed with the opportunity to reach out and learn others’ stories and share them with all of you. I can’t wait to see how God is going to use me in this way, and if it is you He puts in front of me, I can’t wait to meet you! 

If you’re new and you don’t know where to start, it’s OK. I didn’t either. I think the best thing I did was get myself to a service, walk up to somebody wearing a nametag and say, “Hey, this is my first service. Can you help me?” From that point on, all the dots have started to connect. The more people I meet and the more I engage with what we are learning every Sunday, the better I am at discerning what God has in mind, and the better things are starting to work out in my life.

Most of the time the Lord isn’t going to show up in some grand, Hollywood, _deus ex machina_ sort of way. He most likely will come quietly and when you least expect it. Amid all the chaos that life can throw your way, and all the distractions you might experience as you go along, pay attention to that still, small voice. He will lead the way.

_Alex is the newest member of the Communications Team, and she’s looking forward to this opportunity to get to know people and help them share their stories._

_———_

_If you would like to share your story or are interested in this team, email melanie@hobokengrace.com._


The Still, Small Voice

“You’re a Christian?” I remember being asked that one day at dinner with someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. We were friends in college and had reconnected over a dinner in the city years later. They were surprised because in college, I wasn’t a Christian. In fact, during undergrad, I probably had never been farther from God in my life. Or so I thought. 

I answered with a little stutter, because I could sense the judgment behind my friend’s question. It’s as if they were asking me, “You wear socks with sandals?!” You know, surprised by my choice. But I told them, “Yes.” And as expected, their answer was, “You know that comes with a lot of negative connotation, right?”

I proceeded to engage with them in a conversation about who God was in my life and said that even in college, when I seemed far away from Him, He was never far from me. By the end of the dinner, I remember telling my friend, “Listen, I know being a Christian this day and age carries around with it a lot of negative publicity. That’s our fault. If we really were following who Christ is, we’d be the kindest and most loving people you’d ever met.” 

Unfortunately, a lot of us have missed the mark. Yes, I know, we’re human and we aren’t going to be perfect. We’re not called to be perfect. We’re called to be “like Christ” or “Christ like,” and what does that mean? That means we spend time with Him (in His word), engage with Him and see what He’s done. But, we also engage with people like He did. 

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 2:5-8, “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” And one of the attributes of Christ that we learned from the early church is boldness. We’re told in Ephesians that “we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in Him.”

\[vc\_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16guEOrvuo4″\]

What is boldness? It’s an unwavering commitment to your faith and beliefs. It’s a desire to tell others about what you know to be true and what you’re experiencing. I know, I know. That’s nerve wracking when you think about it. What will they think of me? What will they say to me? Will they be like your friend who turned a nose up to your proclamation? These are valid concerns, and I’m not diminishing them by any means. All I’m asking is, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Seriously. What’s the worst that could happen? They ignore it, they get angry, they walk away, they turn their nose up to you and say, “You’re a Christian?” Or, maybe, they begin to ask questions. They ask when and where you attend on Sundays. They ask why. They ask to come along. Who knows? We’re not to know the outcome, we’re simply told to open the door and let God be God. 

We mentioned some practical ways to be bold this day and age on Sunday. You can invite someone to join you on Sundays. You can invite someone to join you for Dinner Group and/or a connection event. These are low-risk, high-return ways of getting people to hear how much they mean to God and how much He’s pursuing them. You could also tell your story. Tell them what God is doing in your life and how you’re engaging with Him. These are all ways of opening the door for God to do His work. 

One of the biggest differences from the early church to the 21st-century church is their ability to stand bold in the face of adversity. For them, the stakes were incredibly high — life or death. Yet they knew, because they saw Jesus. They knew who He was and what He could do because they walked with Him, they talked with Him and they spent time with Him. We can do the same thing and maybe, just maybe, invite some of that 1st century boldness back into the 21st century and let God continue to do His thing. 


Be Bold

There were two things I learned right away when I moved to Hoboken. One, don’t talk loudly (or at all) on the PATH, and two, get a beach house in the summer. Both of these things were foreign to me — I wasn’t super familiar with public transportation and, where I’m from, people go to the beach for the day and then go home. But in New Jersey, especially Hoboken, everyone spends every weekend of the summer at the beach. Hoboken looks like a ghost town in the summer. The upside is tons of parking, but the downside is knowing everyone is enjoying the beach and you are not. So, never wanting to miss out on any opportunity to have fun, I signed up to rent a beach house with about 20 other people.

I remember driving down that first weekend. I brought my weekend bag to work, cut out early at 3 p.m. and headed “down the Shore.” Windows down, music blasting and speeding just enough that I wouldn’t get a ticket, I was super pumped. This was definitely how I wanted to spend my summer weekends. I arrived at the house slightly nervous to meet everyone, but the girl who owned the house made me feel right at home. This house was beautiful! It had several bedrooms and bathrooms, and a gorgeous built-in swimming pool in the backyard with plenty of lounge chairs. We grabbed a beer, sat on the porch and waited for everyone else to arrive. Everyone was so nice and welcoming. I knew a few of the people already, but most of them were new to me. We all quickly became buddies sharing the same sentiment — it’s summer and everyone is happy to be out of the city and at the beach, ready to RELAX and have fun.

Well, I was a rookie and that was clear within my first 24 hours at the house. This was my first beach house. And like any rookie, I made every rookie mistake. I drank too much before we went out, then drank more when we went out, ran up a bar tab by buying everyone else drinks, made some bad relationship decisions and ate too much food late at night. FAIL.

I’d like to say that after my first night at the house I made better decisions that summer, but I didn’t. I kept thinking that this is what people do in the summer to have fun and relax. But the problem was, I wasn’t relaxed. I was hungover, embarrassed, physically unhealthy and emotionally drained. By the time I got back to the city on Sunday night, I was no more refreshed than when I had left. In fact, it would take me most of the week to recover, only to then go and do it all over again.

The [Celebrating Summer](http://hobokengrace.com/series/celebrating-summer/) series reminded me of this experience. I had it all wrong. And although I had to learn the hard way, I did eventually learn to celebrate in a healthy way that did leave me feeling full and refreshed. A couple of summers later, I did another beach house. This time, I didn’t drink. For me, that was the move I needed to make at that time. And I thought, this isn’t going to be half as fun as previous summers, but let me tell you it was the BEST summer I’ve had yet and I had TONS of fun, believe it or not. I worked out every morning by walking on the boardwalk and listening to the Hoboken Grace playlist — I love a good speed walk. Then we’d play at the pool and beach all day. I’d read a good book and take a nap. At night, we’d go out or play board games. And my favorite thing about it all was the friendships and community. The deep conversations and the silly conversations. I remembered them all and they filled my soul. We all had so much fun. And when I came back to the city, I DID feel refreshed and my soul felt full. 

It took me awhile, but I did eventually figure out how to celebrate summer well.


Now, I Can Celebrate Summer

How can we serve our city in creative ways? That’s the question we asked that almost got us arrested.

We were trying anything and everything we could to serve, so when we heard there were movies at the park every Wednesday, we jumped on the opportunity. We could go down and hand out free water bottles to everyone who was on their way to the movie. It could be a simple way to serve on a hot summer night.

We showed up with a couple cases of water and began giving them away. Our neighbors loved it. It was hot, and many of them hadn’t thought to bring something with them.

However, the event organizers weren’t happy. To be clear, we should have contacted them first. We didn’t think about it all that much since we weren’t actually in the park or at the event.

When the police approached, we weren’t really concerned. They usually just want to make sure you’re not selling something. We informed them we weren’t, but we were still asked to leave. Actually, “asked” is a really nice way of saying it. It was the closest we’ve been to being arrested while trying to serve.

For years, we reached out and asked if we could serve in some way, but the door remained closed.

It wasn’t until 10 years later, after serving alongside the city with The Arts & Music Festival, 1 Day, and many other projects, that we finally built the trust that enabled us to break through that barrier!

Now we not only get to serve at Movies under the Stars, but the city has invited us into the event as a sponsor partner. Each Wednesday night, a team is serving our city by handing out free popcorn to those at the event. It’s amazing what can happen when you love not just for a moment, but for years!

_To get involved and join in on an upcoming Wednesday, email [James@hobokengrace.com](mailto:James@hobokengrace.com)._

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/07/Dinner-Group-Popcorn-Impact-Event-Movie-Under-the-Stars-2-1024x529.jpg)


That Time We Almost Got Arrested

_#TBT to this article._

 **If Our July 4th Party Were Reviewed On Yelp**

Yesterday marked another much anticipated Fourth of July party on the pier. As we roasted under the summer sun, everyone broke a sweat competing in a cornhole competition for the ages. Fun, new friends, and food were in abundance, so much so, even the birds wanted in on the action. But, don’t take our word for it – here are some “Yelp Reviews” from the folks who were there.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/DSC_5861-e1530801642558.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/DSC%5F5861.jpg)

5 stars – Food, fun, overly brazen pigeons – this event had it all! Disappointingly almost no one got hit by a cornhole bag, but overall great experience. 10/10 would go again.  
_– Meghan H._

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/DSC_6061-e1530804132588.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/DSC%5F6061.jpg)

Hoboken Grace picnics are always a great time so I make every effort to attend each Holiday! Great food, great company with a great view! Sadly, I had to leave early, but my team won the cornhole tournament, shout out to Hannah and CJ!  
_– John C._

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/DSC_5970.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/DSC%5F5970.jpg)

Hoboken Grace’s Party at the Pier was not your average backyard 4th of July BBQ. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to meet some awesome new friends instead of having Aunt Susan ask me why I’m single for the 4th year in a row. Also, I should mention everyone was just as photogenic as the NYC skyline views. My only suggestion is Hoboken Grace should consider hiring some security to keep out those pesky party crashers, those geese and pigeons sure were greedy! 10/10 would recommend this event to a friend.  
_– Hannah R._

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/DSC_6116.jpg)

This Independence Day event gets 4 stars because it had plenty of activities and plenty of food. My friends and I hung out by the food table most of the time. Everyone was friendly except for the occasional person who would keep me from getting my feathers in the food or would try to get me to fly through the corn hole. #HobokenPigeonLife  
_– Erick The Pigeon_

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/07/DSC_6090-e1530802546659.jpg)

Two thumbs up on the yummy cake. But, a pigeon took my second piece. And there was too much itchy grass.  
_– Baby Evie_

_It’s never too late to join the party. [Full list of upcoming events here.](http://hobokengrace.com/events/)_


If Our July 4th Party Were Reviewed On Yelp

When I moved to New York four years ago I had so many plans — plans of who I would meet, where I would go and what I would do. But in all the plans I had made, none of them included moving to New Jersey or working for a church.

It’s hard to believe that I started working at Hoboken Grace two years ago, and even harder to believe that time has come to an end. As I head back to Florida to start a new chapter, there’s so much I’ll take with me from my time here. I couldn’t possibly fit it all in one blog post, but here are a few things.

**1). It’s not about you**

After a year of living and working in the city, I started to outgrow my job and began looking for a new one. Every avenue I explored led to a dead end. I grew frustrated but kept searching anyway. One day while scrolling though Facebook, I saw an ad for a communications assistant at Hoboken Grace. The description sounded like a perfect fit, so I applied but didn’t think much of it.

I was so excited when I landed the job and chalked it up to an answered prayer and something to check off my list. But I quickly learned that was a one-dimensional way of seeing things and God. Shortly after joining the staff, Rachel, the communications director at the time, was called away from work to care for her mother, who was terminally ill. I had to take just a couple weeks of training and dive in. During that time, I realized that it wasn’t just about my story and my timing. I thought back to the time it took me to find a new job and how I began to grow frustrated with how long it was taking. I began to see how God intricately weaves our stories with other people’s stories. I realized God had placed me there at the right time because he knows all and knows best. God has given all of us the ability to impact and love others, even in the smallest ways.

**2). Growth is necessary** 

If there’s one thing I’m sure of after my time at Hoboken Grace, it’s that I’ve definitely grown. I’ve grown as an individual and my husband and I have grown as a family. Whether it was creating and implementing a life plan, attending dinner group, taking the premarital and NINE classes or learning how to manage money in FPU, over the past few years I have been able to grow in every area of my life. I’ve come to understand that growth is important and that it never stops. God constantly wants to teach us and show us new things that will help us in our walk with Him and to love those around us better.

**3). Lead in love** 

What I’ll miss the most about working at Hoboken Grace are the people. I may be a bit biased, but my coworkers are the best on the the planet. I can truly say it was a pleasure working alongside them every day. I learned what it looks like to trust God and love people through everything — through joy, pain, wins and losses. I watched them leverage everything for the mission. I saw what it looks like to lead with grace and love. I learned how to use the gifts God has given me to serve others.

Now as I head to Florida to embark on a new journey of becoming a parent and building a home, I look back on all the lessons I learned, the relationships I built and the memories I’ve made, and I’m so grateful for my time at Hoboken Grace. I don’t know exactly what God has in store, but I’m excited for what the future holds and I know that I’m much more equipped and better prepared to to impact and love the people around me.


What I Learned From My Time at Hoboken Grace

It happens much earlier than expected; the day arrives when a child no longer cares what their parents have to say. It doesn’t matter how well they’ve loved them. It doesn’t matter how well they’ve cared for them. It doesn’t matter how wise their parents are. The day will arrive.

We all experienced this with our own parents. We appreciated their input, but let’s be honest — they’re old. They don’t understand the world today. They don’t experience the problems we experience. It was foolish, but we all did this to our parents. Some of you are still doing this to your parents. I know because your parents email me.

The day will come.

The question is “Are we prepared?”

When the day arrives there will be another voice that will rise to the top in that child’s life. As kids we think that we’re declaring independence. The truth is we’re simply depending on another input or influence. The voice may be a friend or group of friends. The voice may be a teacher. The voice may be a television show. The voice may be a celebrity. But make no mistake about it, there will be another voice that rises to the top, and to prepare for that day is to be intentional about the voices that are part of the child’s story.

My entire life my parents practiced the principle of the third voice. They were constantly working to help me connect with trustworthy influences that could speak into my life when I wouldn’t listen to them. They weren’t spies to report back to my parents or deliver messages for my parents. They were solid mentors. They were family friends. They were Sunday School teachers. They were pastors and small group leaders. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that, looking back. I can’t tell you how many times I ignored my parents but listened to those voices even though they were saying the same thing.

It’s going to happen. When it happens we scramble to find a third voice, but it’s too late. Trust takes time to build. You have to build the relationship before the day arrives.

As we go into this fall, I want to challenge us to engage the third voice principle.

**Parents** – Take advantage of Grace Kids, where they can begin developing a third voice relationship. Don’t bring them into the service. I’m not that voice for them. Be consistent. Don’t switch services. Let your child actually develop a relationship with their teacher or small group leader. Don’t wait till the day comes.

Become a third voice in the life of another child. Get plugged into Grace Kids and be that voice for another parent’s child.

**Church** – Get involved in Grace Kids. You don’t have to be an expert to be a third voice. You just have to care about following Jesus and loving kids. It’s one of the most significant and meaningful ways you could possibly serve.

We are creating a safe place for kids to meet Christ. Be part of that reality.

[Click here ](http://hobokengrace.com/kids/)to schedule a tour of Grace Kids and see how you can begin becoming a third voice today!


The Third Voice

_This blog post was originally published in August 2016, but we’re pulling it out of the archive after [our conversation on Rest](http://hobokengrace.com/podcast/celebrating-summer-rest/) last Sunday._

A few months ago, as my mind spun in a whirl of “should do’s” and “could do’s” and “didn’t do’s,” a voice started whispering in my ear. No, literally. I was listening to an [audiobook ](https://www.amazon.com/Garden-City-Work-Being-Human/dp/0310337313/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470842278&sr=8-1&keywords=garden+city)about the balance of work and rest — in the midst of doing one much more than the other — and through the headphones came the suggestion of Sabbath, of balancing out our frantic, demanding lifestyles by taking one day each week to reset and recharge.

For as long as I could remember, I had been living in what felt like perpetual fight-or-flight mode. I was overcommitted, overscheduled and overextended. My mind was this adrenaline-powered carousel, circling with commitments, obligations and the belief that, somehow, I could keep pace. All day, every day, it spun ‘round and ‘round, casting a trance of guilt and shame as I failed to keep up.

What if, that voice in the headphones said, you stopped for 24 hours each week? What if you set aside time to be fully present for your friends and family, instead of continuing to allow your anxiety to boil over into those relationships? What if you learned to delight in what God had already created, instead of striving to do more, be more and have more?

The voice had a good point. And thus began my summer-long experiment of observing the Sabbath, because really, what did I have to lose? And if God had bothered to embed the concept of rest into the foundation of humanity in Genesis, then etch it into stone in Exodus, there must be something to it, right?

Each weekend started with the best of intentions. But eventually I’d start making mental to-do lists of all the work I could be doing. The carousel would begin chugging up and down again, until it was zipping and flying along. Heart racing. Head spinning. Panic mode.

It seems that at the core of our subconscious — at the axle of the carousel — is the idea that our value and identity are based on what we accomplish, how much we produce and how much we possess. “The thinking … goes like this,” writes Alan Fadling in [_An Unhurried Life_](https://www.amazon.com/Unhurried-Life-Following-Jesus-Rhythms/dp/0830835733). “_If I do more, I am more. If I have more, I am more. If more people like and recognize me more, I’m more valuable._ This idea is subtle, and insidious in its undermining of the Sabbath. What happens to our sense of identity if we stop our activity to observe the Sabbath day? If I am what I do, who am I on a Sabbath day when I do nothing productive?”

[![sabbath](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/sabbath.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/sabbath.jpg)

The more I clung to the idea of Sabbath — instead of the egoistical notion that the world couldn’t carry on without my contributions — the more I began to see that it was about so much more than rest. When God stopped working on Day 7, it wasn’t because He needed to — it was so that He could soak in everything He’d created.

When God dictates the [Ten Commandments](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+20&version=NIV) in Exodus, nearly a third(!) of the words He has etched into stone are about marking the Sabbath (as opposed to “do not murder,” “do not steal” or “do not worship false Gods”). Apparently, He was really into this idea. He goes on and on about it to the Israelites, who had just spent decades enslaved in Egypt. Forty years later, Moses [expands ](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%205:12-15)on the purpose of Sabbath in Deuteronomy: “Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.”

Observing the Sabbath, God seems to say, is not just about rest, or even celebration. It’s freedom from the idea that we’re defined by our work, or how well we fulfill society’s demands and expectations. It’s a weekly reminder that our value is based not on what we produce, but who we are and who God intended us to be.

Sabbath is the practice of feeling filled rather than drained, of inhaling rather than exhaling. That might look different based on your season in life, or whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. It can mean brunch surrounded by the people you love, or people watching at the pier; family time at the park, or spending time alone in prayer; going out for ice cream, or staying in to savor your haul from the garden. (John Mark Comer, the author of that aforementioned audiobook, “Garden City,” uses only this criteria: “Is it worship or is it rest?” Will it leave you feeling filled or drained?) It doesn’t even matter what day of the week it is. Sabbath is simply time and space to share with God and the people you love. It’s an opportunity to soak it all in — the things that bring you joy.

The thing is, you can’t bear fruit well without proper nourishment. You can pick up endless causes and commitments to serve God, love His people and sow some good into the earth. Your veins might pulse with purpose and good intentions. But I’m convinced that we’ll never do any of it well if the carousel is spinning non-stop. You will sputter out and short-circuit. Instead, we need the rhythm of choosing Eden over Egypt. We need to marvel at the garden once in a while, instead of toiling in skyscraper pyramids and living enslaved to our schedules, to-do lists and society’s expectations.

So, yes, Sabbath is about rest. It’s about shutting down the carousel and declaring that, sorry, this ride is out of service today, please come back tomorrow. But that’s only so we can recalibrate, mind, body and soul, after our schedules and everything else spin out of control. Sabbath is where we find our center again, where we rediscover the identity that God intended for us, instead of finding it in our work. It’s where we meet God in the middle, to remember we’re shaped not by what we do, but who we are and what He has given us. It’s a celebration — of all that you are, all that God is, and all that this world already has to offer.

_Brittney is a member of the Writing Team._


A Rhythm of Rest

[For the past few weeks](http://hobokengrace.com/series/celebrating-summer/), we’ve been talking about how you can make this your best summer yet — and learn to rest in Him instead of resting from Him. On Sunday and in dinner group, we’ve discussed various tools to help you do just that. They include apps, audio and even video. Here’s a full list, and where to find each one.

1). The Bible Experience ([Find on Audible](https://www.audible.com/search/ref=a%5Fhp%5Ftseft?advsearchKeywords=bible%20experience&filterby=field-keywords) or [iTunes](https://itunes.apple.com/us/audiobook/inspired-by-the-bible-experience-new-testament-unabridged/id427267000))

2). [Hoboken Grace Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/1228483827)

3). [RightNow Media](https://www.rightnowmedia.org/library) (For a free account, text “NOW” to ‭+1 (201) 646-5547 or visit <http://hobokengrace.com/rightnow>)

4). [First5](https://first5.org/)

5). [YouVersion](https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/)

6). [Daily Bible Reading Plan](http://hobokengrace.com/bible/)

7). [Hoboken Grace Rhythms](http://hobokengrace.com/bible/)

\[vc\_video link=”https://youtu.be/pcUrQeedPBs”\]


7 Tools to Help You Grow This Summer

I got a glimpse at life as a rock star on my mission trip to Mexico. 

As our vans and trucks arrived within the walls of our “home” for the week, the Casa Hogar Alegre orphanage in Tuxtla Gutiérrez, the kids ran out and surrounded our vehicles with the enthusiasm of super fans. All of the clamor wasn’t for me, though — it was for those on the team returning, some after years and years of building relationships with these children. I wandered around the reunion scene, taking in all the kids and adults racing and jumping into hugs, and the children screaming and yelling and anxiously scanning those coming out of the vans for familiar faces.

When I left a week later, I too would be leaving having formed special bonds with some extra-special kids. I’d also take with me a change in heart and faith that before that week I had heard was often “profound” as it related to mission trips, but also seemed somewhat cliché.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/06/IMG_0403-768x1024.jpg)

So what was I doing here? Why did I leave my husband and two boys for a week of sleeping on a cot in a room of mostly complete strangers? What was I expecting to happen as I spent time with these kids in a completely unfamiliar environment and language?

A few months before, I’d heard a message from Pastor Chris about how to define your calling or mission. He spoke of an author who defined it as our inmost passion colliding with what we feel is the world’s deep hunger. As I processed the message from my seat, I concluded that for me, my mission is connecting with people, tangibly — specifically, those disadvantaged in some way, and even more specifically, children.

I was immediately drawn to this mission trip with that message in mind, and it didn’t hurt that the Tuxtla trip was light on the manual labor front and heavy on kid interaction. So I made a plan for myself and my journey with God on this trip. I wanted to deepen my experience of loving others completely and freely. I also wanted to take this time to face some issues I have with forgiveness — that is, forgiving myself. While I know in my heart that I’m forgiven and that Christ loves me no matter what, it’s been a constant and years-long struggle. I felt like a phony. The worst and most unforgivable kind.

Besides the nail polishes I’d packed for a pop-up nail salon, I prepped by marking devotionals and Bible passages. My story was “rehearsed” and ready to share, as we were encouraged to engage with our teammates. When I shared mine with my team members, 99 percent of whom I’d met for the first time that week, I dove deeper than I expected, maybe because of the new environment and freedom I was feeling given the amount of unfilled time I can’t remember the last time I had. I exposed my true self, and was met throughout the rest of the week by some particularly compassionate and wise Christians. 

The cathartic release of doing so, combined with my reading and time to simply think, was invisibly working wonders for my core. This, combined with the incredible closeness I felt with God as I spent so much quality time with these beautiful kids, was ramping up to a reconciliation I would never have predicted.

As I hung out with the kids at Casa Hogar, listening to Coldplay on the speaker I brought, painting nails with super excited girls of all ages, playing tag with the most rambunctious boys, and making paper airplanes for toddlers, I had in the back of my mind a specific picture. It was of Jesus surrounded by kids, an illustration from a page in the Bible I had growing up. I finally knew how He must have felt in that picture, simply enjoying the unconditional love they offered me so freely, while sharing my own with them.

At the same time, I began to feel anger. As I got to know these kids, I allowed myself to resent and question who would be sick enough to abuse them, as I heard so many were before arriving at the home. I saw scars on the side of some of the boys’ freshly shaved heads, especially after Dana and Eric on my team served these kids by giving them haircuts. It was a sight particularly painful for me, after years of being unable to have another baby. And here were children who’d been abandoned, some of them literally thrown out like trash when they were tiny.

I grew close with one of the boys I’d started out playing tag with, Miguel. He was the same age and build as my oldest son, skinny with a slim face and mischievous eyes. We couldn’t communicate that well given I spoke no Spanish, but we became playground buddies. He gave me a note in the middle of the week, written in Spanish, thanking me for my visit and ending with wishing God’s blessings for me. When we walked with the kids the next day on their highly anticipated field trip to the local science museum, we were told to choose two kids to hold hands with on the roadside walk. Miguel and I found each other instantly, and I hugged him close just as I do my son after not seeing him for awhile. 

By week’s end, I had written a note for Miguel, thanking him for his friendship, reminding him that I love him, God loves him, and his family of the 90-plus brothers and sisters there love him. I also told him to be a good boy, again, just as I would my own son, and told him that if God allowed me I would visit him again.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/06/IMG_0337-1-768x1024.jpg)

That last night as the long goodbyes with the kids commenced, selfies and Snapchat pics intermingled with soft crying and hugging goodbye, I picked Miguel up off his feet and hugged him close. I cried harder than I thought I would, and when I felt his tears on my T-shirt I wept as silently as I could and struggled to set him down and let him go. I kept telling him, “It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t cry.” I’m sure he understood. 

To say that in the moments after I gave in and put him down that it all came together in my head would be a gross understatement. My being furious with the evils in the world and with the loss these kids had of loving, doting parents, was met with the hard yet true realization that those who had put them there were forgiven. Further, God loves those parents, just as he does me, and I am unable to judge them as I myself am guilty of making poor choices — choices that tear at me today, that leave me shaking my head at myself, much less others I somehow feel have made some “worst of the worst” list along with me. 

God sees us as all the same, which can be mind-boggling, especially if we consider ourselves to be on the darker side of some imaginary sin scale. We are reminded of this truth in Romans 3:23\. He forgave all of us, loves and pursues all of us, regardless of our record of wrongs. I am not here on this mission trip, I told myself, or here on this earth, period, to judge or feel hatred. I cannot judge the circumstances or people that put those 90-plus kids there, nor can I judge anyone else for that matter. My true mission, in Him, is to offer love and support to His mission, in this case to support the loving family that runs the orphanage. Time spent being angry at others or at myself is time wasted. Energy spent being disgusted with others or myself is energy wasted. Blame or shame won’t get me anywhere, and hinders my ability to fully accept and apply His grace, as well as to accept my place or others’ in His bigger picture.

Sometimes I reference an airline attendant’s instructions at takeoff of “secure your mask before you help others” when I share with someone what it is I need to work through. It’s so true. Now that I’m able to accept His grace, I’m in a better position to share it with others. Hearing those instructions on the plane as we flew out of Tuxtla had a whole new meaning for me.

Now, God willing, I’ll be one of the returning team members next year. When Miguel sees me and I scoop him up I’ll be the one star struck, wanting to take pics with him and interview him about how much he’s grown in the past year. He’s the real rock star, as are all the beautiful faces from my week there. He is and they are the ones who taught my once silent and scared heart to sing in the light of His forgiveness and grace, just by letting me love them. Who knew? Not me, but He did.

_Kara serves on the Events Team at Hoboken Grace and loves serving those in her community just as much as serving the children she met at Casa Hogar. Want to learn more about Hoboken Grace’s mission trips? [Click here](http://hobokengrace.com/mission-trips/)._


The Incredible Lesson I Learned in Mexico

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A Diverse, Growing, Contemporary, Community Church in Hoboken

Everything we do revolves around our mission of helping people find their way back to God. Our goal is to demonstrate who God really is and to let others know that God wants a relationship with each and every one of us.

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