It’s raining again. Actually, it rained a lot this summer. Not daylong downpours that ruin all the vacation plans, but flash thunderstorms late at night that last no longer than an hour. The kind of storm that makes you grateful to stay inside — to snuggle down in your bed and think about how safe you are. They remind me that this city environment is not immune to the motion of nature. I look out my window and watch the water soak into my garden.

The community garden on 11th Street in Hoboken has enriched my life. My last local address had a private backyard I could reach by climbing out my kitchen window and down the fire escape. But my days of balancing a tray of perennials in one hand while blindly stepping down a metal ladder are over. When I moved into my new place, there was no backyard. I could look out my small hall window at trees, squirrels, birds and other neighbors’ landscaped backyards, but couldn’t get to them. Soon, I was missing my little plot, and one night prayed against all hope, “God, please give me a garden.”

Within a week, a note appeared in my mailbox saying that a new community garden was being organized in the five-block meridian in the middle of 11th Street. After months of looking longingly out the back hall window, I scurried through my kitchen to gaze out the larger front window in a new direction — at the trees, bushes, stone border, random blossoms and healthy weeds within easy reach just outside my front door. I signed up immediately.

One thing I discovered is that if I let the plants tell me where they want to be, and let them spread where they choose, competing amongst themselves for ground space, the garden design works better than anything I can plot out on paper and force into place. When I garden my life that same way, attentive to the living patterns but with no final expectations — it goes better as well. Just follow the flow provided by God and nature, experiment with images I like, and weed out what seems to distract from the overall plan that is emerging.

This new garden isn’t actually private — it is viewed from all sides. Neighbors and strangers can see everything from all angles, seem to feel free to pick flowers and regularly dash through the beds to catch the 126 Bus into NYC. I had to learn a lot of quick lessons about how to design and plant with the general public in mind — as well as turn the weedy lot into an extension of my personal space. Instead of asking people to stop stepping on my petunias, it became obvious that I had to accommodate the foot traffic with a well-placed stone pathway. And that we all would enjoy plants with attractive sturdy foliage, and small flowers that don’t last if you pick them — so I didn’t get as frustrated that strangers were trampling my work. After a while, I realized that the garden had changed my shape and approach to the task as much as I had changed it.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/10/gardenusethis-e1475674771521.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/10/gardenusethis-e1475674771521.jpg)When I look out my front window, I can tell if I need to get out there and water. My first clue is that the flowering plants stop flowering. That can seem like an emergency, and I find myself soaking the flower beds first, so they will be pretty again. Soon I realized that the whole garden needed water, not just the showy parts. How often do we do that with people — only pay attention to the ones that can beautify our world? But a garden has many kinds of beauty, and they all need attention and caring. So I’ve learned to watch the plants more closely, and try to attend to the needs of everything living there. Hopefully this trait carries over to the way I treat people as well.

Some anonymous donor planted a small rose bush in my plot, and I watched it grow. After a few years, it was big enough to be a thorny problem and needed to be trimmed. One of my gardening neighbors offered to teach me how to trim the bush back in the fall, and I took notes while watching his rapid ninja-like precision with the shears. The next year, I tried to follow his directions but found it difficult to cut back so many smaller branches. It took several days’ sessions of my slow meditative considerations of which branch to clip and where. It was hard to believe I wasn’t harming the plant in what felt like an attack.

But the bush came back looking healthier. So a year later, I was more confident and speedy with my trimming. The next spring, the bush just exploded out of the ground and grew to a huge, robust size. I was no longer afraid that this method was violent or harmful. It made me reflect on times of loss when I felt my life’s work was being torn away and my identity trimmed back to just the core. It doesn’t have to seem mysterious or feel like an attack or a loss. The rest of God’s creation works just fine with cycles of growth, dying and letting go. This is just the way things grow.

The garden and I have both grown. My life has been enriched by receiving this gift after asking for the impossible, by looking for answers in new directions, and letting God and the plants tend to me and my development as I learn more life lessons from my tiny plot of God’s green earth. Through it all, I’ve never forgotten that this gift of a garden was the direct answer to a prayer.


The 11th Street Garden


_TEAMS is a monthly series that celebrates the talent and impact of those who serve at Hoboken Grace._

Before moving to Hoboken several years ago, Kristen prayed that she and her husband Eric would find a community that embraced them.

“I had my reservations that Hoboken was going to be, like, everyone had their set group of friends and nobody has room for me,” Kristen says. “But I feel like God delivered in the form of dinner groups right away and gave us a community of people who genuinely cared about us, people who were going through similar life circumstances that we were.”

And in response to that answered prayer, Kristen says, she and Eric began to feel a nudge to start serving at Hoboken Grace. Eric was approached by several members of the [First Impressions Team](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/first-impressions-lasting-connections/) and soon began helping with [set-up](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/teams-gym-play-space-pray/).

“I enjoyed that experience for the fellowship that it provided in the morning,” he says. “Sure, you’re carrying things, setting up things, but it was a group of people who I got to know a little bit more and who became a part of my Hoboken Grace experience.”

Kristen, meanwhile, joined the hospitality branch of First Impressions. It wasn’t without reservations, though; her role meant getting up at 6 a.m. each Sunday to be at church by 7\. But she soon realized she was almost never tired on those mornings.

“I was always so excited to be there, and to serve alongside my husband, and just to be there to build into First Impressions, other volunteers, but also the Hoboken Grace community,” she says. “It’s been a great experience.”

[![DSCF4729](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSCF4729.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSCF4729.jpg)

Their roles have evolved since those first few Sunday mornings. The hours, responsibilities and even location have changed (Kristen and Eric led the First Impressions Team at Hoboken Grace’s former Uptown location). But now more than ever, their job is to help people find community ㅡ just as they did when they moved to Hoboken.

You’ll find them most Sunday mornings at Hoboken Grace’s Connection Point tables, welcoming newcomers, pointing out the coffee and doughnuts, and answering questions about dinner groups, impact teams and other ways to get involved. Kristen serves as the Connection Points leader, and Eric splits his time between Connection Points, set-up and tear-down.

They see the First Impressions Team as an opportunity to use the gifts that God gave them. Both have outgoing personalities, a trait they’ve honed while working in sales. Meeting new people, making them feel comfortable and carrying out long conversations on Sunday mornings allows them to use their gifts, Kristen says.

But there are roles on First Impressions that suit other character traits, too, Eric says.

“You can challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone, or if you’re a person who’s a little more reserved, or not as outgoing, the set-up team is a great behind-the-scenes way to do that, or just replenishing the refreshments,” he says. “For those who are a little more naturally outgoing, Connection Points, greeting ㅡ there’s a place for everyone who’s interested in getting involved.”

Kristen says First Impressions is for anyone who can identify with being a newcomer ㅡ as she did when moving to Hoboken and attending Hoboken Grace for the first time. It’s for anyone who’s looking to help eliminate that feeling for others, whether through feeding people, creating a comfortable and inviting space, or just pointing someone in the right direction.

“We need all those parts to join together in order for Sunday to happen,” she says. “So anybody who can identify with that feeling and wants to make people feel welcome, First Impressions is for them.”

[![DSC_8131](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSC_8131.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSC%5F8131.jpg)

**The First Impressions Team**

**Mission:** Ensures that every person who joins us on Sunday morning feels like they’ve come home.

**The commitment:** Serves on Sunday mornings.

**How you can join or find out more information:** Email anthony@hobokengrace.com.

_Want to learn more about serving on a team at Hoboken Grace? Attend our_ [_Engage_](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/9294) _class this Sunday from 11 a.m. – noon. You can also join a team [here](http://hobokengrace.com/serve/)._


There’s a Place for Everyone

As they sat down to discuss Sunday’s message at dinner group week after week, Dan and Victor started to feel an itch. They wanted to do more than dream about loving their neighbors and impacting their city. They wanted to get off the couch and into the streets.

So two years ago this month, they launched a dinner group that would be intentional about serving the city of Hoboken. At first, the group was just three people, including Dan and Victor. It has since multiplied to two groups and 23 members. But that’s not the only thing worth celebrating this month. The first women’s impact dinner group launched several weeks ago.

Impact groups resemble any other dinner group in that members meet to discuss Sunday’s message and share life together. But they might also spend that time bringing the message to life through various service initiatives. Dan and Victor’s groups, for example, have handed out popcorn at [Movies Under the Stars](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/lights-camera-popcorn/) and delivered water and snacks to bus drivers, PATH workers, firemen, EMS volunteers and Parking Authority workers. One night, they even handed out quarters to people paying for parking.

“It’s an intentional outlet to do something together that’s bigger than ourselves,” says Julia, who leads the new women’s group. “And that’s where I feel like deeper relationships can grow. … When I look back, the deeper relationships that I’ve built in my life have been through coming together to love and serve others — and witnessing how God moves in it.”

[![DSCF0027](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSCF0027.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSCF0027.jpg)

But Julia says her biggest reason for starting the group was that while she was learning a lot about God’s love on Sunday morning and in dinner group, she wanted to do more than that. She wanted to share that love with other people.

“I was driven to the point where I felt like God was asking me, “What is the point of this? What is the point of getting together in community and just keeping this to yourself?” she says.

Julia says she hopes group members will look outward as much as they look inward. Some weeks, they’ll meet at an apartment or restaurant to discuss Sunday’s message and how it applies to their life. But over time, she says, they’ll also help one another identify their passions, purpose and potential — and encourage one another to use them to serve and impact the world around them.

“My hope is that the impact group will be a place where we can come together, talk about how we were fed on Sunday, what the message means for each of us individually, but also intentionally build deeper relationships by encouraging each other to step out and to love others,” she says.

Dan and Victor’s vision also goes beyond planning impact initiatives. Dan says he hopes his group encourages people to start thinking differently about how they can impact others. He says he wants them to feel encouraged to dream bigger and take steps to make those dreams a reality.

This summer, for example, his group volunteered at two local shelters and asked about their biggest needs. They then decided to organize a churchwide collection drive one Sunday morning, where people dropped off dozens of bottles of shampoo, soap and other items for the Hoboken Homeless Shelter, In Jesus’ Name Charities and St. Matthews’ Shelter.

Julia says her group will also spend time talking about needs they see in the community. Next week, they plan to visit the hospital to give out coffee to nurses as a thank you and to wish the patients well. They’ve also been brainstorming about how they can serve and love on single moms in the area.

But above all, she hopes her group will grow to see the many ways they can share God’s love with other people.

“It’s easy to become comfortable in just looking at ourselves,” she says, “when sometimes the greatest experience of God’s love can be found when we get outside ourselves and focus on loving others.”

[![image1](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/image1-e1475126444711.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/image1.jpg)


Serving More Than Dinner


It’s one day, one square mile and one goal: to make the biggest possible impact in our city.

1Day Hoboken is THIS Saturday, and we need YOU! Are you pre-registered? Have you invited your friends?

The day starts out in the heart of Hoboken, where hundreds of volunteers will gather at Church Square Park for registration. From there, they’ll spread out to virtually every corner of the city, lending a hand at Hoboken High School, True Mentors, the Hoboken Shelter, and various parks and other organizations. We’ll also be packaging 10,000 meals for local families with the help of Generosity Feeds.

So grab your family and friends and head to Church Square Park (4th and Willow) at 10 a.m. this Saturday. You won’t want to miss this — or the epic after-party at House of Que.

Here’s a sneak peek of some of this year’s projects:

**![1day](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/1day.jpg)Generosity Feeds**

It’s the biggest 1Day project yet! We’re packaging 10,000 meals in TWO hours. These meals will stay in Hudson County, going to families in our community who struggle with hunger. (If you can help with set-up on Friday evening, email anthony@hobokengrace.com.)

**Church Square Park**

Grab a rake and give some TLC to Church Square Park. Volunteers will also be weeding the sidewalk and sprucing up some of the playground equipment. (It’s a great project for families!)

**Hoboken High School auditorium**

Help get the stage ready for showtime!

**HOLA**

Calling all bookworms! We’ll be helping the school organize its library.

**The Hoboken Shelter**

If slicing and dicing’s more your thing, throw on an apron and serve a meal at the local shelter.

**True Mentors**

True Mentors helps children unearth their potential, so we’re helping them unearth the potential of their office space! Come ready to clean, organize and move some furniture around. Volunteers are also needed to prepare supplies for enrichment clubs.

**Food collection table**

Work the food collection table outside ACME, one of Hoboken Grace’s regular outreaches. All donations will benefit the Hoboken Shelter.

**Dept. of Cultural Affairs**

Help the city prep for this Sunday’s Arts & Music Festival.

**St. Matthew Trinity Lunchtime Ministry**

Volunteers will be cleaning and organizing the kitchen, dining room and storage space.

**Maxwell Park beach**

Head to the waterfront to help remove debris and keep the beach beautiful.

There’s still plenty of time to pre-register! Just click the button below.

[![1 Day Hoboken Banner 2015](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2015/05/1-Day-Hoboken-Banner-2016-6MB.jpg)](http://hobokengrace.com/1day/)


Two More Days!

_Portraits is an occasional series that captures stories across our community, one photo at a time._

Luisa did not want to go out that night. All she wanted to do was finish packing. After weeks of being desperately homesick, she was finally heading home to her family in the Philippines. But her friends were relentless — _It’s your last weekend with us! You have to come!_ So she let them drag her out to a party.

“My hair was dripping wet; I didn’t have any makeup on,” recalls Luisa. “I think it was pretty obvious to everyone that I had been planning on going to bed.”

Luisa had no idea that she was about to meet the man who would change her story; if she had known, she probably would have dried her hair. His name was Neil, and he had a wide, infectious smile. Luisa didn’t even speak to him at first. She was still hoping to sneak home early. But her friend invited him out with them after the party.

One month later, Neil boarded a plane to the Philippines.

“It sounds like something from a movie, not something that actually happens. Our paths crossed randomly and then he is flying around the world to pursue me,” says Luisa. “But that’s how our story started.”

Neil and Luisa were married a little more than a year later, and before long, their love story grew to include a daughter, Sofia, and a son, Antonio — Neo for short.

“Neil was kind of like a little kid himself, “ says Luisa, “spontaneous, silly, adventurous. So for him, having kids was like having playmates. At Christmas I used to tease him, ‘Did you buy that for the kids, or so YOU can play with it?’ ”

![DSCF5894](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSCF5894-1024x682.jpg)

“I was always the cautious, responsible one. But Neil could smile at me and tell me to forget about the to-do list, and before I knew what was happening, we’d be jumping in the car headed to the beach.”

Neil also made sure that every July the family took a vacation together to celebrate Luisa and Sofia’s birthdays. It was “birthday month,” and everyone looked forward to it.

But in July 2013, family vacation was postponed. Luisa was six months pregnant with their third child. Neil and Luisa had decided not to find out whether it was a boy or girl. They wanted to be surprised.

On October 10, baby Lili was born.

Twelve days later, Neil died in a car accident.

He was 33 years old.

“I can’t remember the first few weeks after it happened. I guess I was taking care of the baby. I guess someone was feeding my kids. But I don’t remember. There’s nothing there,” says Luisa.

When the shock started to subside, Luisa started to feel again. And what she felt was anger.

“I couldn’t understand. How could God do this to me? How could He do this to my kids? Was it punishment? What did I do? How could He take Neil away? We had just had a baby. I needed Neil.”

People told Luisa to cling to her faith, but that just made her angrier. She wanted nothing to do with God. People told her to pray; it was impossible. If God cared about her heart then He wouldn’t have broken it. She went from desperate anger to having nothing to say to Him.

“Neil dropped the kids off at school, and they never got to see him again,” says Luisa. “I was done with God. I didn’t have the luxury of falling apart because I had three little kids depending on me every day. I had to keep going, but I was empty.”

![Untitled-1](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/Untitled-1.jpg)

One weekend, almost a year after the accident, Sofia ran through the front door bursting with excitement. She and Neo had spent the day with an old friend of Luisa’s, and they had gone to church in the city. Sofia loved it. She wanted to go back. She wanted her mom to come, too.

“All I could think was, ‘oh no…’ ” says Luisa. “I didn’t know how to tell my 8-year-old daughter that I couldn’t go to church. But I didn’t want Sofia to be angry with God. I didn’t want her to feel how I felt.”

Luisa swallowed her feelings. She googled nearby churches, looking for something like her friend’s church. Hoboken Grace popped up at the top of the results. It was the same church that Neil’s cousin had been inviting the family to for years.

A week later, Luisa found herself at church. The kids had run off to Sunday school. She was trying to sing. Luisa doesn’t remember what the song was. She doesn’t even know what words she was singing. She just knows that something inside of her broke.

“I didn’t have a revelation. God didn’t give me any answers. I just knew I was perfectly and completely loved. God had been waiting for me. He was with me. He was wrapping His love around me. I felt it. I was still heartbroken. But somehow all that rage and bitterness that was like a wall between God and me was gone.”

In the weeks and months that followed, as Luisa kept coming back, she started to feel God’s love all around her.

“It was in the strangers at church who hugged me. It was in my daughter as she held my hand and told me that we could cry together. It was in the tears that God gave me to cry so that I wouldn’t have to hold the hurt inside.”

Lili didn’t get a chance to know her dad. But Luisa tells her about him and shows her all the pictures and videos from 10 years of “birthday month” trips. Sofia and Neo like to talk about how Daddy is building a house for all of them in heaven.

“Sofia wants to know if she can finally have a puppy in heaven. And Neo wants to know if Daddy can paint his room blue,” says Luisa.

“I miss Neil every day. And when it hits me, it’s like it just happened. But God is there, reminding me that this separation is only temporary. He has given us a forever. And love for all the days in between.”

[![DSCF5892](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSCF5892.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/DSCF5892.jpg)


PORTRAITS: Love for the Days in Between

Just two weeks after moving to Hoboken last year, Courtney signed up for 1Day, a community service event that takes place across the city. She was eager to learn more about Hoboken Grace and meet new people.

“What better way to get your feet into church and then go and serve the community?” she said. “I just kind of showed up and didn’t know what to expect, but thought that it would be a great opportunity to get to know people.”

She spent the day lending a hand at Hoboken High School, helping prep the auditorium for the upcoming school year. In addition to meeting new people that day, Courtney decided she’d continue to attend Hoboken Grace. Not long after, she began serving with Grace Kids.

“I haven’t regretted it since,” said Courtney, who’s planning to help out wherever she’s needed at this year’s event.

Saturday, Sept. 24 marks the sixth annual 1Day Hoboken. The event begins at 10 a.m. at Church Square Park, where teams will split up to work on projects across town, then meet up at an after-party a few hours later.

[![IMG_3616](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/IMG_3616-e1473875534496-1024x648.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/IMG%5F3616.jpg)Thirty projects are planned for this year’s event, including the ambitious task of packaging [10,000 meals in two hours](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/biggest-1day-project-yet/) at 301 Garden St. Those meals will be distributed to students across Hudson County with the help of the organization Generosity Feeds.

“The exciting thing about those meals is that they stay within Hudson County and go home with students and families who live in our own neighborhood,” said Laura, who has been attending 1Day for five years and organizing it for four.

Due to the massive scope of the project, dozens of volunteers will be needed next Friday night just to set up at 301 Garden. And more than 100 volunteers will be needed during 1Day to package the meals.

Other projects that day will benefit In Jesus’ Name Charities, The Boys and Girls Club, the Hoboken Homeless Shelter and other organizations. There will also be service opportunities for families and younger children, including projects at parks across the city.

“Many of \[these projects\] really depend on us to do this every year,” said Laura. “We’ve really developed a relationship with these organizations.”

Last year’s event drew more than 200 people, and Laura expects an even larger turnout this year. In fact, the after-party was moved to House of Que to accommodate the event’s growing popularity.

Breann, who’s also organizing the event this year, can attest to that growing popularity. She first attended 1Day last year, as a way to get more involved in the community. She has been going to Hoboken Grace ever since and is looking forward to participating once again. She’s been helping plan the event for the past few months.

“It’s nostalgic, in a way,” she said. “It’s kind of exciting to come in as a completely outside person and now be immersed in it.”

Anyone interested in attending can sign up online at[ hobokengrace.com/1day](http://hobokengrace.com/1day).

[![IMG_3571](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/IMG_3571-e1473874599856.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/09/IMG%5F3571.jpg)


1Day, 30 Projects, Unlimited Potential


They’ve been there for plenty of special moments — 1Day, baptisms and other celebrations. But our Hoboken Grace T-shirts need a makeover, and we want YOU to be a part of making it happen. It’s time for new shirts! And this time, they’ll be designed by you!

That’s right — we’re holding a T-shirt design contest. All entries must include Hoboken Grace’s website and logo (found [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B7YDNnTeJ0RPVlhBaU9IWmVSUjQ) and [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B7YDNnTeJ0RPZUhEclZRZDJJSm8)). The rest is up to you! The winning entry will be printed on hundreds of shirts, worn all over Hoboken.

To enter, send a link or low-resolution image of your design to info@hobokengrace.com. Subject line should read “T-shirt contest.” All entries must be submitted by Friday, Sept. 30.


Design Hoboken Grace’s Next T-shirt!

What would it look like to actually live life without fear? So much of our lives are lived in response to the fears that haunt us. What would it look like to finally be free?

Join us this Sunday, Sept. 11, as we start our new series Fearless. It’s a conversation you won’t want your friends to miss. Invite someone today!

Click [here](http://hobokengrace.com/sunday/#locations) for a list of service times.


Beginning This Sunday


His thumb-sucking picked up the pace and his long eyelashes were blinking too quickly. “I don’t want Papa to die.”

That moment when your child innocently exposes your inner monologue.

He had overheard us talking. My dad is battling an aggressive meningioma. That’s a fancy way of saying brain tumor. It’s malignant. Cancer. He has already survived three craniotomies and reached the lifetime threshold of radiation for the human body. He is without eyesight in his right eye, and we had just received the news that he will be completely blind within a matter of months. Despite the best care in the country, the tumor was growing again. There would be no more operations. There would be no more radiation. There is simply nothing else that can be done.

So there I laid in all of my brokenness.

I had a choice to make. I could pour all of my own anxieties on my child by averting a discussion that would be difficult for me. Or I could use this as an opportunity to calm his fears by asserting my own faith in God. My heart wanted to comfort him, but my mind was numb. I expected to bury my face in my hands and sob. But I didn’t. Instead I heard myself telling my children about the wonders of heaven like the greatest fairy tale ever told. Or maybe they were the storytellers? I don’t remember. We talked about how beautiful it will be. Together we imagined what it will look like with pearly white gates and streets paved with gold. We remembered the truth that Jesus will be waiting for us, and we daydreamed of the first time we will be able to gaze into God’s eyes and feel his comforting embrace. We delighted in our belief that we will all be together again, surrounded by people who only love, free of sin. As I held my children tightly, I felt God’s arms around me like a gigantic hug at just the right time.

I had wanted to run. But God drew me in closer. He wanted to show me that I was not alone in my pain. I felt my sadness give way to hopefulness.

You can imagine the intense joy that I felt when I had a later opportunity to deliver the news that we have witnessed God perform a miracle in our very own family! The same neurosurgeon who had released my dad just three months earlier called him back for one last checkup, only to discover no signs of tumor growth. There is no medical explanation. It is almost unbelievable. It can only be interpreted as the power of prayer. God had taken my brokenness and not only strengthened my own faith in Him, but also gave me an opportunity to teach my children about the power of prayer and sing His glories loudly to anyone who will listen.

There are a few conversations that almost all parents dread. (Where do babies come from? I don’t want to die. And, for me, can we get a puppy?) I’m here to remind you that you’ve got this! Well, no. No, you don’t. At least I didn’t. But God did — as he always does!

_Stay tuned for more blog posts about parenting. You can also join us on Sept. 15 for Breathing Room, a night out for parents. [Click here](http://hobokengrace.com/parents/) for tickets._


Parenting’s Dreaded Conversations

Looking to grow in your understanding of God’s word and how it applies to your life? One of the many [Next Steps available at Hoboken Grace this fall](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/think-big-fall/) is the nine-week Story Study series — four courses exploring Genesis, John, Acts and Romans.

Each class will break down a book sentence by sentence, while also looking at these stories in a larger context — allowing you to see the role they play in God’s story and your story.

With just a few weeks before the Story Studies kick off, we asked each instructor what you’ll get out of their class.

**Amy (leading the [Genesis study](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/24169), Sundays, 9:30-10:30 a.m.)**

When I started to follow Christ, I realized I needed to know more of who He is and who He says I am. I grew up going to church and hearing Bible stories in Sunday School, but I never really read the Bible for myself until I was in my 30s.

After deciding I wanted to follow Him with my life, I realized I needed to know more of who He is and who He says I am. As I began to read the Bible, I discovered it was exciting, and the more I got to know God, the more I wanted to know Him better. I needed to know what God said about things so that I could follow Him. Without studying His word for myself, I was really just depending on who others said He was and what He could do.

I now have the exciting opportunity to teach Sunday Studies and watch others discover more of who He is. I have loved watching the people in the classes become more aware of God’s love for them and witnessing the actions that truth has led them to take in their own lives. I encourage anyone who has a desire to know Him more to join one of the Studies. You don’t have to have any previous Bible knowledge or you can come with plenty of Bible knowledge. God always shows us something more when we are in His word.

**Jason (leading the [Acts study](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/24165), Sundays, 11 a.m.-12 p.m.)**

Jesus has just returned to the Father, and his band of early followers are left to wonder how they will accomplish the goal of spreading the good news about Him to the entire world. Starting from this point, the book of Acts tells the story of the early church — its beginnings, its challenges and its amazing growth. This study will walk through the text, focusing not only on the history of the early church, but how this story impacts our lives today.

**![DSC_0601](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/DSC_0601-e1472617571983.jpg)Rob (leading the [John study](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/24171), Wednesdays, 8-9:30 p.m.)**

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and it can feel like everything is falling apart. In that moment, many believers are drawn to prayer and the Bible for guidance. But sometimes, the emotions of the challenging time make it hard to think clearly.

N. T. Wright describes the virtues of Bible study like this, as he comments on Romans 12:2’s concept of renewing the mind: “Here, in fact, is one of the major differences between virtue ethics and other schemes of thought: the thinking is front-loaded. A person relying on a duty- or rule-based ethic, faced with a challenge or dilemma, needs to think on the spot: Is there a rule? Is there a duty? A person following a spontaneity ethic, of course, won’t want to think at all. For someone developing a virtue ethic, on the other hand, the hard thinking has already been done some time before a particular crisis or challenge presents itself. The character has been formed by conscious choice and habit. Whether or not there is time for thought, the emergency will be met and dealt with.”

And so, in a weekly Story Study, we are able to work and talk together as a group about some of the key wisdom of the Christian faith. As we wrestle with these ideas together, we are front-loading the thinking, developing a deeper relationship with God that we can and will draw on whenever life’s challenges come our way.

**Chris High Sr. (leading the [Romans study](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/24291), Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m.)**  
Opening a present that is too good to be true. Many of us have accepted the gospel and carry it around with us. We talk of how precious the present is to us, how hard it is to live by, how we need to be better at living it out. But if you do not understand Romans, you probably have never opened it. In this class we open Romans in a way [that will change you](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/famous-for-faith/) forever. You will experience the goodness of God in ways you did not know were possible. You will discover a grace that will transform you from the inside out. You will grasp the argument of Romans and how the pieces all fit together so you can use this present the rest of your life. All of which will leave you saying, “This is too good to be true.”

_To learn more about the Story Study classes and other Next Steps at Hoboken Grace, [click here](http://hobokengrace.com/nextsteps/)._


Dive Into a Book This Fall


Whether you’re in the midst of back-to-school shopping or just clinging to these last few days of August, the arrival of fall always seems to usher in transition. Of course, there are the obvious signs: shelves freshly stocked with new pens and pocket folders, [invitations for apple picking](https://www.facebook.com/events/342603382794840/). But fall brings slower change, too: lawns and gardens start to lose their green, boots gradually replace flip-flops in the morning swarm to the PATH.

The currents of fall seem to offer an invitation of transformation, of life changes or just a shift outside what we’ve grown comfortable with. The poets and the falling leaves remind us this is a season of maturing, of shedding the old to make room for the new. The colors of parks, farmers markets and fashion shows urge us that this is the season to live life more boldly. The coffee shops tell us to add spice to our lattes. Fall, it seems, is a season for stepping outside our comfort zones, an opportunity to transform our perspectives and embrace new rhythms.

But life’s shifts and our attempts to usher them in (dieting or budgeting, for example) require seasons of transition and intentionality. As Pastor Chris said on Sunday, becoming the people we want to be — and experiencing the shift between feeding ourselves and feeding others — means thinking big. It means asking big. It means pursuing things that are bigger than ourselves. Like fall itself, it’s an invitation to inch outside your comfort zone and live life more boldly — until one day, you wake up and realize the difference. Suddenly, summer is winter. And before you know it, everything has changed.

Here are seven ways to think bigger this fall:

**1). Invest in community**

As Pastor Chris said Sunday, dinner groups aren’t about what we get out of them — they’re about growing together around one table. Dinner groups are where a dozen or so people [weave together](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/common-people-common-table-common-goal/) their different backgrounds and experiences, their struggles and their celebrations. If you’re not in a dinner group, [join one today](http://hobokengrace.com/dinnergroups/) or next month, when several new groups will launch. If you’re already part of of a dinner group, try focusing more on what you can contribute rather than what you’re getting out of it.

**2). Explore your gifts**

Serving on a team at Hoboken Grace is a great way to learn more about your gifts and talents, and how you can use them to love other people well. Maybe that looks like making people feel welcome each Sunday morning, as a member of the [First Impressions Team](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/first-impressions-lasting-connections/). Or maybe that means making an impact in [Grace Kids](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/teams-make-no-mistake/), or through [photography](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/teams-giving-the-gift-of-photo-this-christmas/), [writing](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/your-story/) or [music](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/sing-into-spring-why-you-should-join-the-choir/). How can you use your gifts to love other people? You can see a full list of teams [here](http://hobokengrace.com/serve/), or take the [Intro to Impact](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/9294) class.

**3). Find financial freedom**

When it comes to giving generously, oftentimes what holds us back is anxiety over our finances. [FPU](https://www.facebook.com/events/1583723171929754/) is for anyone who dreams of finding financial freedom — freedom from debt, anxiety, and any sort of uncertainty about budgeting and financial planning. [Former students say](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/fpu-lifetime-freedom/) the class helped them gain a grip on their finances, but also gave them the confidence to think big and give big.

**4). Find your place in God’s story**

Dive into a book of the Bible this fall with one of Hoboken Grace’s [four Story Studies](http://hobokengrace.com/nextsteps/) (Genesis, John, Acts and Romans). These classes are designed to help you engage in God’s word in new ways and [see scripture differently](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/famous-for-faith/). But they will also help you see how these books fit into a bigger picture, and help you uncover your place in God’s story. (One note: These classes are for members only. If you are not yet a member, the [CORE ](http://hobokengrace.com/nextsteps/)membership class is offered once a month.)

**5). Take a step forward**

Spare an hour or two this fall to take one of Hoboken Grace’s [Sunday growth classes](http://hobokengrace.com/nextsteps/). Learn more about getting plugged in at Hoboken Grace (Next), dinner groups (Creating Community), using your time and talents to serve (Intro to Impact), baptism (What Is Baptism), becoming a member (CORE) or establishing biblical habits (Rhythms).

**6). Plant a seed and watch it grow**

One of the easiest ways to impact our community is by [working](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/the-third-voice/) in the lives of its children. Consider [serving ](http://hobokengrace.com/serve/)in Grace Kids this fall, or just [take a tour](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/36725) one Sunday to see a bigger picture of all that Grace Kids is doing.

**7). Attend Amplify on Oct. 22**

Hoboken Grace’s one-day growth conference is less than two months away! Mark your calendar for Amplify on Saturday, Oct. 22\. Growth tracks include Foundations ([how to live life more rooted in God’s word](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/running-the-race/)), Empower (how to better use your gifts and talents), Story ([how to tell you story](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/your-story-matters/)), various book studies and, new this year, Dating.

To explore even more growth opportunities, check out Hoboken Grace’s Next Steps page [here](http://hobokengrace.com/nextsteps/).


Think Big This Fall

1 Day. 1 City. And this year, 10,000 meals for people across our community.

Each year, 1Day brings together as many people as possible to accomplish as much as we can for our city, with projects at parks, schools and local organizations. In addition to those projects, volunteers at [this year’s event](https://www.facebook.com/events/1270588539651946/) on Saturday, Sept. 24, will also package 10,000 meals for local families who struggle with hunger.

With the help of [Generosity Feeds](https://www.generosityfeeds.org/), a Virginia-based organization that works to mobilize businesses, nonprofits, churches and schools across the U.S. to combat hunger at the local level, volunteers will spend two hours packaging the ingredients for a meal of rice and beans. 

Those packages will then be distributed to the many families in our area who don’t always know when they’ll eat their next meal. A [2016 report by Feeding America](http://www.feedingamerica.org/hunger-in-america/our-research/map-the-meal-gap/2014/NJ%5FAllCounties%5FCDs%5FMMG%5F2014.pdf) estimates that more than 80,000 Hudson County residents — or 12.5 percent — struggle with food insecurity, the term the USDA uses to describe people without enough food to live a healthy lifestyle. Across New Jersey, that number rises to more than [1 million people](http://www.nj.com/essex/index.ssf/2016/05/where%5Fare%5Fthe%5Fhighest%5Frates%5Fof%5Fhunger%5Fin%5Fnj.html) — or 11.8 percent of the state’s residents.

“We always wanted 1Day to make a huge impact,” says Anthony, Hoboken Grace’s outreach director. “I learned about Generosity Feeds at a conference, and it always stuck in my mind as a great way to reach the community and impact thousands of lives locally.”

The challenge of packaging 10,000 meals in two hours, however, requires at least 150 volunteers — in addition to others who set up and clean up the event. 

In the meantime, other 1Day volunteers will be working with In Jesus’ Name Charities, manning a food donation table at Acme, lending a hand at Hoboken High School, and cleaning up various parks and playgrounds. A few hours later, everyone will meet up for a huge after-party. 

It’s shaping up to be the biggest 1Day yet! But we need your help to pull it off. Help spread the word, invite your friends and family, and [register to volunteer today](http://hobokengrace.com/1day/). Then, we’ll see you at 10 a.m. on Sept.24 at Church Square Park (4th and Willow), where the event will kick off before volunteers disperse to various projects across the city.

 We can’t wait to see the difference we can make in 1 Day!


Our Biggest 1Day Project Yet!

This past Sunday we got to cap off our BURST series with a day of just musical praise. We sang songs, we threw some paint and we had some of the loudest drums we’ve ever had in our services. If you weren’t able to join us, you can relive all the fun on our [series page.](http://hobokengrace.com/series/burst/)

And then we went home.

So now what? Here are three ways to continue growing in your worship of God.

**Start the Day with Him**

How we start the day can have an incredible impact on our attitude throughout the day. I can speak from experience on the days when I sleep through any and all alarms, or when the first thing I do when I get up is stub my toe. But aside from the little things, starting my day by making sure He is the first thing my brain takes in can have a drastic impact on the rest of it. For some of us that means we need to _not_ look at our phones or the TV right when we get up. Technology is everywhere in our lives now, but that’s the thing — it’s still going to be everywhere five minutes later, so it can wait. Take the first few minutes to open your Bible instead of your Bible app, or to play a worship song while you’re getting ready rather than watching the morning news right away. Email and text messages can wait a few minutes. Give Him the priority He deserves by making Him a priority from the get-go. That simple act will be something you carry with you throughout the day because you started the day being AWARE of Him. That makes the moments where we come to praise Him even more meaningful because we can actually see how He has been working throughout the week.

**Schedule Time to Rest with Him**

That means like actually putting something ON YOUR CALENDAR.

Let’s be real, we LIVE by our calendars on our phones, and _maybe_ the one on the fridge. If we’re going to start to be real with God about how much He means to us and our lives, let’s start setting some time aside for Him. And _just_ Him.

Before you freak out, this will probably look very different for each person. Some of you might want to go hiking or go on an adventure with God ([maybe even climb a tree](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/everyones-thinking-it-no-ones-saying-it/)). Some of you may want to find a quiet place out of town to be quiet and alone by a beach, a pool or a fireplace. Some of you may be terrified at the idea of being that alone, so you’ll find a noisy coffee shop in the next town over that’s new.

But the theme here is the same — you need to get AWAY. There is something about being intentional about getting out of your normal surroundings to spend time with God and listening to God that allows you to actually clear your head. I like to go to the beach and bring a journal and a Bible and just get everything in my head out on paper, then pray and listen for what God wants to do with it. Whatever it is for you, get away for half a day or even a whole day if you want, and make time to rest with God.

![DSC_1384](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/DSC_1384-e1471552604671-1024x372.jpg)

**Find Moments to Sing**

Nope, not joking. We talked this whole series about how God’s word actually tells us that He LOVES when we sing to Him! It doesn’t say He only loves when the Worship Team sings to Him. It doesn’t say He only loves when Josh Groban sings to him. WE. It’s as though David knew we would question this when he wrote this song in 1 Chronicles 16:8-10:

_Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness._

 _Let the whole world know what he has done._

**_Sing to him; yes, sing his praises._**

 _Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds._

_Exult in his holy name;_

 _rejoice, you who worship the Lord._

No way around that one, folks! Rather than fight it, I dare you to embrace it (and it seems David dares you, too). Whether that’s on your drive to work, your walk home, when you’re getting ready in the morning or when you’re making dinner at night — whatever it is, start by finding a time to blast your favorite worship tune and sing along. This is in no way about the quality of your voice or how well you know the words. This is about you and Him! Sing the words of the song until they’re real and true to you. No shame in hitting that repeat button! And remember, this isn’t about what we can get out of it, it’s about letting Him know how much we love him. The truth is you’ll get so much more out of that one act of loving God than you will have expected anyway.

Don’t let your worship end when you walk out the door on Sundays. Create the mental and physical space to spend time letting God know how much you love Him. He’s looking forward to spending that time with you this week.

If you’re at a loss for where to start, a great resource is our [Hoboken Grace Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/1228483827/playlist/5Flm1wCBrEzo1guCwzm2n7), which is updated often with the songs that we sing on Sundays. You can always go back and watch the music from any service on our [Livestream](https://livestream.com/hobokengrace) page as well.


Turn It Up to 11

_During the spring, the Romans Story Study class was a huge hit. This is the experience of Laura, one of the students who took the class._

Have you ever longed to be famous? Maybe the Olympics had you momentarily imagining you were the world’s greatest jumper, runner or swimmer. Or perhaps you have dreamt of being on a stage where there are smoke machines, flashing lights and loud music. Maybe your stage is quieter and more thoughtful. Perhaps your chosen fame would come as a writer or academic. Whatever the case might be, at some point many of us have thought it would be cool to have a worldwide reputation for excellence in something.

This past spring I took the [Romans Story Study](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/24291). I learned a lot about grace and who I am in Christ. I learned about how helpless I am to do good without Him. I didn’t actually learn whether the Romans longed to be known all over the world for their excellence; but as I read through the letter, I learned that they were.

The simple statement in the first chapter of the letter continually catches my eye — the church at Rome was known all over the world for its faith. Usually I basically ignore what writers say in the foreword and afterword of their books, but this intrigued me. Many times when I meditated on it, I prayed that some day the same thing would be said about Hoboken Grace.

Later as Paul closes the letter, he rejoices because everyone has heard about their obedience. What were they believing and what were they obeying that it was so noteworthy? It’s not like there was a 24-hour news cycle to fill. I can only imagine that if you were going to be known all over the world back then, you would have had to be doing something really remarkable.

What they believed is tucked between Paul’s salutation and closing remarks. It is an explanation of the gospel message. It is instruction in how to apply this gospel message to our lives. In Paul’s words, it was his good news.

This good news is really, really, really good. Did you know that as a believer in Jesus, you don’t ever have to try to be righteous again? Did you know that you are free from the Law? Did you know that your biggest sin doesn’t make God mad at you? Did you know the Spirit of God lives inside of you breaking you free from the control of your pain, selfishness and habitual sin? Did you know the more a believer sins, the more grace they get!?

I love why Paul says the gospel was preached. He repeats the goal in both his greeting and goodbye. It was so that all the Gentiles might come to the obedience that comes from faith. Both of the things for which the Romans were famous.

If I believed what Paul said in Romans, I would obey the good news too. I mean if that is what is true, then God is an incredibly good, good God. If someone so incredibly good was telling me how to live in a wise and loving way, why wouldn’t I listen to them?

Five months after our class ended, I still find the good news incredible. I do continually forget what Paul told me is true about my identity and future. But every time I call myself back to what Paul says is true and then act on this truth, I break loose from the strongholds that sin and satan have held in my life.

I think it would be so cool if the people at Hoboken Grace were known for their faith. Not just what they knew in their head, but what they did with that knowledge. It would be so cool if we really, really, really knew we were sons and daughters of the living God.

During class, I was challenged by the instructor and my fellow students to rethink everything I knew about the Gospel message. After class, I have carried this knowledge with me, and it has significantly impacted the way I live my life — both in the secular world and in “ministry.” It has inspired me to continue studying the letter after the class ended. I have found great value in putting to memory verses I now know in their larger context.

A Bible study transformed my life last spring. Will one transform yours this fall?

_To sign up for the Romans class or any of the other Story Studies offered this fall, [click here](http://hobokengrace.com/nextsteps/). Please note that they are open to members only. If you are not yet a member, the [CORE membership class](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/5472) is offered on the first Sunday of each month. Email sarah@hobokengrace.com with any questions._


Famous for Faith

A few months ago, as my mind spun in a whirl of “should do’s” and “could do’s” and “didn’t do’s,” a voice started whispering in my ear. No, literally. I was listening to an [audiobook ](https://www.amazon.com/Garden-City-Work-Being-Human/dp/0310337313/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470842278&sr=8-1&keywords=garden+city)about the balance of work and rest — in the midst of doing one much more than the other — and through the headphones came the suggestion of Sabbath, of balancing out our frantic, demanding lifestyles by taking one day each week to reset and recharge.

For as long as I could remember, I had been living in what felt like perpetual fight-or-flight mode. I was overcommitted, overscheduled and overextended. My mind was this adrenaline-powered carousel, circling with commitments, obligations and the belief that, somehow, I could keep pace. All day, every day, it spun ‘round and ‘round, casting a trance of guilt and shame as I failed to keep up.

What if, that voice in the headphones said, you stopped for 24 hours each week? What if you set aside time to be fully present for your friends and family, instead of continuing to allow your anxiety to boil over into those relationships? What if you learned to delight in what God had already created, instead of striving to do more, be more and have more?

The voice had a good point. And thus began my summer-long experiment of observing the Sabbath, because really, what did I have to lose? And if God had bothered to embed the concept of rest into the foundation of humanity in Genesis, then etch it into stone in Exodus, there must be something to it, right?

Each weekend started with the best of intentions. But eventually I’d start making mental to-do lists of all the work I could be doing. The carousel would begin chugging up and down again, until it was zipping and flying along. Heart racing. Head spinning. Panic mode.

It seems that at the core of our subconscious — at the axle of the carousel — is the idea that our value and identity are based on what we accomplish, how much we produce and how much we possess. “The thinking … goes like this,” writes Alan Fadling in [_An Unhurried Life_](https://www.amazon.com/Unhurried-Life-Following-Jesus-Rhythms/dp/0830835733). “_If I do more, I am more. If I have more, I am more. If more people like and recognize me more, I’m more valuable._ This idea is subtle, and insidious in its undermining of the Sabbath. What happens to our sense of identity if we stop our activity to observe the Sabbath day? If I am what I do, who am I on a Sabbath day when I do nothing productive?”

[![sabbath](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/sabbath.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/sabbath.jpg)

The more I clung to the idea of Sabbath — instead of the egoistical notion that the world couldn’t carry on without my contributions — the more I began to see that it was about so much more than rest. When God stopped working on Day 7, it wasn’t because He needed to — it was so that He could soak in everything He’d created.

When God dictates the [Ten Commandments](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+20&version=NIV) in Exodus, nearly a third(!) of the words He has etched into stone are about marking the Sabbath (as opposed to “do not murder,” “do not steal” or “do not worship false Gods”). Apparently, He was really into this idea. He goes on and on about it to the Israelites, who had just spent decades enslaved in Egypt. Forty years later, Moses [expands ](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%205:12-15)on the purpose of Sabbath in Deuteronomy: “Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.”

Observing the Sabbath, God seems to say, is not just about rest, or even celebration. It’s freedom from the idea that we’re defined by our work, or how well we fulfill society’s demands and expectations. It’s a weekly reminder that our value is based not on what we produce, but who we are and who God intended us to be.

Sabbath is the practice of feeling filled rather than drained, of inhaling rather than exhaling. That might look different based on your season in life, or whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. It can mean brunch surrounded by the people you love, or people watching at the pier; family time at the park, or spending time alone in prayer; going out for ice cream, or staying in to savor your haul from the garden. (John Mark Comer, the author of that aforementioned audiobook, “Garden City,” uses only this criteria: “Is it worship or is it rest?” Will it leave you feeling filled or drained?) It doesn’t even matter what day of the week it is. Sabbath is simply time and space to share with God and the people you love. It’s an opportunity to soak it all in — the things that bring you joy.

The thing is, you can’t bear fruit well without proper nourishment. You can pick up endless causes and commitments to serve God, love His people and sow some good into the earth. Your veins might pulse with purpose and good intentions. But I’m convinced that we’ll never do any of it well if the carousel is spinning non-stop. You will sputter out and short-circuit. Instead, we need the rhythm of choosing Eden over Egypt. We need to marvel at the garden once in a while, instead of toiling in skyscraper pyramids and living enslaved to our schedules, to-do lists and society’s expectations.

So, yes, Sabbath is about rest. It’s about shutting down the carousel and declaring that, sorry, this ride is out of service today, please come back tomorrow. But that’s only so we can recalibrate, mind, body and soul, after our schedules and everything else spin out of control. Sabbath is where we find our center again, where we rediscover the identity that God intended for us, instead of finding it in our work. It’s where we meet God in the middle, to remember we’re shaped not by what we do, but who we are and what He has given us. It’s a celebration — of all that you are, all that God is, and all that this world already has to offer.

_Brittney is a member of the Writing Team._


A Rhythm of Rest


The first time anyone ever mentioned pornography addiction to me was while I was chatting with a friend at a Dunkin’ Donuts after Sunday services. He mentioned it only casually — “I’ve had problems before dealing with sex and porn” — and then the conversation moved on.

But then I started to notice it more often: Guys who would casually mention their problems with sex, lust or pornography. These weren’t random strangers, either, but men I saw on a regular basis. Soon it had become abundantly clear: A lot of people are struggling with lust, but no one likes to talk about it.

To be clear, I use the term “lust” here to cover a wide range of behaviors from pornography addiction to an overzealous love for Tinder. It all comes back to the same core emotion, and it manifests itself differently in every person. And I would be remiss not to point out that it’s not just men who struggle with it — [Nielsen ratings indicate](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jincey-lumpkin/carlin-ross%5Fb%5F1278032.html) that one-third of online porn viewers are women.

One of the things that finally inspired me to write this article was when [Dan told his story at Hoboken Grace](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/story/dans-story/) back in June. In case you haven’t seen it yet, Dan talks openly about using pornography and relationships to cover up the pain he was feeling.

“In my mind I wasn’t as concerned with building a relationship as I was seeking the same type of escape from pain,” Dan said. “Looking back I’m able to see that I wanted that … feeling you get when you’re with someone physically rather than simply wanting to be with someone in the long run.”

Dan’s introduction to pornography began like most others: the internet. One day in sixth grade he accidentally found himself on the wrong website (as do [28 percent of teens who have been accidentally exposed to pornography](http://www.covenanteyes.com/2013/02/19/pornography-statistics/)). Initially he rejected what he saw, but eventually the idea of pornography became a normal thing.

“You hear your friends talk about it,” he said. “It was kind of normal. I really didn’t realize the gravity of it. You don’t really talk about porn as an issue until maybe college.”

But for most Americans, just admitting that you have a habit can be a hard step to make. According to [a study performed by the Pew Research Center in 2013](http://www.pewinternet.org/files/old-media//Files/Reports/2013/PIP%5FOnline%20Video%202013.pdf), only 12 percent of the 1,003 Americans surveyed admitted to watching internet porn.

That’s a startlingly low number for an online industry that generates $3 billion each year in the United States alone. CovenantEyes, an online accountability group, claims that about [64 to 68 percent of young adult men and about 18 percent of women use porn](http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/) at least once every week. And in 2010, 25 percent of all internet searches were for pornography. From these statistics we can only conclude that the other 88 percent of Americans lied to Pew (though Pew freely admits that performing the survey over the phone was not the most tactful approach).

But no matter who you hear it from, every source echoes the same sentiment: Pornography is a growing problem. Unlike alcohol or drugs, the dangers of porn are not readily apparent. Pornography will not give you cirrhosis. It will not increase your risk for cancer. Nonetheless, its effects can be very real.

John is a counselor at a private practice who helps men and women from a variety of backgrounds tackle issues from anxiety to addiction. Frequently he encounters men and women who struggle with lust or pornography.

“It’s like any other drug,” he said. “You build up a tolerance. You’re continuously doing something and after a while it almost becomes boring or unsatisfying, and you have to do more.”

“After a while the stimulation starts to die off after a bit,” he said. “So you’re always trying to find more and more and newer ways. It builds and it builds to a point that it can be almost all consuming. It can get to a point where people look back on the time they spent viewing porn, and all of a sudden three or four hours have gone by.”

I spoke with Michael (whose named has been changed for this article) about how lust and pornography have affected his life. His struggle began in his teen years as a way to escape from emotional pain.

“My struggles have primarily been linked to using sexuality as an escape from feeling pain” he said. “That was kind of the root of my struggle that continues all the way through my adult life, and it’s something I’m still dealing with.”

And Michael is certainly not alone. He shares a similar story with many men and women who use sexuality as a way to cope with anything from depression and anxiety, to forgetting very serious traumatic events.

“We want to numb that pain,” said John. “We want to numb that struggle. So we will go to many different coping strategies, and it just happens that sex and pornography can be one side of that.”

What is clear is that pornography does play a major role in diminishing trust between partners. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 56 percent of divorce cases involve one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.”

“It is very hard for you to realistically achieve what you would achieve through pornography,” John said. “So you almost start judging people — the human beings, the loved ones that you’re with –- comparing them to the images you’re seeing in pornography.”

It can even get to the point where porn gets in the way of loving relationships.

“It can ruin our ability to truly invest in a real relationship,” said John. “And we’re not able to really seek love either, sometimes. There’s almost a numbness, in my opinion, and people will never see that.”

But if sex and pornography addiction are such common problems, then why does it fly under the radar so easily? It’s a question with many answers. One answer is that it’s easy to hide, and pornography thrives in secrecy. This also means that it can be hard to recognize a problem even when you have one.

“One of the things I’ve noticed is that people don’t realize the effects the pornography can have on others and on themselves,” said John. “Or if they do, it’s hard for them to truly process what kind of harm it can do to a loved one or a child.”

Availability is another major part of the issue. In the pre-internet era, people seeking out pornography needed to actually venture outside and buy it at a store (presumably in trench coat and over-sized hat, since you were embarrassed to be seen doing it). And you were forced to contend with whatever they had available.

But pornography is everywhere now. It’s even in our pockets: An analysis of more than 1 million hits to Google’s mobile search sites shows more than one in five searches are for pornography on mobile devices. Most of it is free. And the supply is virtually limitless.

[![sunrise-1204204_1280](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/sunrise-1204204_1280-e1470936001493.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/sunrise-1204204%5F1280.jpg)

For Michael, the escapism first came in the form of books, but the digital age changed all that.

“As I got older, the internet opened up new possibilities for me to escape,” he said. “Before long it kind of evolved into chat communications available on the internet. Then I realized I could get a sense of intimacy — albeit false — through those means. It was kind of a progressive arc of decay in that area of my life.”

It’s also possible to fill whatever need you are seeking at the click of a button. [As the saying goes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule%5F34%5F%28Internet%5Fmeme%29), “If you can imagine it, there’s a porn for it.” And like other forms of addiction, porn use frequently escalates. A 2016 study discovered that [half of the porn users surveyed had escalated to material](http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/why-did-my-porn-use-escalate) they once found “uninteresting or disgusting.”

In fact, there is now mounting evidence that pornography is sapping men of their sexual drive. Only within the last few years has pornography become so easily available with the arrival of high-speed internet and smart phones. The results? Millennials have become the very first wave of victims falling prey to porn-induced erectile dysfunction, or PIED. As [Time magazine](http://time.com/4277510/porn-and-the-threat-to-virility/http://time.com/4277510/porn-and-the-threat-to-virility/) puts it: “These young men feel like unwitting guinea pigs in a largely unmonitored decade-long experiment in sexual conditioning.”

Now, the same people who were once enthusiastic porn users are starting to push back. Growing communities are now discouraging pornography use. [Your Brain On Porn](http://yourbrainonporn.com/) is a website started by Gary Wilson to document the overwhelming effect porn has had on its users, on top of thousands of personal testimonies from its readers. A Reddit community for people who are trying to abstain from pornography has close to 200,000 members.

Also fueling the problem, Michael says, is the volume of the content available on the internet. “Without too much effort, you can kind of tap into a great mass of material that can be really destructive to your thinking,” he said. “It really opens up all sorts of dangerous avenues.”

“We don’t like to be uncomfortable,” John said. “So instead of being uncomfortable, we’ll look for the quickest satisfaction to make us feel comfortable. And because of how readily available things are, we find ways — basically through addictions — to help us cope with something deeper within ourselves that we don’t want to address.”

“Part of it goes to the misuse of sex,” said Michael. “Sex is intended to be a form of God’s love between a man and woman in the context of marriage. I think what is seen with pornography, masturbation and lust is that it’s become something that can be decoupled from that intent. It becomes something where it’s an attempt to find intimacy, love and safety but in the wrong place.”

The good news is that there is a road to recovery. When asked about the first steps to take, everyone I spoke with gave a unanimous answer: Talk to somebody. When dealing with addiction, John said, accountability is paramount.

“That is probably one of the most important aspects. You have to start talking about the issue, talking about the problem and opening up to somebody who can be an accountable person in your life,” said John.

Michael emphasized that while many people seem to have no problem with sexuality or pornography, it’s important to remember that it’s not doing any good for them either.

“What I found is that I couldn’t do it on my own,” said Michael. “Talking about my problem with a counselor or other guys was one healthy step I’ve taken in my life. I think the act of telling another human being about my struggle was a really important part.”

For anyone who is struggling with lust, sex or pornography issues, another suggested step is seeking help. Hoboken Grace can recommend[ private counseling and therapy groups](http://hobokengrace.com/counseling/).

“Humility is a really important initial step,” said Michael. “Realize that sometimes you can’t always do this on your own.”


Let’s Talk About Lust

Frustrated about finances? Drowning in debt? Befuddled by budgets, investments and retirement planning? Join the countless others who have found financial freedom through [Financial Peace University.](https://www.facebook.com/events/194446337691815/)

FPU is a practical, nine-week course that will teach you [how to manage money God’s way](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/the-most-important-lessons-we-learned-from-fpu/). The class covers relationships, budgeting, getting out of debt, insurance and making wise investments. The average Hoboken Grace household has experienced a more than $4,000 turnaround in their finances during the nine-week course itself.

The class will be offered Mondays (from 7:30-9:30 p.m., starting Feb. 6) and Tuesdays (from 7:30-9:30 p.m., starting Feb. 7). Attendance for all nine sessions is strongly recommended, and married couples are encouraged to attend together.

Those who took the class in the fall on average [paid off more than $2,500 in debt](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/three-takeaways-from-fpu/) and saved more than $2,000, according to surveys distributed at the end of the nine weeks. But months later, they are still unloading debt, growing their savings account and applying the many other lessons learned in FPU. Here are four stories from fall semester students who are experiencing financial freedom:

**Tasheka**

I was always interested in finance, so much so that I pursued it as a career. Within my roles (current and past), I was always responsible for managing millions of dollars each month to ensure we are meeting our yearly goals.

However, when it came to my own personal finances, I lacked the same enthusiasm and insight. I knew I had my fixed monthly expenses that were paid timely, but outside of this, all my discretionary income would just disappear before the close of the month, and I was hardly saving enough for any life emergencies. I started a new job last year that pays monthly, and I knew I needed to get my spending under control for fear of getting myself in a financial bind.

I decided to sign up for FPU in January, and it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in 2016 (the year of courage). Since starting the class, I have created a monthly budget every month to account for how each dollar will be spent, I’ve paid off all but one credit card, I now have a growing savings account and, most importantly, I’ve been able to tithe as soon as I get paid (instead of paying all my bills and then seeing what I have left).

This class has been a blessing to my life because I am no longer stressed about something as important as my finances. I now have a plan to be completely debt-free by 2018\. And I can honestly say I am well on my way to accomplishing my goals!

**Dan and Rebecca**

FPU has totally changed the way we view our finances together — from how we manage everyday expenses like groceries, eating out and filling the car with gas to big decisions like buying a car, house and insurance. It challenges fundamental ideas that many today have accepted as ‘truth’ when in fact those very things are what may drive people to financial ruin. We cannot recommend this course enough for those who are struggling with debt and their finances. If we were to sum it all up — in FPU, we entered thinking debt was something to be managed and left believing it’s something to be free from!

**Andy**

FPU was great for me because it laid out a formula to accomplish financial freedom. It wasn’t an abstract set of ideals. Instead, it provided a comprehensive list of steps toward peace of mind.

The debt snowball, a simple yet empowering method of paying off debt, was my favorite and most influential aspect of the course. I highly recommend FPU for anyone who wants a deeper understanding of financial responsibility, as well as a plan to achieve the peace and independence that comes with properly handling your hard earned money.

**Angela**

Financial Peace University gave me a plan. Prior to taking the course, I had no real plan for the money I was saving, and without a plan, I felt no strong sentiment for the money I was spending.

I had the attitude that since I was living in Hoboken, where rent is high and it is hard to save anyway, I might as well live well — support every local coffee shop, never say no to a happy hour and sport a new dress for every occasion. Increasingly louder was the inner conviction that this was not God’s intention for my earnings and for the countless hours I was spending at work.

FPU matured me as I accepted the truth that how I handle my finances now will contribute to the ease at which I can achieve the plans and desires in my heart in the future. Dave Ramsey’s passionate interpretation on financial planning caused me to waste no time in putting together a realistic budget and seeking to understand where every dollar of my income was going.

My boyfriend and I took this course together, and we’re so grateful for establishing these FPU principles in the foundation of our relationship. Our Uber trips up and down Washington Street have since subsided, and now when we’re covered in sweat going from A to B, we smile at one another and say “live like no one else now so later we can live like no one else!”

_Financial Peace University will be offered on Monday and Tuesday Nights from 7:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. starting the week of February 6th. Classes are full this semester. If you have any questions you can contact Sarah at [sarah@hobokengrace.com](mailto:sarah@hobokengrace.com)._


Living a Life of Financial Freedom

_TEAMS is a monthly series that celebrates the talent and impact of those who serve at Hoboken Grace._

**“Where have you seen God?”**

It’s a question Pastor Chris challenged us to think about this week. But for the Writing Team, it’s the question that drives everything we do. As we think about what stories to feature in the newsletter and on this blog, we ask ourselves week after week where we see God working in our church family and in our city — what are the stories shaping our community?

Since the beginning of time, God has used stories to connect people. They are the strings that tie us together and draw us closer to Him. And in an age of social media and email newsletters, the power of story is greater than ever.

So once a month over coffee and brunch, we work through that central question: “Where have we seen God?” Sometimes the conversation centers on how we see Him using a specific person or team to impact our city. Sometimes we talk about a conversation we are working through as a church family, or discuss ways in which we see people looking for God.

From there, we think about how we can share that story. How can we show that God’s story is being lived out in our city? How can we help people continue to grow and live in healthy community? And, above all, how can we help bring people closer to God?

As we walk through these questions week after week — and after nearly 200 blog posts over the past year and a half — we see lives transformed and prayers answered. We see people passionate about serving, and things in our city worth celebrating. We see how your stories tie our community together and make all of us feel less alone.

Quite simply, we see God through your stories. So for this TEAMS post, it’s time we explain what serving on the Writing Team means to us.

**Joanna**

I joined the Writing Team because I love stories, and I want to share how God is working in my life and your life with the rest of our church family. When I feel disconnected or far away from God, or like my prayer life is just me talking to myself about all the things that make me anxious, it’s the stories I hear in my dinner group that shake me awake and remind me that God can be trusted, He does answer prayers and His plans always exceed my own. These stories make me braver and give me peace. I write to shine a light on how God is moving in our city, because the story of God’s grace and power isn’t confined to the pages of a big book scribed thousands of years ago — it’s being written every day, all around us and in us. That deserves a headline.

**Cassie**

When thinking about joining a team at Hoboken Grace, it was important to me to really consider where my God-given talents were strongest, the needs of the moment, and what I could actually commit to doing with the demands of my career. I work in the publishing industry, so the written word is very central in my life, and I’ve been blessed to have a strong gift for expressing myself and others through writing. I had been considering where to best serve at Hoboken Grace for about a month when I heard there was a need for people to join the Writing Team. It seemed like a no-brainer and where God was leading me to serve. It also allows me to actively serve even when I’m not physically in Hoboken — which is great for me, since I travel a lot for work.

Not only has working on stories with the team allowed me to take notice of where God is working in the lives of our community, but it has allowed me to reflect on my own spiritual needs and think about what topics are significantly impacting the lives of Christians at large, which has definitely influenced what projects I tend to take on in my professional life as well.

[![IMG_6700](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/IMG_6700-e1470327016879.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/08/IMG%5F6700-e1470327016879.jpg)

**Matt**

I was first invited to attend church by my friend Matt sometime last year. What made a deep impression on me was the way Hoboken Grace gave so much and helped people without expectation. And what I saw at the core of that community was a group of people who gave back their time to make Hoboken Grace run like clockwork. With so many people pitching in, I felt it only fair to start giving back too (plus, they kept feeding me breakfast).

Opportunity came knocking not too long after that when I saw the newsletter table at church one day. I’m an engineer by trade, but writing is my passion. Writing for the newsletter is simply something that fits my current strengths: my schedule is hectic and I frequently can’t commit to anything more than a week in advance. But writing is something I can squeeze into my spare time, and I love doing it. So far I’ve covered topics I would have never predicted encountering. It’s been an honor being able to tell some of the amazing stories people have shared with me.

**Brittney**

To be honest, I was pretty hesitant about joining the Writing Team as it was starting up last year. While on the one hand it seemed like a good fit — I’d worked for a newspaper in some form or another since junior high — my mind went to some of my insecurities instead of what I could contribute. I thought about the fact that I didn’t know many people at Hoboken Grace, and that I’d probably have to ask total strangers intimate questions about their faith (or really cheesy questions, like what got them excited about the Easter Egg Hunt). I didn’t think anyone cared about what I had to say, and was wary it would be a huge time commitment.

But I’ve never regretted saying yes. I soon learned that serving on the team was one of the easiest ways to meet people at Hoboken Grace — and one of the fastest ways to get plugged in. Week after week, I get to see firsthand how God is moving in our community — how people are growing in their relationship with Him, and how He is using us to impact this city.

But the most rewarding part for me is seeing how God uses your stories to reach other people. I love hearing that a blog post showed up in the newsletter at just the right time — when someone felt particularly alone, when they were looking for a nudge from God, or when a story changed their perception of baptism or dinner groups.

We might be the Writing Team, but this is your blog. And this blog — this community — more than anything needs your stories. That doesn’t mean you need to join the Writing Team (although you’re welcome to, especially if you like a good brunch). That means we need your story here, in this space, even if your mind is darting to your insecurities right now, instead of [what you have to contribute](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/your-story-matters/). If you’ve been thinking about sharing any part of your story (and especially if you’re hesitant about being on video), this is your opportunity. Because more than anything, we want to know where you’ve seen God.

_If you’re interested in joining the Writing Team or sharing any part of your story, email Brittney at brittney@hobokengrace.com._

**The Writing Team**

**Mission:** To tell God’s story inside our family via the Hoboken Grace blog, while helping people grow and live in healthy community.

**The commitment:** Members write weekly and attend monthly meetings.

_Want to learn more about serving on a team at Hoboken Grace? Attend our [Intro to Impact](https://hobokengrace.churchcenteronline.com/registrations/events/9294) class this Sunday from 12:45 pm – 1:45 pm. You can also join a team [here](http://hobokengrace.com/serve/)._


Your Story

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A Diverse, Growing, Contemporary, Community Church in Hoboken

Everything we do revolves around our mission of helping people find their way back to God. Our goal is to demonstrate who God really is and to let others know that God wants a relationship with each and every one of us.

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